A Critical Reevaluation- Last Action Hero

 

 

 

  

   Twenty-five years ago today, Arnold Schwarzenegger came back down to Earth, in his first real 'flop'. If you weren't alive or old enough to remember the year of Bill Clinton's inauguration, allow me to give a brief pop culture history lesson- "Predator", "Twins", "Total Recall", "Kindergarten Cop", and "Terminator 2: Judgement Day" were all released in the five years that preceded this would-be blockbuster action spoof. In short, Arnie was as hot as can be, and there was no reason to think that he would cool off in the summer of '93. But the Austrian Oak's removal from the President's Council on Physical Fitness wouldn't be the 46 year old icon's only indignity, and there was simply no way of predicting how big(or how good) "Jurassic Park" would be. That's right, a resurgent Steven Spielberg's franchise starter was a genuine phenomenon, grossing $356 million domestically, denying Jack Slater the rollicking sequels he got in the movie world. It's easy to play Monday morning quarterback, and say that going head-to-head with a rampaging T-Rex was one of the dumbest moves in recent Hollywood history. However, Spielberg looked vulnerable after 1991's "Hook", and a cigar-chomping Schwarzenegger was as sturdy as his celebrated T-800. The enormous popularity and success of James Cameron's epic sequel "T2", left the public with expectations that "Last Action Hero" couldn't possibly meet, despite it's surface similarities(a kid sidekick and a rock soundtrack). John McTiernan's movie is not without it's charms, though, and I'm here to rescue it from the cinematic scrap-heap, where it resides with the likes of "Hudson Hawk", "Judge Dredd" and "Waterworld". Danny Madigan didn't deserve such a fate, and here's why.

   It's amazing to think that Shane "Lethal Weapon" Black and John "Die Hard" McTiernan aligned for a joint effort that underwhelmed with a paltry $52 million in U.S. theaters. With Ryan Reynolds regularly breaking the fourth wall(and box office records) and taking the piss out of the superhero genre as Marvel maverick Deadpool, it's conceivable that "Last Action Hero" would have performed much better in 2018, than it did in 1993. Just imagine Dwayne Johnson remaking this "Jumanji"-style(I want a profit percentage if it happens before HE enters politics, too). This was pre-Seth McFarlane, and I don't think audiences were ready to laugh at all the '80s era gun-blazing and macho posturing that they had been eating with a spoon since, well, Dirty Harry told that street punk how unlucky he was. Schwarzenegger devotees were expecting another straight blast of mayhem, and weren't prepared to see his winning formula tweaked quite this much. "Hero" has a lot of fun with genre conventions, and it's quality supporting cast has rarely been discussed- Mercedes Ruehl, Robert Prosky, Anthony Quinn, Art Carney, Tom Noonan, Frank McRae, F. Murray Abraham(he killed Mozart). In a more just world, Charles Dance would be a household name. Far more successful films haven't had half this much acting talent on set.

   Arnold does Hamlet? Stallone as the Terminator?? I feel that clever touches like these alone, keeps "LAH" off of the shit list.



   The film is far from perfect- we never really know the rules for using Houdini's magic movie ticket, that cartoon cat belonged on the cutting room floor and the action scenes, while serviceable, needed more pop(we should have seen that helicopter blow up onscreen). Otherwise, there's a lot to like here. McTiernan nicely captures the quiet joy of being a young movie buff, a position that I'm sure more than a few of my readers can relate to. We'd rather be in a darkened screening room than just about anywhere else, and "Hero" is really a love letter to cinema(there's even a highfalutin nod to 1957's "The Seventh Seal"). Arnold's demise as a screen force was inevitable, and as he piled up losers like "Jingle All the Way", "End of Days", and "The 6th Day" in the later years, he must have been praying for a project as good as "Last Action Hero". Jack Slater, and his humorously limited wardrobe, isn't his greatest creation, but he stands head and shoulders above at least 50% of the big guy's filmography. Now hop into the backseat of his Caddy and help him comb L.A.(and NY) for colorful baddies. You always know where to find him.