60 Movies That Can Suck My Dick Vol. 6

Newman

This Dudley Moore dud tested so badly with preview audiences, that a red-hot Eddie Murphy was hastily added in a supporting role that feels unrelated to the main narrative- something about Army tank technology and the Middle East. The dire "Defense" had none and bombed anyway, literally and figuratively. Writer-director William Huyck, a George Lucas associate, went on to make "Howard the Duck". Ouch.

Sarah Jessica Parker

De Palma

Picture "Police Academy" with security guards.

I wish I could respect the film debut of Jim Varney's. "Camp" is childish crap

Michael Keaton's career may not have made it out of the '80s without Tim Burton. Certainly not at an A-list movie star level. That was my verdict after revisiting one of his worst films, about a NYC con artist on the run with Rae Dawn Chong. You couldn't find me someone who remembers this movie if your life depended on it. I vaguely remember a murder subplot, a lotto conspiracy, and a villainous Meat Loaf. Was this supposed to be a comedy? A complete financial and artistic failure, "The Squeeze" is one baffling, strange film.

How ironic that Mickey Rourke, who famously quit acting for five years to become a REAL boxer, was responsible for the worst boxing movie, a passion project he spent ten years developing. Mickey's ragged romance with real-life wife Debra Feuer fizzles, and his "Heaven's Gate" pal Christopher Walken wastes his time(and ours) as a corrupt promoter. An odd mix of underdog tropes and underworld sub-plotting, "Homeboy" got brutally knocked out in the first round.

Nobody wins. Debra Winger had an incredibly difficult time following her career-best work in "Terms of Endearment" with another movie worth watching.

Peterson

This famously-bad sequel to the 1986 cult actioner sunk the "Highlander" series before it ever really began. Hollywood didn't get the memo- everything isn't meant to be a franchise.

Nothing is harder to watch than horrible sci-fi.

The worst James L. Brooks movie. Nick Nolte was miscast as

Here's Wesley Snipes seeing where his career would've been headed without the "Blade" franchise. I like most Jon Badham

Candy

This trashy 86-minute thriller was a leading lady career-killer for Rebecca De Mornay. Her risky business with Antonio Banderas was like something you'd see on Skinemax after midnight. Somehow, "Strangers" got theatrically released. A ludicrous twist ending kept their sexcapades out of the guilty pleasure category. British theater director Peter Hall never tried another Hollywood film.

lifeless

What an ironic title for one of the most forgettable

And so does Chris Tucker. Charlie Sheen costars, because drugs and hookers are expensive.

Costner

The worst '90s movie that was a bit hit at the box office($ million domestically)

I know this Guy Ritchie guy movie has it's fans. I'm here to tell them that they're wrong.

cheerleaders

tried to make S S cool again. No chance.

Steve Martin

John McTiernan's worst film was a disaster for all involved. A wiretapping scandal over it's tortured production would put the once-great filmmaker in federal prison for a year. Chris Klein, of "American Pie" fame, was badly exposed in his bid for action star status, and we wouldn't be hearing much more about the acting potential of Rebecca Romijn either. Many rewrites, reshoots, and re-edits delayed release and didn't help. A remake of the 1975 James Caan-Norman Jewison dystopian hit, I still can't believe the director of "Predator" and "Die Hard" made this.

Brittany Murphy seemed like a wonderful person and her untimely death remains incredibly sad.

Alba

Ben Affleck is trying to erase the memory. Hong Kong legend John Woo ended his relationship with American audiences after this.

Are we sure Wes Craven was a great filmmaker? Setting "Scream" aside for a second, I'm not seeing much evidence. Christina Ricci

Brian De Palma's companion piece to "Casualties of War" serves a grim reminder of the 2006 rape and murder of a 14 year old Iraqi girl and her family by four ghastly U.S. Army soldiers. A worthwhile underreported story, no doubt. If only it were half as effective as his earlier statement on military dehumanization. The showy fake docu-style of cinematographer Jonathon Cliff(no Wiki page) is a fatal flaw, that only generated $782,102 on a $5 million budget.

Murphy

Wes Craven failed miserably in his second-to-last film. I forgot about this movie minutes after it was over.

The 2009 original

Reeves

Sandler

An overweight, wildly-overqualified Russell Crowe embarrassed himself in this

Speaking of once-mighty movie stars, I give you a grumpy, gray Mel Gibson

Jamie Lee Curtis expressed remorse over the two terrible sequels that followed the 2018 reboot that started out well enough(financially, at least) with writer-director David Gordon Green.

Great Movies- Braveheart

The Comedy Hall of Fame- Fletch

Forty years ago today, Chevy Chase ordered a steak sandwich(and a steak sandwich) and charged it to the Underhills. If you're a middle-aged male with fond memories of the pre-streaming, all-entertainment bonanza that was TNT/TBS in the 1990s, you know I'm talking about Irwin M. Fletcher, better known, of course, simply as Fletch. I don't know that you can call it a GREAT movie, in the same way that "The Godfather", "Jaws", and "Back to the Future"(released the same summer) are great movies. But it is a highly-quotable, strangely-addictive comedy that stood out even at a time when Hollywood knew how to make those. It's almost as if director Michael Ritchie("The Bad News Bears") knew it's episodic structure would prove irresistible to channel surfers and could later be chopped up perfectly on Youtube. "Fletch" made a respectable $50 million at the U.S. box office, but it's afterlife among a like-minded cult was the real victory.

Chase was 40 years old and at the peak of his wise-ass powers when the film entered production. The SNL original was basking in the goodwill of Goldie Hawn romcoms, "Caddyshack", and "National Lampoon's Vacation"(with a sequel soon to follow). There was no reason to believe that his comedic leading man brand wouldn't survive the next decade. This was his moment, with a character much closer to his true self than Clark Griswald. Roger Ebert seemed to miss the point in a lukewarm review, calling Chevy's performance "an inflexible mask of cool detachment". I don't see the problem, Rog. Like Axl Foley in 1984's biggest hit "Beverly Hills Cop"(I don't think it's a coincidence that both contain a Harold Faltermeyer score), Fletch's appeal is his quick wit, supreme confidence, and total disregard for what others think. Gregory McDonald wrote eleven "Fletch" novels starting in 1974, and when Burt Reynolds, George Segal, and Richard Dreyfuss rejected the part, Chase was chosen to make comedy history.

Before there was Ace Ventura and a "Big Lebowski" fest, there was Fletch(oh, Jeff Bridges was offered it too). He walked, so Ryan Reynolds could run. Now is a good time to bring up the mystery plot, engagingly adapted by screenwiter Andrew Bergman. Ritchie keeps the audience guessing about the motives of Tim Matheson's murky millionaire, to head up an underrated supporting cast- Joe Don Baker(scary), Dana Wheeler-Nicholson, Richard Libertini, M. Emmet Walsh, George Wendt, George Wyner, and a young Geena Davis. But it's the Chevy Chase show, and his many disguises and improvisations that Ritchie rightly allowed, is the reason it's so beloved. Unfortunately, the Fletch magic only lasted 98 minutes. The 1989 sequel "Fletch Lives" is much less popular, and further installments(Chase once hoped for a five-film franchise) never materialized. 'Fletch 3' had been in development hell for 25 years when Jon Hamm won the role- 2022's "Fletch, Won" was well-received but a follow-up feels unlikely. That's because there's only ONE Fletch in my life and my DVD rack, and today's kids don't hold onto anything in this increasingly-atomized, disposable pop culture hellscape. They don't even know what they're missing. Bit by bit, a lot of old movies became classics. That doesn't happen anymore, and may never again. What was the last comedy that college kids had memorized? I think I found Fletch's next case.

Underrated Movies Vol. 8

Hitchcock

Clint

Goldie

Roman

Oliver Stone's

Irons

horror

Lange

Roy S

This sexy California crime movie was the best and most ambitious of the four films directed by New Hollywood legend and screenwriting wiz Robert Towne. Mel Gibson and Kurt Russell are lifelong friends on opposite sides of the law- one is a slicked-back L.A. cop, the other is a laidback cocaine dealer. They both fall in love with a classy, beautiful restaurant owner played by Michelle Pfeiffer. As if those fireworks aren't enough, Raul Julia and J.T. Walsh, TWO all-time character actors that left us way too soon, pop up in supporting roles.

Christmas

Walken

Spike Lee

preferring Ron Sheton's feel-good sports hits, "Bull Durham" and "White Men Can't Jump".

Bacon

Cusack

Colin F

Mark R

Michael Bay's historical blockbuster took a beating

football

Stone

Natalie P

Watts

Russell

Joy

Amy

Baker

tennis

Colin F

Vince

Sorkin

Kennedy

Keanu R

Pfeiffer

Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson