You can't erase Danielle Harris and Busta Rhymes and Rob Zombie from the Myers' archives, as much as we may like to. John Carpenter had NO idea what he was starting when he painted that Captain Kirk mask white and unleashed hell on sleepy suburbia. It's Halloween, so join me as I recap all the highs and lows of the original slasher icon.
"Halloween"(1978)
If Laurie Strode wasn't already the preeminent horror heroine, she certainly is now, and Vivian Leigh's daughter owes her longevity to the onscreen events of October 31, 1978(Jamie Lee was only nineteen). John Carpenter may not have fully lived up to his above-the-title hype, but he made one of the greatest horror films ever, and that's just one of the facts of life. A textbook example of filmmaking economy, Carpenter maximized the potential of his $300,000 budget during a month-long shoot that would etch his name on any list of the genre's innovators. It's hard to believe there was ever a time when the idea of a silent psychopath stalking teenagers was fresh and hip. "Halloween" towers above it's imitators(I'm looking at you, Jason) and deserves it's lofty status in late '70s cinema.
I can't decide what's creepier- a Donald Pleasence monologue or the bone-chilling score that Carpenter composed himself. Alfred Hitchcock had to have known that he could no longer compete, after packed theaters across the country witnessed the fate of Laurie's friends(P.J. Soles, Nancy Loomis). Is Michael Myers possessed by the Devil? 'The Shape' is definitely not human. The $47 million domestic box office left audiences clamoring for more. Be careful what you wish for.
"Halloween II"(1981)
Carpenter and cowriter/producer Debra Hill were coerced into writing this direct continuation, before handing directing duties over to Rick Rosenthal. It should be noted that the duo were unsure of a sequel's actual merit, beyond making everyone involved richer(hooray for capitalism!). The existence of two "Friday the 13th" films made Myers' second massacre rather redundant. Yes, the stage was set for the 1980s slasher-thon, where every late night kill was a little less fun than the last one. The horror landscape was settling into a pitifully predictable pattern, and the hospital-set "Halloween II" can't be classified as much more than a guilty pleasure.
A maturing Jamie Lee Curtis ran away with her Final Girl fame, and reinvented herself as a comedy star("Trading Places" and "A Fish Called Wanda" both succeeded, critically and commercially). Michael Myers would just have to menace somebody else, but not before taking an unexpected hiatus.
"Halloween III: Season of the Witch"(1982)
Wait a minute, what do you mean Michael ISN'T in this?! Carpenter and Hill, on-board as producers only, pitched an anthology series of Halloween-themed horror films to financiers Irwin Yablans and Moustapha Akkad. A cool concept, that was abandoned almost immediately, following the scant ticket sales for "Season of the Witch"("Creepshow" made more money that November). Honestly, I'll take "III" and it's sinister Silver Shamrock masks over most of the Myers flicks. Originality goes a long way with me. I can't be alone in thinking that the nubile Stacey Nelkin should have been more than an obscure TV actress. Let's hear some love for horror vet Tom Atkins. Don't skip over this one.
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| He's back. |
"Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers"(1988)
Michael Myers returned for this tenth anniversary celebration, because we couldn't let Freddy and Jason frighten up ALL the money. Moustapha Akkad now had full ownership and control of the franchise, and enlisted aptly-named director Dwight Little for a back-to-basics approach that echoed the first two films. Fan favorite Danielle Harris enters the picture as Laurie Strode's seven-year old daughter Jamie Lloyd(?), our petrified new protagonist.
For what it's worth, "4" is generally considered one of the saga's better sequels. Translation- it's not AS terrible as the next few films you're going to read about. It doesn't make me scramble for the remote control as quickly. This movie was designed to doze off during, when it starts to get dark early, after sleepily muttering "Why does the mask look so shitty?" It's the celluloid equivalent of a midnight fast food stop. There's just no stopping Michael Myers.
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers"(1989)
This foul fifth installment was a cash grab if there ever was one. Rushed into production the moment "H4" opened at #1, Akkad was hellbent on unleashing Myers one more time before the '80s were over. You see, the clock was ticking on the slasher subgenre- "Friday the 13th Part VIII" and "A Nightmare on Elm Street 5" were both universally panned just a few months earlier. "Revenge" was so tepidly received in Oct '89, that it barely got an international release. Only Danielle Harris could muster any enthusiasm for it(if anyone cares, the fourth film's cliffhanger ending is ignored). This may be the worst "Halloween" movie.
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| The end of one career, the start of another. |
"Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers"(1995)
"Enough of this Michael Myers bullshit!" My feelings exactly. Six years later, number six introduces the concept that the malevolent spirit of MM was conjured up by some sort of ancient evil- a potentially interesting idea that the movie does absolutely nothing with. Paul Rudd can laugh about his stay in Haddonfield now, because he's a Marvel superhero. A decrepit Donald Pleasence looked ready to die any minute in what was predictably his final paycheck, I mean, film appearance.
There's no point in paying attention to a timeline when the filmmakers have such little respect for their own mythology. Jamie Lloyd is killed early on and it has no impact whatsoever, because the studio had to lowball a departing Danielle Harris(J.C. Brandy took the $1,000). Fortunately, David Fincher's "Seven" was in theaters in the fall of '95 to rescue us from "Curse". This film's poor reception, even by the series' low standards, inspired the release of a Producer's Cut, which I won't be bothering with. You can't polish a turd.
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| She's back. |
"Halloween H20: 20 Years Later"(1998)
A 39 year old Jamie Lee Curtis, whose career peaked in James Cameron's "True Lies", made a surprising return to her roots for this 20th anniversary revival(is this a silly title, or what?). I shouldn't have to tell you that Wes Craven's self-referential "Scream" movies reinvigorated the entire genre during Clinton's second term. It's very fitting that the first slasher got to bask in it's glow. If only the movie had been good.
Director Steve Miner did "Friday the 13th Parts II and III" and it shows. An 85 minute runtime indicates a rush-job, not that we wanted this thing to be any longer. Josh Hartnett, LL Cool J and Michelle Williams are here(one of them is a future four-time Oscar nominee). Sometimes, MM is the strongest man on Earth, and other times he's physically bested by a female. Despite all of this, $55 million was generated in the Michael Myers-Laurie Strode rematch. We would get another.
"Halloween: Resurrection"(2002)
So, let me get this straight- Busta Rhymes is the surviving hero?! Jamie Lee Curtis is "killed" in the psych ward opening, to goad gullible viewers into this godawful resurrection. A group of clueless webcam college kids are waiting for Michael in his abandoned childhood home. I think we all know how that goes. Tyra Banks looks amazing on her Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover, but her 'acting' makes her another unwelcome presence. "Halloween II" vet Rick Rosenthal directed "Resurrection", and makes it very clear why most of his career has been spent in television. Why was this movie released in July? Why was it released at all?? This may be the worst "Halloween" movie.
"Halloween"(2007)
Enter Rob Zombie. Profitable junk like "House of 1000 Corpses" and "The Devil's Rejects" led Bob Weinstein(Akkad tragically died in 2005) to select the grungy shock rocker-turned-indie film maverick as the franchise's new front-man. Embarking on the remake route, Zombie adds an ugly backstory to his Haddonfield(Michael had a rough home life) that foolishly forgoes the original's brilliant simplicity. Scout Taylor-Compton never made me care about Laurie's teen trauma, while Malcolm McDowell's Dr. Loomis didn't make anybody forget about series stalwart Donald Pleasence and his tan trench-coat.
It's safe to say that the gainfully-employed Sheri Moon(Mrs. Myers) married well. Fans supported Zombie's efforts(in theory, at least) enough to get a traditional sequel made before the end of the decade. Does his music suck as much as his directing style? Because I wouldn't know about that.
"Halloween II"(2009)
I'm not trying to lower your faith in humanity, when I serve up this reminder that there are TWO movies called "Halloween II". I think all of Myers' victims in the RZ duology are even more loathsome than the murderous man himself. This is what you get when you hand autonomy to Rob Zombie- one of the most gruesome, unpleasant films in recent memory. That's not a compliment(although, the gory reemergence of a grown-up, bare-breasted Danielle Harris was a nice touch). A mask-less Michael was forced into another long break, as the internet gave Robert Cummings the beating he deserved. This may be the worst "Halloween" movie.
"Halloween"(2018)
It's been suggested by some media(and by Curtis herself) that the blockbuster success of "Halloween '18" may be due to it's timeliness, perhaps a cathartic response to the MeToo movement. I guess Michael Myers is just another evil white guy that can't keep his hands to himself. I, for one, don't want to see JLC as a crazy, gun-toting grandma. All this movie has is nostalgia. But writer/director David Gordon Green and 21st Century upstart Blumhouse Productions deserve credit for realizing the power of it, and for turning $10 million into $255 million worldwide. There's something strangely soothing in knowing that Michael and Laurie still haven't reconciled after forty years and seven Presidents.
Yes, this is the best "Halloween" since the original. And no, that doesn't mean much. Emboldened by it's box office, Green will lead the premiere horror movie brand into the 2020s. I thought about hiding in the basement away from Michael, but there's really no point. He WILL find me. And you. Until next time.
"Halloween Kills"(2021) It's poetic that Michael Myers' theatrical return coincided with that of James Bond, because he's officially the horror equivalent of 007. I'm pleased to report that I watched this mess on Peacock because I can't imagine actually paying for it. Delayed for a year by Covid, "Kills" has a few good ones for franchise die-hards- a group of firefighters and an old black couple are among the record high body count(27). If the 2018 film left you expecting some deeper examination of Haddonfield's residents and Michael's otherworldly evil(he's clearly superhuman again), you're going to be very disappointed. I wanted better for Anthony Michael Hall. A hysterical Jamie Lee Curtis, hospital-bound again as in 1981, appears for no more than fifteen minutes. Trick or treat.
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