Great '80s Characters Part II

The enthusiastic response to my first list of great '80s characters inspired me to go find some more. It wasn't hard. I believe in leaving no stone unturned. Enjoy.

80. Buddy- "Just One of the Guys"(1985) The male body needs sex at all times. It's a living hell.

79. Ernest P. Worrell- "Ernest Goes to Camp", "Ernest Saves Christmas"(1987,1988) R.I.P. Jim Varney.

78. Colonel James Braddock- The "Missing in Action" trilogy(1984,1985,1988) Chuck Norris rips off "Rambo" and achieves moderate cinematic success.

77. Otto- "A Fish Called Wanda"(1988) Kevin Kline eats a goldfish and wins an Oscar. That's something I'll never forget.

76. Starman- "Starman"(1984) Jeff Bridges has seven Oscar nominations. John Carpenter helped him get one of them.

75. Luis Molina- "Kiss of the Spider Woman"(1985) As long as we're talking about Oscars, William Hurt has one, for his homosexual inmate in Brazil.

74. Edward Rooney- "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"(1986) Jeffrey Jones' truant hunter will stop at nothing to rain on his most popular student's parade. Too bad about that sex offender stuff.

73. Noodles- "Once Upon a Time in America"(1984) I don't know if you know this or not, but Bobby De Niro plays organized crime figures really well.

72. Lloyd Dobler- "Say Anything..."(1989) John Cusack made some good teen comedies in the '80s. He made one, actually.

70,71. Bill and Ted- "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure"(1989) These two teen time-traveling bozos got two sequels that I wouldn't bother with if I were you.

69. Marion Cobretti- "Cobra"(1986) Crime is a disease. Meet the cure.

68. Dalton- "Road House"(1989) We might as well get Patrick Swayze's ass-kicking, cable-conquering guilty pleasure and his mullet out of the way.

67. Mikey- "Look Who's Talking"(1989) Bruce Willis is hilarious in Amy Heckerling's huge sleeper hit.

66. Sgt. Emil Foley- "An Officer and a Gentleman"(1982) Louis Gossett Jr. doesn't care if you got no place else to go.

65. Beth Jarrett- "Ordinary People"(1980) An icy Mary Tyler Moore sheds her lovable sitcom image in 1980's Best Picture winner. She should've been in more movies.

64. Conrad Jarrett- "Ordinary People"(1980) Timothy Hutton's tortured teen earned him the Best Supporting Actor Oscar.

63. Jane Craig- "Broadcast News"(1987) Holly Hunter's newsroom heroine lights up James L. Brooks' second best movie.

62. Sidney- "Midnight Run"(1996) An honorable mention goes out to Dennis Farina's Chicago mob boss Jimmy Serrano. I like to think that his smooth right hand man Philip Baker Hall moved to Vegas and helped launch Paul Thomas Anderson in 1996's "Hard Eight".

61. Julie Nichols- "Tootsie"(1982) I was a better man with Jessica Lange as a woman...never mind.

60. Larry- "Parenthood"(1989) It's not another get-rich quick scheme, is it, Tom Hulce? I think every extended family has a member that's really out there. Heck, it could be me or you. We can't ALL be as well-adjusted as Ron Howard.

59. Karl- "Die Hard"(1988) I love the psycho henchman action movie trope. Alexander Godunov's bloodthirsty terrorist-robber has got to go on the top of that list.

58. Mr. Strickland- "Back to the Future Part I and II"(1985,1989) Everyone's favorite asshole principal James Tolkan has been rounding up slackers for 30 years now.

57. Judge Doom- "Who Framed Roger Rabbit"(1988) Christopher Lloyd's toon-hunting heavy is creepy in a way that kids movies never allow anymore.

56. Scott Howard- "Teen Wolf"(1985) Everyone likes Michael J. Fox's Wolf. Don't tell me you don't.

55. Dark Helmet- "Spaceballs"(1987) Rick Moranis was at the forefront of the business for a few years. Don't forget it.

54. Momma- "Throw Momma From the Train"(1987) Owen loves his Momma. I know you love Danny DeVito's demented mother Anne Ramsey too.

53. Al Czervik- "Caddyshack"(1980) You get much more than a free bowl of soup from Rodney Dangerfield's randy real estate developer.

52. Ty Webb- "Caddyshack"(1980) Do you do drugs, Danny? Good.

51. Gertie- "E.T. the Extra Terrestrial"(1982) A six-year old Drew Barrymore was so endearing, we gave her a morning talk show, forty years later.

50. Matty Walker- "Body Heat"(1981) She's the ultimate bored housewife, and the early-'80s version of Kathleen Turner will make you wish that time could stand still. Why do we have to get old?

49. Garrett Breedlove- "Terms of Endearment"(1983) What a sick name they gave Jack Nicholson's amorous astronaut. I just want to have a fraction of the fun this guy was having when I'm 45.

48. Norman Dale- "Hoosiers"(1986) Just a friendly reminder that Gene Hackman is one of the best to ever do it. Basketball practice is something else now, and we're all going to be winners.

47. Norman Thayer- "On Golden Pond"(1981) Henry Fonda's grumpy grandpa was a classy farewell from one of the greats. The Best Actor Oscar was presented four months before his death.

46. Celie Harris- "The Color Purple"(1985) Whoopi Goldberg made "one of the most amazing acting debuts in movie history"(a Roger Ebert quote) in Steven Spielberg's first 'serious' movie.

45. Mr. Joshua- "Lethal Weapon"(1987) Would you fight Gary Busey's spooky drug-ring enforcer to the death on your friend's front lawn in the pouring rain, two days before Christmas? Me neither.

44. Cameron- "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"(1986) At least Alan Ruck had fun in his Red Wings jersey with real-life pal Mathew Broderick in the most epic teen movie ever made.

43. Clarence Boddiker- "Robocop"(1987) Kurtwood Smith is a total psycho in Paul Verhoeven's sci-fi action classic.

42. Vicki Vale- "Batman"(1989) Gotham's gorgeous new resident may be a damsel in distress, but she's played by Kim Basinger and my preteen self was grateful for that.

41. Sam Stone- "Ruthless People"(1986) Danny DeVito's philandering millionaire doesn't want his wife Bette Midler back in this ZAZ comedy that should be better known.

40. Sgt. Barnes- "Platoon"(1986) Tom Berenger's battle-scarred soldier left his humanity behind in Oliver Stone's masterpiece.

39. Pvt. Trip- "Glory"(1989) A 34 year old Denzel Washington shed a single tear at the end of the decade, and Hollywood had it's next great leading man.

38. Hobson- "Arthur"(1981) John Gielgud's dry butler helped make this Dudley Moore comedy the fourth biggest moneymaker of the year.

37. Billy Blaze- "Night Shift"(1982) Meet Michael Keaton, the livewire comic actor that proved to be much more than that when we got to know him better.

36. Tuck Pendleton- "Innerspace"(1987) Dennis Quaid's cool pilot went inside Martin Short and the homes of everyone with HBO and Cinemax in the late '80s.

35. Sheriff Teasle- "First Blood"(1982) Brian Dennehy doesn't want unwashed Vietnam veterans in his town. Not even for a bite to eat.

34. Leo Getz- "Lethal Weapon 2"(1989) Whatever you need, Joe Pesci gets, okay??

33. Billy Rosewood- "Beverly Hills Cop I and II"(1984,1987) Judge Reinhold's fame is hard to explain to somebody that wasn't there. For a brief moment, he was as recognizable as Tom Hanks.

32. Marion Ravenwood- "Raiders of the Lost Ark"(1981) Indy's future wife Karen Allen will drink you under the table and tag along on any adventure. Sorry for the "Crystal Skull" reference.

31. Elliott Taylor- "E.T. the Extra Terrestrial"(1982) Henry Thomas will believe in his friendly alien houseguest for his whole life.

30. Jack T. Colton- "Romancing the Stone"(1984) A dirty Michael Douglas was so ready to be a movie star. That was the word coming out of pleased patrons of this Bob Zemeckis breakthrough.

29. Westley- "The Princess Bride"(1987) Speaking of movie stars, a swashbuckling Cary Elwes very much looked like one in Rob Reiner's much-loved romantic fairy tale.

28. Henry Jones Sr.- "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade"(1989) Only original 007 Sean Connery could play Harrison Ford's father(even though they're only separated by 14 years in real life).

27. Annie Savoy- "Bull Durham"(1988) A sexy Susan Sarandon is confident and fully formed as a baseball groupie in Ron Shelton's seminal sports comedy.

26. Eddie Valiant- "Who Framed Roger Rabbit"(1988) Thank the movie gods that Harrison Ford, Chevy Chase, Bill Murray, and Eddie Murphy didn't want to hang out in Toontown. It allowed Bob Hoskins to be a part of everyone's childhood.

25(tie). Madison/Ariel- "Splash", "The Little Mermaid"(1984,1989) I had a hard time choosing between the two great '80s mermaids. Then I remembered that I don't have to.

23,24. Hoke/Miss Daisy- "Driving Miss Daisy"(1989) Jessica Tandy and Morgan Freeman warmed my heart in 1989's Best Picture. Spike Lee is an asshole.

22. Baby Houseman- "Dirty Dancing"(1987) This is Jennifer Grey, pre-nose job, and her summer in the Catskills was a sleeper hit if there ever was one.

21. Will Graham- "Manhunter"(1986) William Petersen is easily the best version of this intense FBI profiler(sorry, Edward Norton).

20. Julius Benedict- "Twins"(1988) We don't talk enough about the gentle giant that made women and children love Arnold too, in this Ivan Reitman rewatchable.

19. Del Griffith- "Planes, Trains, & Automobiles"(1987) John Candy's homeless shower curtain ring salesman is a Thanksgiving tradition.

18. Charlie Babbit- "Rain Man"(1988) An honorable mention goes out to the horny Joel Goodsen from "Risky Business", but I'm giving this spot to the shady car dealer that loudly announced Tom Cruise's arrival as a real actor.

17. Angela De Marco- "Married to the Mob"(1988) Michelle Pfeiffer should have been nominated for her endearing, energetic Italian princess in Jonathan Demme's cable classic.

16. Joanne Stayton- "Overboard"(1987) Speaking of cable classics, Goldie Hawn revealed on the 30th anniversary of this Garry Marshall romcom that her amnesiac rich-bitch is her most cherished role among fans.

15. Mac Sledge- "Tender Mercies"(1983) Robert Duvall doesn't trust happiness. Neither do I, but that's no reason to go on ignoring his crusty cowboy that tries to build a better life.

14. Rick 'Wild Thing' Vaughn- "Major League"(1989) Charlie Sheen's best film role? Personal troubles aside, Cleveland's cool, four-eyed pitcher still makes my heart sing.

13. Roger Rabbit- "Who Framed Roger Rabbit"(1988) I still can't believe they never made a sequel.

12. Wayne Szalinski- "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids"(1989) Rick Moranis is said to be coming out of retirement to play this zany inventor again. I hope you have Disney+.

11. Egon Spengler- "Ghostbusters I and II"(1984,1989) Harold Ramis was the brains behind the seventh-biggest hit of the '80s(Dan Aykroyd's initial pitch needed a more disciplined writer), and his grandkids picked up his proton pack for a 2021 revival.

10. Jonathan Mardukas- "Midnight Run"(1988) Put the cigarette out, and enjoy Charles Grodin's fussy mob accountant next time you get the chance.

9. Conan- "Conan the Barbarian", "Conan the Destroyer"(1982,1984) Arnold Schwarzenegger swings a sword in his first significant film role. Men all over the world rejoice.

8. Elvira Hancock- "Scarface"(1983) A 24 year old Michelle Pfeiffer gets minted in Miami. Thank the movie gods that Brian De Palma and Al Pacino never knew about "Grease 2".

7. Lorraine Baines McFly- "Back to the Future Part I and II"(1985,1989) We've still got the hots for Marty McFly's Mom. Lea Thompson should've been nominated.

5,6. Jack Cates and Reggie Hammond- "48 Hrs."(1982) Eddie Murphy and Nick Nolte are forever linked in the minds of everyone that had cable in the '80s and '90s. Walter Hill's biggest hit was originally intended for Clint Eastwood and Richard Pryor. Some things just work out for the best. Put the kids to bed, because there's a new sheriff in town and political correctness doesn't exist yet. There should've been a third.

4. Terry Silver- "The Karate Kid Part III"(1989) Speaking of cable in the 1990s, you probably saw this guy on there once or twice. Or 300 times. The real founder of the Cobra Kai dojo has such strong cult villain status, that the creators of "Cobra Kai" couldn't wait to give Thomas Ian Griffith a call. He would've had Steven Seagal's career in a more just world. From his slicked back ponytail to his maniacal laughter and his macho Quicksilver method, Terry is just a ton of fun.

3. John Kreese- "The Karate Kid Part I-III"(1984,1986,1989) Fear does not exist on this blog. I wonder how many people didn't sign up for karate classes because of Marty Kove. A Vietnam veteran with an intense fixation on competition, Kreese couldn't have been played with as much relish by anyone other than Victor on "Cagney & Lacey"(shout out to the saga's unsung hero, director John Avildsen). Sweep the leg. We have no problem with that.

2. Johnny Lawrence- "The Karate Kid Part I and II"(1984,1986) Hollywood slept on Billy Zabka. Lawrence may have lost Elisabeth Shue and the '84 AV title, but arguably won in the long run. This guy is making me less afraid of my 50s, as he teaches today's kids how to not be a pussy. Johnny's old-school vigor and '80s obsessions are a priceless part of the revival that started in 2018 and exceeded all expectations. This blonde bully should've had a bigger career, but better late than never.

1. Daniel La Russo- "The Karate Kid Part I-III"(1984,1986,1989) Alright, I admit. This blog is really an elaborate apology to the two-time All Valley champion and star of "Cobra Kai" for leaving him off of my first list of the greatest '80s characters. I grew up with this skinny kid from New Jersey, and was there for every short-lived romance and karate battle that befell Miyagi-Do's #1 student. That's why he's #1 on this list. Another reason is that Ralph Macchio is the pride of Long Island(my home), and his renewed success on Netflix is a really nice thing during these trying times. From a teenage Rocky Balboa to an ageless 21st Century mentor, Mr. Miyagi would surely be proud.