Thirty-five years ago today, Sylvester Stallone released the fifth and final(LOL!) installment in his wildly-popular, career-defining boxing saga, and something wholly-unexpected happened. His former two-time heavyweight champ suffered a knockout loss at the box office to a nine-year old soon-to-be superstar Macauley Culkin. This was unthinkable in 1985. The fourth film's fun factor just couldn't be replicated, forcing #5 into a middle-age narrative with a somber tone. But "Rocky" fans didn't want to see their hero brain-damaged and broke, and the popularity of the John Hughes hallmark "Home Alone" and Kevin Costner's instant classic "Dances with Wolves" was insurmountable in retrospect. Stallone unceremoniously shelved his most beloved creations as the '90s got underway(Rambo was equally-unfashionable in the era of "Seinfeld", Tarantino, and Nirvana). But is "Rocky V" really that bad? Hasn't it been redeemed by 2006's "Rocky Balboa" and the "Creed" trilogy?? Rocky's reluctance to train Michael B. Jordan's Adonis makes more sense through it's flawed lens. Let's lay all this incessant negativity to rest, once and for all.
"Rocky V" never happened. That became a common declaration of online detractors over the years. It DID happen, though. Stallone himself has dismissed and disowned the film, furthering it's unfortunate reputation. Sly has starred in approximately 25 films that are objectively worse than "Rocky V"(including his "Expendables" franchise). We never hear him talk about that. Considering his politics, maybe he shouldn't talk about anything anymore. Alas, we're hear to talk about "Rocky V", a movie I never skipped during those TBS/TNT marathons growing up. Original director John G. Avildsen was lured back to tell a more realistic boxing story, about the darker side of the fight game. Combat sports history has proven this to be a very valid creative choice(Paulie's power of attorney aside). You don't have to look too far to find similar fighter trajectories. Don King and Dana White deserve a jab or two, in the form of Richard Gant's greedy George Washington Duke. Sage Stallone nicely plays Rocky Jr., if you can forgive the infamous four-year time-jump. It helps to just pretend that the main plot takes place between 1986-1990. The entire series has a confused timeline that Stallone forgot to iron out.
That brings me to the main reason that "V" is unjustly derided. One of the franchise's most elating moments. Tommy Morrison was a real-life heavyweight, and would've beaten Carl Weathers, Mr. T, and Dolph Lundgren, for those that don't know. He wasn't an actor, but neither were they, and Tommy Gunn is Rocky, twenty years younger, minus the heart(thanks, Adrian). The streetfight and the two Mickey flashbacks("GET UP YOU SON OF A BITCH...) are awesome and worth the price of admission. The untimely deaths of Sage and Tommy alone is reason to leave the film alone. For a long time, this felt like the last punch Balboa would ever throw("Sue me for what?"), and it's still a dopamine rush. Elton's John's "The Measure of a Man" may be the most underrated original song in movie history, a melancholic companion piece to John Cafferty's "Heart's on Fire" and Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger", two widely-celebrated tunes in the series soundtrack. So, stop acting like Kevin Connolly every time this flick gets brought up, and respect it for what it is. One more round for a not-yet retired icon of perseverance and quiet masculinity, over-acting and murky money troubles, be damned.
