"Star Trek Generations"(1994)
Friday, December 30, 2016
Franchise Review- Star Trek 1979-1991
I. Let me start by saying that I am NOT a Trekkie, so I'm approaching these films from the position of neutral observer. Objectivity becomes difficult when you've been knee-deep in mythology for decades. That makes me uniquely qualified to judge the quality of the "Trek" movies without the emotional attachments that the hardcore fan-base brings.
"Star Trek: The Motion Picture"(1979)
Contrary to popular opinion, I've determined that the original "Trek" movie is among the best ones for one very simple reason- IT ACTUALLY FEELS LIKE A MOVIE. Let's face it, "Trek" can get pretty stagy and claustrophobic.
"Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan"(1982)
I can't imagine a 2010s teenager taking Ricardo Mantalban and his man-boobs seriously. This is where being a Trekkie becomes a detriment.
"Star Trek III: The Search for Spock"(1984)
Christopher Lloyd's Klingon boss is among the saga's better villains
"Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home"(1986)
"Star Trek V: The Final Frontier"(1989)
"Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country"(1991)
"Star Trek: The Motion Picture"(1979)
Contrary to popular opinion, I've determined that the original "Trek" movie is among the best ones for one very simple reason- IT ACTUALLY FEELS LIKE A MOVIE. Let's face it, "Trek" can get pretty stagy and claustrophobic.
"Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan"(1982)
I can't imagine a 2010s teenager taking Ricardo Mantalban and his man-boobs seriously. This is where being a Trekkie becomes a detriment.
"Star Trek III: The Search for Spock"(1984)
Christopher Lloyd's Klingon boss is among the saga's better villains
"Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home"(1986)
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| "Oh, shit. It's the Bat signal". |
"Star Trek V: The Final Frontier"(1989)
"Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country"(1991)
Monday, December 12, 2016
The Christmas Comedy Conundrum
Christmas brings many 'gifts' that we didn't ask for. The impending winter months are depressing enough without Hollywood leaving at least two lumps of coal in my stocking every year without fail. We're a LONG way away from "Home Alone 1 and 2". I'm leaving the fireplace on if Billy Bob Thornton tries to come down the chimney a third time. Tim Allen got a trilogy, but Angelina's alcoholic ex husband sure-as-hell won't. I'd rather sit home and stare at the wall than attend Jason Bateman's "Office Christmas Party". "Love the Coopers"? I didn't even LIKE the Coopers. Fuck the Coopers. Did Vince Vaughn actually think I'd want to spend "Four Christmases" with him after "Fred Claus"?! If you had the misfortune of spending a "Christmas with the Kranks", you know exactly what I'm talking about. I vaguely recall Jonathan Taylor Thomas mimicking his TV dad in a Santa suit. I apologize for the reminder.
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| Bah Humbug. Steve Martin reached his nadir in 1994's "Mixed Nuts". |
All this Christmas crap calls attention to a much larger problem- the comedy film genre is every bit as disposable as the horror genre(and a lot scarier), and it's never been more painfully clear than in the early 21st Century. These movies have ZERO staying power, and are designed specifically to separate undemanding young idiots from their expendable income during the first two weekends of release. They might as well not even exist after that. I know what you're thinking- Chevy Chase hung up too many lights in '89 and we all had a great time. But Ben Affleck barely survived Christmas in 2004, and "Deck the Halls" and "Jingle All the Way" are among THE worst films I have ever seen. Remember when Michael Keaton turned into a snowman? It took him fifteen years to get thawed out.
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| Ernest DIDN'T save Christmas, we had a good one in spite of him. |
The movies I've mentioned are just the tip of the iceberg. This subgenre is as ugly as your uncle's reindeer sweater and less appetizing than your aunt's Christmas cookies that she got for 75% off on December 26th. I might become a Jehovah's Witness if one more witless extended sitcom with a holiday theme gets hauled into theaters. Many of these films have the nerve to inject a half-hearted message about togetherness and family values, after 90 minutes of junior high school jokes written "The Night Before" by a snickering Seth Rogen. Do me a favor and keep developing minds away from this shite if you want their futures to be merry and bright. I believe the profits of every movie that scores below 40% on RT should be turned over to the government. To tell you the truth, I never really cared all that much for that blonde BB gun brat, either. He's looking better with each passing year, though.
For the record, the greatest Christmas movie of all time stars a barefoot Bruce Willis and a whole lot of blood and bullets. 'Yippee Kai Yay'.
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
The 90 Greatest Characters of the '90s
The '90s was the coolest decade for movies. Go down the list and tell me I'm wrong. I feel bad for anybody that wasn't there, and as a film-obsessed geek that was, I feel uniquely qualified to compile this list. I tried to avoid characters based on actual historical figures(sorry, William Wallace), and limited it to three characters per actor/film(it's only fair). Now, I don't want to drag this thing out like Tarantino on the set of "Jackie Brown"(she's not on the list). Here are the 90 greatest characters of the '90s.
90. Oda Mae Brown- "Ghost"(1990)
I'll bet you didn't know that the brash voice of "The View" was(once) the highest paid black actress ever. This sassy psychic was a big reason for the "Ghost" phenomenon of 1990, her comic relief coupled with THAT clay scene helped this otherworldly romance score a staggering $217 million domestically. Whoopi is an Oscar winner, do you still think the Academy are a bunch of racists?
89. Vincent Mancini- "The Godfather Part III"(1990)
Frances Ford Coppola toyed with the idea of a fourth "Godfather" in the '90s that would star Andy Garcia as the reckless heir to the Corleone throne. It's not hard to see why. Sonny's illegitimate son is the best thing about this illegitimate(in the eyes of some) third installment.
88. Clara Clayton- "Back to the Future Part III"(1990)
Is Mary Steenburgen the best character actress in the industry? Her sweet and feisty schoolmarm made Doc Brown forget about science(for a while), and made the ageless beauty a go-to-girl for under-the-radar supporting roles.
87. Rod Tidwell- "Jerry Maguire"(1996)
"Show me the money". If you weren't around in '96, consider yourself lucky, because every idiot in the world was bellowing this phrase and dancing the Macarena. Cuba Gooding Jr.'s cocky, scene-stealing wide receiver was his career high, needless to say.
86. Sidney Prescott- "Scream", "Scream 2"(1996, 1997)
Neve Campbell may be the greatest Final Girl of all time(just don't tell Jamie Lee). She squared off with Ghostface four times and lived to tell about it, helping to revive a dormant subgenre in the process. Sidney was too smart to run up the stairs when she should be running out the door, and gave a new generation of bloodthirsty teens something to scream about.
85. Scott Calvin- "The Santa Clause"(1994)
Tim Allen parlayed his sitcom popularity into an unlikely big screen run that started with his Kris Kringle impression- the rare Christmas comedy that doesn't completely suck. Scott Calvin can slide down my chimney every Dec 24th, I'll even leave milk and cookies for the fat-ass franchise-starter.
84. John Coffey- "The Green Mile"(1999)
The late Michael Clarke Duncan broke free of his blue-collar origins to make his Hollywood dreams come true at age 42. The big guy could boast of upstaging Tom Hanks in the role of gentle giant John Coffey in Frank Darabont's OTHER prison parable. I always felt he was the best thing about it. R.I.P.
83. Blade- "Blade"(1998)
That tough tax evader Wesley Snipes got the Marvel ball rolling as this vicious vampire hunter. The Marvel Cinematic Universe was built off the back of Blade, he won't ever get the credit for killing Howard the Duck, though.
82. Karen Sisco- "Out of Sight"(1998)
This tough-talking FBI agent is Jennifer Lopez' greatest film role. I know that's not saying much, but Steve Soderbergh's romantic caper alternately restored George Clooney's cred and granted J'Lo leading lady status that five years of gossip mags and mediocre music videos would promptly ruin. Oh, well. We'll always have that hotel bar scene.
81. Wednesday Addams- "The Addams Family", "Addams Family Values"(1991, 1993)
Christina Ricci may be the original goth girl. Her deadpan deliveries stole the show in this resurrection of the '60s TV show, no small feat when Chris Lloyd and Raul Julia are on the same set. Wednesday is welcome in my living room any day of the week.
80. Lisa Rowe- "Girl, Interrupted"(1999)
Angelina Jolie is crazy, and we used to like it. Jon Voight's vivacious daughter took the world by storm at the tail end of the '90s, hijacking Winona Ryder's 'comeback' vehicle en route to tabloid tyranny. Lisa is the sociopathic leader of these hospitalized hotties. Was Jolie really acting?
79. James Bond- "Goldeneye", "Tomorrow Never Dies", "The World Is Not Enough"(1995, 1997, 1999)
Pierce Brosnan brought Bond out of the Dalton doldrums, and made the suave superspy relevant again. His 007 set box office records and seemed everyone's(second) favorite. Until Daniel Craig came along. I have a feeling we'll be shitting on him in a few years, too.
78. Bud White- "L.A. Confidential"(1997)
Three years before "Gladiator", Russell Crowe got his breakout role as a hot-headed copper in Curtis Hanson's crime drama. Crowe is a little doughy these days, I think we'd all prefer to remember when he could kick any ass in L.A. and convincingly flirt with Kim Basinger. The 1950s most formidable lawman became an instant favorite for '90s film fans.
77. Will Hunting- "Good Will Hunting"(1997)
If it wasn't for this brilliant janitor in Gus Van Sant's greatest work, there's a good chance that Jason would have never been born. Matt Damon(and his buddy Ben Affleck) spent much of the Clinton era on the outside looking in. Things changed considerably. How do you like them apples!
76. Melvin Udall- "As Good As It Gets"(1997)
Jack Nicholson's misanthropic OCD-afflicted novelist/reluctant dog-sitter reunited him with "Terms of Endearment" director James L. Brooks to land his THIRD Academy Award. Udall was a big box office hit as well, and instantly joined the crowded slate of classic Nicholson characterizations. More on that a little later.
75. Suzanne Stone- "To Die For"(1995)
This fame-obsessed small town weathergirl is Nicole Kidman's finest two hours in my opinion. I'd kill her husband in a heartbeat. Suzanne Stone helped the Aussie goddess get out from under this next guy's shadow.
74. Ethan Hunt- "Mission Impossible"(1996)
Tom Cruise's impossibly cool IMF agent is STILL thrilling audiences(coming soon- "MI 6"!). Hollywood's top gun wasn't fooling around when he decided to create a franchise to call his own. Hunt can hang with the Bournes and the Bonds, and even out-class them on occasion. He's a human highlight reel, who the hell cares about "the plot"?
73. Mitch Leary- "In the Line of Fire"(1993)
If you're going to antagonize Clint Eastwood in a movie, you'd better bring your A-game or you're not making it much further than the opening credits. John Malkovich and his plastic homemade gun were certainly up to the task in Wolfgang Peterson's crackling thriller. This would-be Presidential assassin is a master of disguise and a trained killer, he's also one of the decade's best baddies. The only question is, would Leary be the hero now?
72. Jack Ryan- "The Hunt for Red October", "Patriot Games", "Clear and Present Danger"(1990, 1992, 1994)
Tom Clancy's CIA hero was a hot property in the first half of the '90s. Alec Baldwin was booted after "October" so Harrison Ford could extend his box office reign, and he's the only guy to play this role more than once. Whether it was a Soviet sub, Irish terrorists or the Columbian cartels, Jack jumped right in the middle of all of it. We might need him now more than ever.
71. Belle- "Beauty and the Beast"(1991)
No disrespect to Emma Watson, but I prefer this Disney beauty in hand-drawn animation. Nevertheless, Belle and her Beast are getting a huge revival in 2017. The only animated movie to earn a Best Picture nomination won't be dethroned if I have anything to say about it. This is the only Belle that I'll be singing along to.
70. Keyzer Soze- "The Usual Suspects"(1995)
Some may object to Kevin Spacey's criminal mastermind ranking so low(hey, it's my blog). I share Roger Ebert's opinion that "Suspects" is significantly overrated, but I won't take anything away from Bryan Singer's celebrated ending or Spacey's standing as one of the decade's acting deities. You'll be seeing more of him.
69. Bodhi- "Point Break"(1995)
Patrick Swayze brought his trademark conviction to this bank-robbing, surfing guru in Katherine Bigelow's breakthrough. There's absolutely no winking at the camera as Bodhi waxes philosophically on the spiritual side of riding waves. The role actually made the late actor a skydiving enthusiast, and he made the jump eighty times in his life. 100% pure adrenaline.
68. Drexl Spivey- "True Romance"(1993)
That British chameleon Gary Oldman burns a hole through the screen as a slimy pimp(who thinks he's black) in Tony Scott's trash masterpiece. Has ANY character ever contributed more quotable lines with such limited screen time?
67. Phil Connors- "Groundhog Day"(1993)
This obnoxious TV weatherman is surely Bill Murray's best '90s role, maybe his best role period. Anyone that disagrees either hasn't seen him endlessly relive Feb 2nd until he gets it right or is still pissed that he didn't make Ghostbusters III instead. Phil turns Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania into his own personal playground and he gets the girl(after a couple million tries). Bill does some real acting here( a sign of things to come). Deja vu has never been this fun.
66. Derek Vineyard- "American History X"(1998)
Edward Norton became a major player with the one-two punch of "Fight Club" and this searing portrayal of a neo-Nazi skinhead. It should be noted that neither film did anything at the box office, but both have stuck around longer than most of that era's 'hits'. Vineyard's explosive diatribes have never been more potent, and I'm not certain that "X" would even get made today. Norton's Best Actor loss to Roberto Benigni indicates that we weren't all that comfortable with him back then, either.
65. Annie- "Speed", "Speed 2: Cruise Control"(1994, 1997)
Sandra Bullock drove Jan de Bont's bus over 50 mph and didn't stop till she reached her A-list destination. Annie is the ultimate girl-next-door, and an excellent showcase for Bullock's plucky appeal. She got a little annoying on that cruise ship, but nobody's perfect.
64. Tracy Flick- "Election"(1999)
Are you still wondering why Hillary Clinton lost? Nobody likes a goody two-shoes. But we DO like Reese Witherspoon's overachieving teen, she beats Ferris Bueller and put writer-director Alexander Payne on the path to perennial awards contender.
63. Mary- "There's Something About Mary"(1998)
Cameron Diaz is the biggest box office actress of all time. You can blame the Farrelly brothers(and DreamWorks Animation) for that. Our relationship with her started off really well, though. Mary is that bubbly babe that has ten guys obsessed with her at any given time. She isn't particular when it comes to hair gel brands. Stalking sometimes works, guys. Go for it.
62. Dirk Diggler- "Boogie Nights"(1997)
Mark Wahlberg won the entire world over with his naïve 1970s porn stud(his early '90s rapping/underwear modeling has since rarely been discussed). Dirk was a dream role, and I'm not sure that Marky Mark would still be making movies if he hadn't pulled a prosthetic out in front of that mirror. He's a star.
61. Sherman Klump- "The Nutty Professor"(1996)
Eddie Murphy was funnier than Jerry Lewis(yeah, I said it). It took a 400-pound fat-suit to reinvigorate the fading funnyman("The Distinguished Gentleman", anyone?) in this ribald remake, easily his most pleasing effort of the '90s. Klump and his entire clan are a comedic master-class, and Murphy would never produce this much laughter(in live-action) ever again.
60. Chili Palmer- "Get Shorty"(1995)
A post-"Pulp" John Travolta struts his stuff as a mobster that wants in the movie biz. Palmer is JT's fourth best role(it shouldn't be hard to guess the first three), he gained that distinction by breaking Dennis Farina's nose and throwing James Gandolfini down the stairs. It's too bad Chili couldn't "Be Cool" in 2005, I blame "Battlefield Earth".
59. Cher Horowitz- "Clueless"(1995)
Alicia Silverstone was the Molly Ringwald of the mid-'90s, thanks to Aerosmith and Amy Heckerling's high school sleeper hit. This matchmaking teen queen may be a virgin who can't drive, but that didn't stop every adolescent on Earth from adding her airheaded slang to their vocabulary. The sky seemed the limit for Silverstone, until she brought some "Excess Baggage" to the Batgirl suit. Ouch.
58. The Penguin- "Batman Returns"(1992)
While we're on the subject, Danny DeVito's ghastly grotesque horrified parents and Happy Meal peddlers in the summer of '92. He ate raw fish, bit a guy's nose off, led an army of underground circus freaks and wanted to kill sleeping children. Tell me again how scary Heath Ledger was.
57. Lt. Col. Frank Slade- "Scent of a Woman"(1992)
Al Pacino finally bagged that elusive Oscar for this blind, abrasive Army colonel. Few would call it his definitive work, but Slade is still a lively companion. He blew Chris O' Donnell off the screen(not that that's hard to do) during a wild weekend in New York. Five years ago, he would have taken a flamethrower to this place. Someone please give Pacino one last great role.
55, 56. Wayne and Garth- "Wayne's World", "Wayne's World 2"(1992, 1993)
This partying pair from SNL made The Blues Brothers look like your lame-ass uncles. They are the reason you think "Bohemian Rhapsody" is cool and smile whenever you think of Grey Poupon. Mike Meyers and Dana Carvey captured the hearts of a generation, and one of them went on to even greater big screen success. The other made "Master of Disguise".
53, 54. Harry and Lloyd- "Dumb and Dumber"(1994)
Another inseparable duo, Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels just might be responsible for the most beloved comedy of the '90s. The 2014 sequel(AND 2003 prequel) sullies their reputations a bit. But we always knew they were idiots.
52. William Munny- "Unforgiven"(1992)
"It's a helluva thing, killing a man. You take away all he's got. And all he's ever gonna have". Clint Eastwood's introspective gunslinger was a career-saving comeback role and a glorious return to the genre that made his name nearly three decades earlier. Munny killed women and children. And he's gonna kill Little Bill for what he did to Ned. An absolute masterpiece.
51. Curly- "City Slickers"(1991)
Another crusty cowboy from a bygone era, Jack Palance picked up an Oscar for stealing the middle portion of Billy Crystal's blockbuster mid-life crisis comedy. Curly makes a strong argument for the simple life that all those subway-riding city folk lose sight of. I heard somewhere that there's nothing like bringing in the herd, and as for the 'one thing'? You have to figure that out for yourself.
50. Col. Nathan Jessep- "A Few Good Men"(1992)
"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!" The single greatest line of the '90s? Maybe. Only one man could deliver it with as much fiery force, and you thought he was scary in "The Shining". Jessep spent his entire adult life in the Marines, and Jack couldn't have conveyed his steely conviction with any more believability. You stop your channel-surfing EVERY time he shouts down the next guy on our list, I think I'll go watch him do it right now.
49. Frank TJ Mackey- "Magnolia"(1999)
Remember when Tom Cruise was an interesting actor? He wasn't all about saving the world and exploring every anti-aging method known to man. Scientology's poster boy should have picked up the Oscar for his insanely energetic sex guru(sorry, Michael Caine but it's true). Mackey arguably made Paul Thomas Anderson's epic, no small feat in an ensemble that includes Julianne Moore, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Jason Robards.
48. Mona Lisa Vito- "My Cousin Vinny"(1992)
A 27 year old Brooklyn babe named Marisa Tomei achieved major fame as Joe Pesci's gorgeous girlfriend in 1992's sleeper hit. She's an expert in the field of automobiles. She's not a fan of deer-hunting. Her biological clock is ticking real loud. I'd love to help her with that. Jack Palance didn't read the wrong name on Oscar night, for the last time, they got this one right.
47. Agent J- "Men In Black"(1997)
Will Smith made fighting aliens look good. The Fresh Prince put on Ray-Bans and a Reservoir Dog suit and officially became a movie star as if "Independence Day" hadn't already made the case. We really loved him back then. Someone explain why Smith and Barry Sonnenfeld made "Wild Wild West" before "MIBII".
46. Mark Renton-"Trainspotting"(1996)
I would normally advise you to avoid grungy heroin addicts. Unless they're played by Ewan McGregor in a movie directed by Danny Boyle. Renton is another character that could only creep into the mainstream in the mid-'90s. He's getting a 2017 sequel, which indicates that not enough has changed. Choose life...
45. Lt. Dan Taylor- "Forrest Gump"(1994)
Gary Sinise would have had a bigger film career in a more just world. I know "CSI: Whatever" is a good gig, but the guy stole scenes from a prime Tom Hanks. How many people have done that? Lt. Dan could have been the star of his own movie and we all would have watched his wheelchair-bound antics. This character and his magic legs inspired a deep love for the military in Sinise, he's performed at bases all over the world with the Lt. Dan band. That alone puts him on the list.
44. Walter Sobchak- "The Big Lebowski"(1998)
John Goodman should have a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his unhinged Vietnam vet in this venerable Coen classic(he wasn't even nominated). His lack of formal recognition outside of "Roseanne" is enough to make Walter fly off the handle again. The cult of "Lebowski" may be better than all that, though. Goodman will be bowling and breaking car windows long after we're gone. Is this your homework, Larry?
43. Karl Childers- "Sling Blade"(1996)
Billy Bob Thornton was a late bloomer in the biz that benefitted immensely from the burgeoning indie film movement("Blade" might have been ignored just five years earlier). I'm not sure that Childers should be around children, but any proponent of quality cinema is glad he got out. You call it a sling blade, he calls it a Kaiser blade.
42. Kevin McCallister- "Home Alone", "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York"(1990, 1992)
Move over, Shirley Temple. Macaulay Culkin became the biggest child star in ages when he booby-trapped his Chicago home for two bozo burglars(sorry, Harry and Marv didn't make the cut). Two years later, he tore through NYC with similarly crowd-pleasing results. "Home Alone" was really the last hurrah for '80s comedy kingpin John Hughes, turns out he understood the minds of ten year olds, too.
41. The T-1000- "Terminator 2: Judgment Day"(1991)
Robert Patrick's liquid-metal man represents the birth of CGI in James Cameron's show-stopping sequel. To say that he's hard to kill would be an understatement. His mind-boggling morphing abilities were inconceivable when the 1984 original dropped, proof that Cameron progressed the medium quite a bit(we saw similar FX in 1989's "The Abyss"). Welcome to the '90s.
40. John Doe- "Seven"(1995)
Kevin Spacey wouldn't play David Fincher's disturbing serial killer unless it was agreed that he wouldn't be featured in any of the pre-release advertising material. The studio kept their word, and the '90s got one of it's greatest villains. The only thing we know about John Doe is that he's pure evil. People will know about this movie in the year 2095, and you know exactly why that is. "What's in the box??!!"
39. Mr. Blonde- "Reservoir Dogs"(1992)
Somehow, Michael Madsen got to be the dad in "Free Willy" after cutting a tied-up cop's ear off and dousing him in gasoline. Mr. Blonde is proof that you should never trust a guy that's been behind bars. He's probably more than a little bitter about it. Tarantino has supplied cinema with a wealth of colorful rogues, and this Stealers Wheel enthusiast is certainly one of them.
38. Daniel Hillard/Mrs. Doubtfire- "Mrs. Doubtfire"(1993)
Robin Williams pulled a "Tootsie" in his most satisfying comedy and found even bigger box office than Dustin Hoffman did a decade earlier. Daniel Hillard just wants to see his kids. Most men wouldn't go to these lengths. "Doubtfire" is delightful, and is the greatest representation of Robin's onscreen gifts. Things were so much nicer when she was around.
37. Darth Maul- "Star Wars: Episode I- The Phantom Menace"(1999)
George Lucas' first prequel has plenty of detractors, but there's ONE thing everyone liked from the moment the first trailer dropped- Ray Park's scary space devil and his double-bladed lightsaber. He killed Liam Neeson before giving Ewan McGregor a chance to prove his mettle. I know I'm not the only one that wanted more of Maul.
36. Marge Gunderson- "Fargo"(1996)
Frances McDormand's pregnant police chief is another classic Coen creation, and the polar opposite of every fictional law enforcement officer you've ever seen(and she really was pregnant!). She'll get to the bottom of this execution-type deal if she doesn't barf first. Margie's Minnesota misadventures made Joel and Ethan one of Hollywood's hottest tandems and McDormand a Best Actress winner.
35. Neil McCauley- "Heat"(1995)
So, what if you do got him boxed in? He will not hesitate. Not for a second. One of the best scenes of the decade delivered by the two titans of late 20th Century screen acting. De Niro's smooth criminal might inch him past Pacino in the Bobby vs. Al debate(you were rooting for McCauley), and we'll just pretend "Righteous Kill" never happened. Neil is so bad-ass, Val Kilmer and Tom Sizemore are his subordinates. Michael Mann made every man in America want to pull a bank job.
34. Lestat- "Interview with the Vampire"(1994)
Anne Rice was initially opposed to the normally-righteous Tom Cruise embodying her seductive bloodsucker. Then she saw the movie. Tom totally nailed Lestat at a time when he could do no wrong. Our minds start to wander when he's off-screen, no disrespect to Brad Pitt and Antonio Banderas, and Stuart Townsend didn't suck blood, he just plain sucked as Lestat in the ill-fated 2002 sequel "Queen of the Damned".
33. Ian Malcolm- "Jurassic Park", "The Lost World: Jurassic Park"(1993, 1997)
Jeff Goldblum puts his aloof super-smart guy routine to excellent use in Steven Spielberg's earth-shattering smash. Sam Neill was no match for Malcolm's mouth and all-black attire, and there was apparently only room for one man on Site B in '97. Ian was hardly a conventional hero and probably a lousy father, but I'll take the coolest mathematician ever over Chris Pratt any day.
32. "The Genie- "Aladdin"(1992)
Fun fact- Robin Williams accepted the standard fee for voice work in '92($75,000) and reportedly felt screwed by Disney when their 31st animated feature collected $216 million during the holiday season. Robin is the reason that virtually every big name actor of the last quarter-century has stood in the recording booth(presumably for A LOT more money). His Genie whirled into the zeitgeist and granted all of our wishes.
31. Little Bill Daggett- "Unforgiven"(1992)
Gene Hackman's hard-ass sheriff runs the town of Big Whiskey with an iron fist. He'll protect you from unwelcome intruders. But whose going to protect you from him? Gene is a joy to watch in Clint Eastwood's best Western, and was rightly rewarded with his second Oscar(English Bob may disagree). Hollywood surely misses Hackman, but at least we've got roles like Little Bill to go back to.
30. Mia Wallace- "Pulp Fiction"(1994)
There's a reason Marsellus Wallace's wife appears alone on the poster and the DVD cover. She's a helluva good time as long as the heroin doesn't get mistaken for cocaine. I'd give her a foot massage while watching a "Fox Force Five" marathon. Many prominent actresses were considered for Tarantino's masterwork. They couldn't dance like Uma Thurman, though.
29. Alabama Worley- "True Romance"(1993)
Patricia Arquette's classic call girl(there's a difference, you know) should have made the brassy blonde a much bigger star. She'll watch a Sonny Chiba triple feature and won't laugh when you talk enthusiastically about comic books. She'll fuck in a phone booth and doesn't shy away when you suddenly turn into a gun-toting, drug-dealing maniac. Alabama is the ultimate guy's girl, and did I mention that she's 100% monogamous? Maybe she should be a lot higher than #29.
28. Vincent Coccotti- "True Romance"(1993)
While we're on Tarantino, we should get Chris Walken's stone-cold mob enforcer out of the way, because he doesn't like waiting. The idiosyncratic star cemented his reputation as a one-scene wonder in that chilly Detroit trailer. Who else could scare the hell out of Dennis Hopper? This guy is Tony Soprano's boss, for god's sake. Tony Scott's trademark close-ups will have you believing Coccotti just might be the devil himself. A lesser movie would have shoehorned him into the finale. I don't think my heart could take it.
27. Jack Dawson- "Titanic"(1997)
A 23 year old Leonardo DiCaprio was a one-man boy band following the release of James Cameron's gigantic boat movie. It's hard to describe the hysteria to someone that wasn't there, but 'Leo-Mania' was an actual thing. Every preteen girl in the world(and quite a few of their moms) wanted this starving artist on their wall. Leo's pin-up boy appeal made his subsequent Scorsese-led segue in 'serious actor' land all the more impressive(although "Gilbert Grape" fans already knew what he could do). That 'King of the World' proclamation was mighty prophetic. We'll never let go, Jack.
26. Edward Scissorhands- "Edward Scissorhands"(1990)
Johnny Depp was a 26 year old TV hunk with an uncertain future when he first met "Batman" director Tim Burton. The two ended up having a lot in common, and one of Hollywood's most fabled friendships was born(they would make seven more movies together). "Scissorhands" is where it ALL began though, and is probably the truest expression of their offbeat brilliance. Edward didn't need words to make women cry.
25. Catwoman/Selina Kyle- "Batman Returns"
You can have Harley Quinn. Michelle Pfeiffer's shiny sex bomb is the best version of Selina 'Catwoman' Kyle there EVER was or EVER will be. Anne Hathaway knows it. Sadly, Michelle P cracked that whip only once. She would have surely been sealed into that outfit six more times if "Returns" came out today.
24. Ace Ventura- "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective", "Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls"(1994, 1995)
Jim Carrey became the new king of comedy thanks to this wacky pet detective. His '94 debut had 'BOMB' written all over it before it's January release. It turned out that the elastic "In Living Color" star was a cut above the rest. No high school hallway was safe from an Ace impression(trust me, I was there), but Carrey had more restraint than we give him credit for. An inferior comic would have run this character into the ground.
23. Samuel Gerard- "The Fugitive", "U.S. Marshalls"(1993, 1998)
Tommy Lee Jones stole "The Fugitive" right out from under Harrison Ford. I'm not sure that was anybody's intention. Gerard was the good guy too, and this dogged Federal Marshall was a magnetic presence during his wildly popular manhunt. TLJ parlayed his Best Supporting Actor Oscar into an inferior spin-off. Maybe he did need Ford after all.
21, 22. Thelma and Louise- "Thelma and Louise"(1991)
Is this the greatest movie to ever feature two female protagonists? Wrack your brain and try to think of a better one(you can't). Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis made history in Ridley Scott's road movie, and you can't have one without the other. They packed up their '66 T-bird and bailed out on the lousy men in their lives en route to becoming feminist icons. No would-be rapist, arrogant cop or crude truck driver was safe. We need more strong women on screen.
20. Max Cady- "Cape Fear"(1991)
De Niro's tattooed and terrifying ex-con might have landed the method man another Oscar if Lecter hadn't landed that very same year. Cady is now a sad reminder of the electricity that Bobby D once brought to the screen before easy comedic roles beckoned. Nobody was laughing on that boat ride. Juliette Lewis lost her innocence and Ileana Douglas lost her cheek. There's a reason Scorsese's intense remake is on cable every single day.
19. Buzz Lightyear- "Toy Story", "Toy Story 2"(1995, 1999)
Tim Allen's space ranger is still delighting millions of children worldwide(my two year old nephew included). He didn't think he was a child's plaything in '95, but fully embraced the role in the 1999 sequel that was WAY too good to go straight-to-video. Whether you're stuck in Sid's room or the ominous apartment of an unscrupulous toy collector, Buzz may be the best back-up in history. Now bring on "Toy Story 4".
18. Dr. Evil- "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery", Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me"(1997, 1999)
Mike Myers secured his comic legacy with THREE unforgettable '90s characters, with two of them appearing in the same series. Just when you thought it couldn't get better than Wayne Campbell, "Austin Powers" came out of nowhere and made much more than ONE MILLION dollars. The 1999 sequel was amazingly among the decade's top twenty earners with $205 million, and it's safe to say that Dr. Evil and his pinky were at least half the reason for that.
17. Austin Powers- "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery", "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me"(1997, 1999)
Myers' shagadelic superspy comes next because you really can't separate the two. "Powers" pilfered every Bond convention you can think of to great comedic effect and recreated the 'Swinging 'Sixties' for everyone that wasn't there. That Swedish penis enlarger pump wasn't his. Sure, we all got sick of the character and his catchphrases, but we're talking about the late '90s here, and few would argue that Austin wasn't an awesome addition to the comedy landscape. Liz Hurley and Heather Graham? Yeah, baby, yeah.
16. Rose DeWitt Bukater- "Titanic"(1996)
Kate Winslet aggressively campaigned for the role of this doomed ocean liner's lovely survivor(James Cameron was said to be strongly considering Gwyneth Paltrow). I think we're all happy with the way things turned out. Rose's innate likability kept us in her corner as she goes from first class to third, her love for Leo enduring an iceberg and Billy Zane. "Titanic" is this generation's "Gone with the Wind", and Winslet won't ever be forgotten because of it. Her and Jack could have taken turns on that wood, though.
15. Vivian Ward- "Pretty Woman"(1990)
Julia Roberts was, without question, the biggest actress of the '90s. Her benign brand slayed everything in it's path, and it all started with Garry Marshall's enormously successful Cinderella story. The hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold hook was never put to more profitable use, and a 23 year old Roberts was a megastar before she even strolled down Rodeo Drive. For my money, Vivian Ward thrashes Holly Golighty. She was worth a lot more than $3,000.
14. Neo- "The Matrix"(1999)
Keanu Reeves earned action icon status after Will Smith passed on playing 'The One'. We probably wouldn't be talking about the Wachowskis' pre-millennial mind-fuck if those plans had come to fruition. Keanu's blank slate acting style has never been put to better use, he's the textbook definition of a physical performer. Neo was just about the coolest movie hero of the '90s, 'Bullet time' made Arnold, Sly and Bruce look like yesterday's news. Reeves is the reason you weren't fawning over "The Phantom Menace" a month later. I have a feeling we haven't made our last trip through "The Matrix".
13. Annie Wilkes- "Misery"(1990)
Can you think of anything more horrifying than spending a winter with this deranged former nurse? Author Paul Sheldon(James Caan) would have been better off freezing to death in that car wreck than being 'rescued' by his number one fan. She has a major passive-aggressive streak going on and gets unusually excited over cheesy romance novels. Annie won't curse, but she WILL tie you to your bed and take a sledgehammer to your legs. She'll do it out of love, though. Sheldon never gets over the experience(who would?), as Kathy Bates goes from respected stage actress to movie star and picked up the Best Actress Oscar for bringing Stephen King's literary creation to nightmarish big screen life.
12. Catherine Tramell- "Basic Instinct"(1992)
She's evil. She's brilliant. A 34 year old Sharon Stone went places no other mainstream actress would go in 1992 as this icy blonde bisexual murder suspect. Catherine is always in control even when she's being interrogated by a room full of cops. Come to think of it, Nick Curran(Michael Douglas) may be the worst hero in movie history. He's completely under her spell, not that I blame him. An icepick to the chest might be a small price to pay for a couple nights with this alluring author. The less said about her 2006 return, the better, but Paul Verhoeven's taboo-buster remains one of the best erotic thriller of all time.
11. Lester Burnham- "American Beauty"(1999)
This desperate suburbanite scored Kevin Spacey his second Oscar in four years. Someone must explain why he isn't in movies much anymore. You think marriage, fatherhood, steady employment and stability equals happiness? Guess again. None of that compares to potentially plowing your seventeen-year old daughter's best friend. Burnham realizes that the best time of his life was when he had no responsibilities, and unapologetically recreates his own personal utopia. If masturbating in the shower is the highlight of your day, you may have to start thinking about some drastic changes. Quit that 9 to 5 nonsense. Start working out. Buy some pot and the car you've always wanted. Lester rules.
10. Clarice Starling- "The Silence of the Lambs"(1991)
Jodie Foster had to fight for the role of Thomas Harris' young FBI trainee even after her '88 Best Actress Oscar triumph for "The Accused". Director Jonathan Demme preferred Michelle Pfeiffer. I think we all do, however it's difficult to imagine another actress giving Starling as much quiet strength and vulnerability. Foster's dynamic exchanges with Anthony Hopkins' Hannibal Lecter(he's coming, I promise) would result in the '91 Best Actress Oscar, not to mention the Picture/Director combo. Jodie will always be best known for putting Buffalo Bill in a body bag, and wisely passed on the 2001 sequel. No disrespect to Julianne Moore, but when I say hello to Clarice, it's Foster on my 52 inch.
9. Vincent Vega- "Pulp Fiction"(1994)
It's hard to believe that so many famous roles nearly went to other actors. Miramax wanted Daniel-Day Lewis, and deemed Travolta a has-been. Fortunately, Quentin Tarantino didn't mind the fact that John was getting upstaged by talking dogs(he was working on "Look Who's Talking Now"), because the man was still a major talent and the whole world was about to be reminded of that. I shouldn't have to tell anybody that JT made the biggest pre-Robert Downey Jr. comeback the biz had ever seen as a long-haired hit-man with a fondness for heroin needles and(giving) foot massages. We shouldn't like Vincent as much as we do, but he's a compelling conversationalist, cheeseburger enthusiast and a champion on the dance floor. "The Vega Brothers" may be the greatest movie never made.
8. Tommy- "Goodfellas"(1990)
Another thug that needs no introduction, Joe Pesci's pint-sized powerhouse is part of the reason you've watched Marty's mob masterpiece more times than you can count. Tommy represents every "tough guy" that ever got lured into the promised land of easy money and fleeting power. Who wouldn't want a wad of cash that you didn't have to work for, and endless nights in dimly bars with your equally immoral buddies? Admit it, you've daydreamed about beating some respect into your enemies, Billy Batts-style. Pesci captures all of the underworld unpredictability so perfectly, that his age hardly matters(Joe was well into his forties, the real Tommy didn't live to see thirty). He may not have been here to amuse you, but few characters from the '90s(or ANY decade) did it more.
7. Red Redding- "The Shawshank Redemption"(1994)
Morgan Freeman's soothing vocals, calm demeanor and dignified presence will live forever courtesy of Frank Darabont's palatial prison drama. Red was written as an old Irishman in Stephen King's novella, but it's now impossible to imagine anyone other than Freeman narrating this life-affirming all-timer. Red is the reason "Redemption" was on TBS/TNT every other weekend(back when they still showed movies), with all due respect to Tim Robbins, and is the only jailbird I'll ever trust. This film's stature at this point is truly astounding, you probably know somebody that puts "Shawshank" at the top of their list of favorite movies, not bad for a no-hoper.
6. Woody- "Toy Story", "Toy Story 2"(1995, 1999)
Pixar's pull-string cowboy may be Tom Hanks' most popular role and I'm not pulling your leg. That's REALLY saying something as you'll learn in a bit. If you're old enough to remember hand-drawn animation, you know what a paradigm shift Andy's favorite toy was. Pinocchio was officially replaced the moment Randy Newman's "You've Got a Friend in Me" montage was over. Woody's friendly face is never going away, no matter how old we get. With all due respect to Dory, she wouldn't even have a sea to swim in if Woody hadn't led an army of plastic army men or survived the rigors of Pizza Planet. He's got a lifelong friend in me.
5. The Dude- "The Big Lebowski"(1998)
Jeff Bridges' middle-aged slacker wasn't SUPPOSED to make this list. Or inspire a holiday. Or an online religion. It just happened, man. I'm sure you all know the story- "Lebowski" bombed in March '98, only to be passionately embraced by an ever-growing fan-base a few years later in the afterlife of cable and home video. There's something strangely uplifting about this character's complete lack of anything even remotely resembling ambition. The Dude's unpretentiousness is a breath of fresh air in these frenzied times, and gives us something to(dare I say) aspire to. Doesn't an afternoon of bowling sound better than going to work tomorrow? The Dude would surely abide.
4. Jules Winfield- "Pulp Fiction"(1994)
I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Tarantino has gifted film fans with as many great characters as George Lucas, we've talked about quite a few of them here. But there's one that stands a little taller than the rest. Sam Jackson and QT are like John Wayne and John Ford or De Niro and Scorsese or Johnny Depp and Tim Burton. What I'm trying to say is they work really fucking well together. Jules and his jheri curl are funny and frightening in equal measure, and it's a crime that SLJ didn't walk out of that diner with the Oscar(sorry, Martin Landau). The guy was born to be a movie bad-ass, and he owes much of his sizeable success in the twenty-plus years since to those awesomely embellished Bible passages and his wallet. The one that says 'Bad Mother-fucker' on it. Be cool? It might as well be this movie's mission statement.
3. Hannibal Lecter- "The Silence of the Lambs"(1991)
Gene Hackman, Jack Nicholson and Sean Connery all turned it down. I'd like to take this time to thank them. A 52 year old Welsh journeyman named Anthony Hopkins had all but given up on movie stardom despite twenty years of steady film work. Then he finally got a role he could really sink his teeth into. Hopkins gave us cinema's most unnerving killer since Norman Bates after a decade of redundant slasher villains. By the time Hannibal had an old friend for dinner, we completely forgot about Brian Cox's creepy cannibal in 1986's "Manhunter". Sir Anthony reprised the good doctor twice with mixed results, but the Lecter from "Lambs" never needed to serve up Ray Liotta's brains as an encore to make it to the forefront of silver screen psychopaths.
2. Forrest Gump- "Forrest Gump"(1994)
When future generations want to know what Tom Hanks was all about(he's the biggest actor of the '90s, for all you laymen out there), "Gump" is the movie that will answer that question, just like "It's a Wonderful Life" has come to define his 1940s counterpart Jimmy Stewart. The risk of embarrassment was quite high when Hanks hit that park bench with little more than box of chocolates and an ill-fitting white suit. But Forrest was impossibly endearing, as he runs through thirty years of important 20th Century American history, literally and figuratively. The idea of a ping pong-playing mama's boy with a low I.Q., a Southern drawl and a lucrative shrimpin' business being the FOURTH most successful film in a decade that saw the release of over 3,000 movies would be impossible to believe if that wasn't exactly what happened. Life is like that, I guess.
1. Tyler Durden- "Fight Club"(1999)
Brad Pitt needs a pick-me-up these days, so I'm putting his sinewy, soap-making slave-master in the top spot. Unlike in previous decades, this wasn't so cut-and-dry, but Durden is number one because he encapsulates what '90s cinema was really all about- it was a shinier version of the '70s, a daring pre-politically-correct/pre-9/11 free-for-all the likes of which may never be seen again. I don't remember too many superheroes running around. I can't see Project Mayhem sitting too well with Fox News. "Fight Club" is the first movie that will be mentioned in Brad's obituaries, and I'm secure enough in my masculinity to admit that this angry anarchist and his abs are sexier than most women. I know I'm not the only one that wanted the ridiculously-tailored Tyler to be real, and somebody had to shake all of these emasculated man-boys out of their quiet complacency. The things you own end up owning you. Durden's words are truer now than they were in '99. I could quote him all day, but I have a soul-crushing consumerist lifestyle to get back to. Remember, you are not your job...
90. Oda Mae Brown- "Ghost"(1990)
I'll bet you didn't know that the brash voice of "The View" was(once) the highest paid black actress ever. This sassy psychic was a big reason for the "Ghost" phenomenon of 1990, her comic relief coupled with THAT clay scene helped this otherworldly romance score a staggering $217 million domestically. Whoopi is an Oscar winner, do you still think the Academy are a bunch of racists?
89. Vincent Mancini- "The Godfather Part III"(1990)
Frances Ford Coppola toyed with the idea of a fourth "Godfather" in the '90s that would star Andy Garcia as the reckless heir to the Corleone throne. It's not hard to see why. Sonny's illegitimate son is the best thing about this illegitimate(in the eyes of some) third installment.
88. Clara Clayton- "Back to the Future Part III"(1990)
Is Mary Steenburgen the best character actress in the industry? Her sweet and feisty schoolmarm made Doc Brown forget about science(for a while), and made the ageless beauty a go-to-girl for under-the-radar supporting roles.
87. Rod Tidwell- "Jerry Maguire"(1996)
"Show me the money". If you weren't around in '96, consider yourself lucky, because every idiot in the world was bellowing this phrase and dancing the Macarena. Cuba Gooding Jr.'s cocky, scene-stealing wide receiver was his career high, needless to say.
86. Sidney Prescott- "Scream", "Scream 2"(1996, 1997)
Neve Campbell may be the greatest Final Girl of all time(just don't tell Jamie Lee). She squared off with Ghostface four times and lived to tell about it, helping to revive a dormant subgenre in the process. Sidney was too smart to run up the stairs when she should be running out the door, and gave a new generation of bloodthirsty teens something to scream about.
85. Scott Calvin- "The Santa Clause"(1994)
Tim Allen parlayed his sitcom popularity into an unlikely big screen run that started with his Kris Kringle impression- the rare Christmas comedy that doesn't completely suck. Scott Calvin can slide down my chimney every Dec 24th, I'll even leave milk and cookies for the fat-ass franchise-starter.
84. John Coffey- "The Green Mile"(1999)
The late Michael Clarke Duncan broke free of his blue-collar origins to make his Hollywood dreams come true at age 42. The big guy could boast of upstaging Tom Hanks in the role of gentle giant John Coffey in Frank Darabont's OTHER prison parable. I always felt he was the best thing about it. R.I.P.
83. Blade- "Blade"(1998)
That tough tax evader Wesley Snipes got the Marvel ball rolling as this vicious vampire hunter. The Marvel Cinematic Universe was built off the back of Blade, he won't ever get the credit for killing Howard the Duck, though.
82. Karen Sisco- "Out of Sight"(1998)
This tough-talking FBI agent is Jennifer Lopez' greatest film role. I know that's not saying much, but Steve Soderbergh's romantic caper alternately restored George Clooney's cred and granted J'Lo leading lady status that five years of gossip mags and mediocre music videos would promptly ruin. Oh, well. We'll always have that hotel bar scene.
81. Wednesday Addams- "The Addams Family", "Addams Family Values"(1991, 1993)
Christina Ricci may be the original goth girl. Her deadpan deliveries stole the show in this resurrection of the '60s TV show, no small feat when Chris Lloyd and Raul Julia are on the same set. Wednesday is welcome in my living room any day of the week.
80. Lisa Rowe- "Girl, Interrupted"(1999)
Angelina Jolie is crazy, and we used to like it. Jon Voight's vivacious daughter took the world by storm at the tail end of the '90s, hijacking Winona Ryder's 'comeback' vehicle en route to tabloid tyranny. Lisa is the sociopathic leader of these hospitalized hotties. Was Jolie really acting?
79. James Bond- "Goldeneye", "Tomorrow Never Dies", "The World Is Not Enough"(1995, 1997, 1999)
Pierce Brosnan brought Bond out of the Dalton doldrums, and made the suave superspy relevant again. His 007 set box office records and seemed everyone's(second) favorite. Until Daniel Craig came along. I have a feeling we'll be shitting on him in a few years, too.
78. Bud White- "L.A. Confidential"(1997)
Three years before "Gladiator", Russell Crowe got his breakout role as a hot-headed copper in Curtis Hanson's crime drama. Crowe is a little doughy these days, I think we'd all prefer to remember when he could kick any ass in L.A. and convincingly flirt with Kim Basinger. The 1950s most formidable lawman became an instant favorite for '90s film fans.
77. Will Hunting- "Good Will Hunting"(1997)
If it wasn't for this brilliant janitor in Gus Van Sant's greatest work, there's a good chance that Jason would have never been born. Matt Damon(and his buddy Ben Affleck) spent much of the Clinton era on the outside looking in. Things changed considerably. How do you like them apples!
76. Melvin Udall- "As Good As It Gets"(1997)
Jack Nicholson's misanthropic OCD-afflicted novelist/reluctant dog-sitter reunited him with "Terms of Endearment" director James L. Brooks to land his THIRD Academy Award. Udall was a big box office hit as well, and instantly joined the crowded slate of classic Nicholson characterizations. More on that a little later.
75. Suzanne Stone- "To Die For"(1995)
This fame-obsessed small town weathergirl is Nicole Kidman's finest two hours in my opinion. I'd kill her husband in a heartbeat. Suzanne Stone helped the Aussie goddess get out from under this next guy's shadow.
74. Ethan Hunt- "Mission Impossible"(1996)
Tom Cruise's impossibly cool IMF agent is STILL thrilling audiences(coming soon- "MI 6"!). Hollywood's top gun wasn't fooling around when he decided to create a franchise to call his own. Hunt can hang with the Bournes and the Bonds, and even out-class them on occasion. He's a human highlight reel, who the hell cares about "the plot"?
73. Mitch Leary- "In the Line of Fire"(1993)
If you're going to antagonize Clint Eastwood in a movie, you'd better bring your A-game or you're not making it much further than the opening credits. John Malkovich and his plastic homemade gun were certainly up to the task in Wolfgang Peterson's crackling thriller. This would-be Presidential assassin is a master of disguise and a trained killer, he's also one of the decade's best baddies. The only question is, would Leary be the hero now?
72. Jack Ryan- "The Hunt for Red October", "Patriot Games", "Clear and Present Danger"(1990, 1992, 1994)
Tom Clancy's CIA hero was a hot property in the first half of the '90s. Alec Baldwin was booted after "October" so Harrison Ford could extend his box office reign, and he's the only guy to play this role more than once. Whether it was a Soviet sub, Irish terrorists or the Columbian cartels, Jack jumped right in the middle of all of it. We might need him now more than ever.
71. Belle- "Beauty and the Beast"(1991)
No disrespect to Emma Watson, but I prefer this Disney beauty in hand-drawn animation. Nevertheless, Belle and her Beast are getting a huge revival in 2017. The only animated movie to earn a Best Picture nomination won't be dethroned if I have anything to say about it. This is the only Belle that I'll be singing along to.
70. Keyzer Soze- "The Usual Suspects"(1995)
Some may object to Kevin Spacey's criminal mastermind ranking so low(hey, it's my blog). I share Roger Ebert's opinion that "Suspects" is significantly overrated, but I won't take anything away from Bryan Singer's celebrated ending or Spacey's standing as one of the decade's acting deities. You'll be seeing more of him.
69. Bodhi- "Point Break"(1995)
Patrick Swayze brought his trademark conviction to this bank-robbing, surfing guru in Katherine Bigelow's breakthrough. There's absolutely no winking at the camera as Bodhi waxes philosophically on the spiritual side of riding waves. The role actually made the late actor a skydiving enthusiast, and he made the jump eighty times in his life. 100% pure adrenaline.
68. Drexl Spivey- "True Romance"(1993)
That British chameleon Gary Oldman burns a hole through the screen as a slimy pimp(who thinks he's black) in Tony Scott's trash masterpiece. Has ANY character ever contributed more quotable lines with such limited screen time?
67. Phil Connors- "Groundhog Day"(1993)
This obnoxious TV weatherman is surely Bill Murray's best '90s role, maybe his best role period. Anyone that disagrees either hasn't seen him endlessly relive Feb 2nd until he gets it right or is still pissed that he didn't make Ghostbusters III instead. Phil turns Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania into his own personal playground and he gets the girl(after a couple million tries). Bill does some real acting here( a sign of things to come). Deja vu has never been this fun.
66. Derek Vineyard- "American History X"(1998)
Edward Norton became a major player with the one-two punch of "Fight Club" and this searing portrayal of a neo-Nazi skinhead. It should be noted that neither film did anything at the box office, but both have stuck around longer than most of that era's 'hits'. Vineyard's explosive diatribes have never been more potent, and I'm not certain that "X" would even get made today. Norton's Best Actor loss to Roberto Benigni indicates that we weren't all that comfortable with him back then, either.
65. Annie- "Speed", "Speed 2: Cruise Control"(1994, 1997)
Sandra Bullock drove Jan de Bont's bus over 50 mph and didn't stop till she reached her A-list destination. Annie is the ultimate girl-next-door, and an excellent showcase for Bullock's plucky appeal. She got a little annoying on that cruise ship, but nobody's perfect.
64. Tracy Flick- "Election"(1999)
Are you still wondering why Hillary Clinton lost? Nobody likes a goody two-shoes. But we DO like Reese Witherspoon's overachieving teen, she beats Ferris Bueller and put writer-director Alexander Payne on the path to perennial awards contender.
63. Mary- "There's Something About Mary"(1998)
Cameron Diaz is the biggest box office actress of all time. You can blame the Farrelly brothers(and DreamWorks Animation) for that. Our relationship with her started off really well, though. Mary is that bubbly babe that has ten guys obsessed with her at any given time. She isn't particular when it comes to hair gel brands. Stalking sometimes works, guys. Go for it.
62. Dirk Diggler- "Boogie Nights"(1997)
Mark Wahlberg won the entire world over with his naïve 1970s porn stud(his early '90s rapping/underwear modeling has since rarely been discussed). Dirk was a dream role, and I'm not sure that Marky Mark would still be making movies if he hadn't pulled a prosthetic out in front of that mirror. He's a star.
61. Sherman Klump- "The Nutty Professor"(1996)
Eddie Murphy was funnier than Jerry Lewis(yeah, I said it). It took a 400-pound fat-suit to reinvigorate the fading funnyman("The Distinguished Gentleman", anyone?) in this ribald remake, easily his most pleasing effort of the '90s. Klump and his entire clan are a comedic master-class, and Murphy would never produce this much laughter(in live-action) ever again.
60. Chili Palmer- "Get Shorty"(1995)
A post-"Pulp" John Travolta struts his stuff as a mobster that wants in the movie biz. Palmer is JT's fourth best role(it shouldn't be hard to guess the first three), he gained that distinction by breaking Dennis Farina's nose and throwing James Gandolfini down the stairs. It's too bad Chili couldn't "Be Cool" in 2005, I blame "Battlefield Earth".
59. Cher Horowitz- "Clueless"(1995)
Alicia Silverstone was the Molly Ringwald of the mid-'90s, thanks to Aerosmith and Amy Heckerling's high school sleeper hit. This matchmaking teen queen may be a virgin who can't drive, but that didn't stop every adolescent on Earth from adding her airheaded slang to their vocabulary. The sky seemed the limit for Silverstone, until she brought some "Excess Baggage" to the Batgirl suit. Ouch.
58. The Penguin- "Batman Returns"(1992)
While we're on the subject, Danny DeVito's ghastly grotesque horrified parents and Happy Meal peddlers in the summer of '92. He ate raw fish, bit a guy's nose off, led an army of underground circus freaks and wanted to kill sleeping children. Tell me again how scary Heath Ledger was.
57. Lt. Col. Frank Slade- "Scent of a Woman"(1992)
Al Pacino finally bagged that elusive Oscar for this blind, abrasive Army colonel. Few would call it his definitive work, but Slade is still a lively companion. He blew Chris O' Donnell off the screen(not that that's hard to do) during a wild weekend in New York. Five years ago, he would have taken a flamethrower to this place. Someone please give Pacino one last great role.
55, 56. Wayne and Garth- "Wayne's World", "Wayne's World 2"(1992, 1993)
This partying pair from SNL made The Blues Brothers look like your lame-ass uncles. They are the reason you think "Bohemian Rhapsody" is cool and smile whenever you think of Grey Poupon. Mike Meyers and Dana Carvey captured the hearts of a generation, and one of them went on to even greater big screen success. The other made "Master of Disguise".
53, 54. Harry and Lloyd- "Dumb and Dumber"(1994)
Another inseparable duo, Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels just might be responsible for the most beloved comedy of the '90s. The 2014 sequel(AND 2003 prequel) sullies their reputations a bit. But we always knew they were idiots.
52. William Munny- "Unforgiven"(1992)
"It's a helluva thing, killing a man. You take away all he's got. And all he's ever gonna have". Clint Eastwood's introspective gunslinger was a career-saving comeback role and a glorious return to the genre that made his name nearly three decades earlier. Munny killed women and children. And he's gonna kill Little Bill for what he did to Ned. An absolute masterpiece.
51. Curly- "City Slickers"(1991)
Another crusty cowboy from a bygone era, Jack Palance picked up an Oscar for stealing the middle portion of Billy Crystal's blockbuster mid-life crisis comedy. Curly makes a strong argument for the simple life that all those subway-riding city folk lose sight of. I heard somewhere that there's nothing like bringing in the herd, and as for the 'one thing'? You have to figure that out for yourself.
50. Col. Nathan Jessep- "A Few Good Men"(1992)
"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!" The single greatest line of the '90s? Maybe. Only one man could deliver it with as much fiery force, and you thought he was scary in "The Shining". Jessep spent his entire adult life in the Marines, and Jack couldn't have conveyed his steely conviction with any more believability. You stop your channel-surfing EVERY time he shouts down the next guy on our list, I think I'll go watch him do it right now.
49. Frank TJ Mackey- "Magnolia"(1999)
Remember when Tom Cruise was an interesting actor? He wasn't all about saving the world and exploring every anti-aging method known to man. Scientology's poster boy should have picked up the Oscar for his insanely energetic sex guru(sorry, Michael Caine but it's true). Mackey arguably made Paul Thomas Anderson's epic, no small feat in an ensemble that includes Julianne Moore, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Jason Robards.
48. Mona Lisa Vito- "My Cousin Vinny"(1992)
A 27 year old Brooklyn babe named Marisa Tomei achieved major fame as Joe Pesci's gorgeous girlfriend in 1992's sleeper hit. She's an expert in the field of automobiles. She's not a fan of deer-hunting. Her biological clock is ticking real loud. I'd love to help her with that. Jack Palance didn't read the wrong name on Oscar night, for the last time, they got this one right.
47. Agent J- "Men In Black"(1997)
Will Smith made fighting aliens look good. The Fresh Prince put on Ray-Bans and a Reservoir Dog suit and officially became a movie star as if "Independence Day" hadn't already made the case. We really loved him back then. Someone explain why Smith and Barry Sonnenfeld made "Wild Wild West" before "MIBII".
46. Mark Renton-"Trainspotting"(1996)
I would normally advise you to avoid grungy heroin addicts. Unless they're played by Ewan McGregor in a movie directed by Danny Boyle. Renton is another character that could only creep into the mainstream in the mid-'90s. He's getting a 2017 sequel, which indicates that not enough has changed. Choose life...
45. Lt. Dan Taylor- "Forrest Gump"(1994)
Gary Sinise would have had a bigger film career in a more just world. I know "CSI: Whatever" is a good gig, but the guy stole scenes from a prime Tom Hanks. How many people have done that? Lt. Dan could have been the star of his own movie and we all would have watched his wheelchair-bound antics. This character and his magic legs inspired a deep love for the military in Sinise, he's performed at bases all over the world with the Lt. Dan band. That alone puts him on the list.
44. Walter Sobchak- "The Big Lebowski"(1998)
John Goodman should have a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his unhinged Vietnam vet in this venerable Coen classic(he wasn't even nominated). His lack of formal recognition outside of "Roseanne" is enough to make Walter fly off the handle again. The cult of "Lebowski" may be better than all that, though. Goodman will be bowling and breaking car windows long after we're gone. Is this your homework, Larry?
43. Karl Childers- "Sling Blade"(1996)
Billy Bob Thornton was a late bloomer in the biz that benefitted immensely from the burgeoning indie film movement("Blade" might have been ignored just five years earlier). I'm not sure that Childers should be around children, but any proponent of quality cinema is glad he got out. You call it a sling blade, he calls it a Kaiser blade.
42. Kevin McCallister- "Home Alone", "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York"(1990, 1992)
Move over, Shirley Temple. Macaulay Culkin became the biggest child star in ages when he booby-trapped his Chicago home for two bozo burglars(sorry, Harry and Marv didn't make the cut). Two years later, he tore through NYC with similarly crowd-pleasing results. "Home Alone" was really the last hurrah for '80s comedy kingpin John Hughes, turns out he understood the minds of ten year olds, too.
41. The T-1000- "Terminator 2: Judgment Day"(1991)
Robert Patrick's liquid-metal man represents the birth of CGI in James Cameron's show-stopping sequel. To say that he's hard to kill would be an understatement. His mind-boggling morphing abilities were inconceivable when the 1984 original dropped, proof that Cameron progressed the medium quite a bit(we saw similar FX in 1989's "The Abyss"). Welcome to the '90s.
40. John Doe- "Seven"(1995)
Kevin Spacey wouldn't play David Fincher's disturbing serial killer unless it was agreed that he wouldn't be featured in any of the pre-release advertising material. The studio kept their word, and the '90s got one of it's greatest villains. The only thing we know about John Doe is that he's pure evil. People will know about this movie in the year 2095, and you know exactly why that is. "What's in the box??!!"
39. Mr. Blonde- "Reservoir Dogs"(1992)
Somehow, Michael Madsen got to be the dad in "Free Willy" after cutting a tied-up cop's ear off and dousing him in gasoline. Mr. Blonde is proof that you should never trust a guy that's been behind bars. He's probably more than a little bitter about it. Tarantino has supplied cinema with a wealth of colorful rogues, and this Stealers Wheel enthusiast is certainly one of them.
38. Daniel Hillard/Mrs. Doubtfire- "Mrs. Doubtfire"(1993)
Robin Williams pulled a "Tootsie" in his most satisfying comedy and found even bigger box office than Dustin Hoffman did a decade earlier. Daniel Hillard just wants to see his kids. Most men wouldn't go to these lengths. "Doubtfire" is delightful, and is the greatest representation of Robin's onscreen gifts. Things were so much nicer when she was around.
37. Darth Maul- "Star Wars: Episode I- The Phantom Menace"(1999)
George Lucas' first prequel has plenty of detractors, but there's ONE thing everyone liked from the moment the first trailer dropped- Ray Park's scary space devil and his double-bladed lightsaber. He killed Liam Neeson before giving Ewan McGregor a chance to prove his mettle. I know I'm not the only one that wanted more of Maul.
36. Marge Gunderson- "Fargo"(1996)
Frances McDormand's pregnant police chief is another classic Coen creation, and the polar opposite of every fictional law enforcement officer you've ever seen(and she really was pregnant!). She'll get to the bottom of this execution-type deal if she doesn't barf first. Margie's Minnesota misadventures made Joel and Ethan one of Hollywood's hottest tandems and McDormand a Best Actress winner.
35. Neil McCauley- "Heat"(1995)
So, what if you do got him boxed in? He will not hesitate. Not for a second. One of the best scenes of the decade delivered by the two titans of late 20th Century screen acting. De Niro's smooth criminal might inch him past Pacino in the Bobby vs. Al debate(you were rooting for McCauley), and we'll just pretend "Righteous Kill" never happened. Neil is so bad-ass, Val Kilmer and Tom Sizemore are his subordinates. Michael Mann made every man in America want to pull a bank job.
34. Lestat- "Interview with the Vampire"(1994)
Anne Rice was initially opposed to the normally-righteous Tom Cruise embodying her seductive bloodsucker. Then she saw the movie. Tom totally nailed Lestat at a time when he could do no wrong. Our minds start to wander when he's off-screen, no disrespect to Brad Pitt and Antonio Banderas, and Stuart Townsend didn't suck blood, he just plain sucked as Lestat in the ill-fated 2002 sequel "Queen of the Damned".
33. Ian Malcolm- "Jurassic Park", "The Lost World: Jurassic Park"(1993, 1997)
Jeff Goldblum puts his aloof super-smart guy routine to excellent use in Steven Spielberg's earth-shattering smash. Sam Neill was no match for Malcolm's mouth and all-black attire, and there was apparently only room for one man on Site B in '97. Ian was hardly a conventional hero and probably a lousy father, but I'll take the coolest mathematician ever over Chris Pratt any day.
32. "The Genie- "Aladdin"(1992)
Fun fact- Robin Williams accepted the standard fee for voice work in '92($75,000) and reportedly felt screwed by Disney when their 31st animated feature collected $216 million during the holiday season. Robin is the reason that virtually every big name actor of the last quarter-century has stood in the recording booth(presumably for A LOT more money). His Genie whirled into the zeitgeist and granted all of our wishes.
31. Little Bill Daggett- "Unforgiven"(1992)
Gene Hackman's hard-ass sheriff runs the town of Big Whiskey with an iron fist. He'll protect you from unwelcome intruders. But whose going to protect you from him? Gene is a joy to watch in Clint Eastwood's best Western, and was rightly rewarded with his second Oscar(English Bob may disagree). Hollywood surely misses Hackman, but at least we've got roles like Little Bill to go back to.
30. Mia Wallace- "Pulp Fiction"(1994)
There's a reason Marsellus Wallace's wife appears alone on the poster and the DVD cover. She's a helluva good time as long as the heroin doesn't get mistaken for cocaine. I'd give her a foot massage while watching a "Fox Force Five" marathon. Many prominent actresses were considered for Tarantino's masterwork. They couldn't dance like Uma Thurman, though.
29. Alabama Worley- "True Romance"(1993)
Patricia Arquette's classic call girl(there's a difference, you know) should have made the brassy blonde a much bigger star. She'll watch a Sonny Chiba triple feature and won't laugh when you talk enthusiastically about comic books. She'll fuck in a phone booth and doesn't shy away when you suddenly turn into a gun-toting, drug-dealing maniac. Alabama is the ultimate guy's girl, and did I mention that she's 100% monogamous? Maybe she should be a lot higher than #29.
28. Vincent Coccotti- "True Romance"(1993)
While we're on Tarantino, we should get Chris Walken's stone-cold mob enforcer out of the way, because he doesn't like waiting. The idiosyncratic star cemented his reputation as a one-scene wonder in that chilly Detroit trailer. Who else could scare the hell out of Dennis Hopper? This guy is Tony Soprano's boss, for god's sake. Tony Scott's trademark close-ups will have you believing Coccotti just might be the devil himself. A lesser movie would have shoehorned him into the finale. I don't think my heart could take it.
27. Jack Dawson- "Titanic"(1997)
A 23 year old Leonardo DiCaprio was a one-man boy band following the release of James Cameron's gigantic boat movie. It's hard to describe the hysteria to someone that wasn't there, but 'Leo-Mania' was an actual thing. Every preteen girl in the world(and quite a few of their moms) wanted this starving artist on their wall. Leo's pin-up boy appeal made his subsequent Scorsese-led segue in 'serious actor' land all the more impressive(although "Gilbert Grape" fans already knew what he could do). That 'King of the World' proclamation was mighty prophetic. We'll never let go, Jack.
26. Edward Scissorhands- "Edward Scissorhands"(1990)
Johnny Depp was a 26 year old TV hunk with an uncertain future when he first met "Batman" director Tim Burton. The two ended up having a lot in common, and one of Hollywood's most fabled friendships was born(they would make seven more movies together). "Scissorhands" is where it ALL began though, and is probably the truest expression of their offbeat brilliance. Edward didn't need words to make women cry.
25. Catwoman/Selina Kyle- "Batman Returns"
You can have Harley Quinn. Michelle Pfeiffer's shiny sex bomb is the best version of Selina 'Catwoman' Kyle there EVER was or EVER will be. Anne Hathaway knows it. Sadly, Michelle P cracked that whip only once. She would have surely been sealed into that outfit six more times if "Returns" came out today.
24. Ace Ventura- "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective", "Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls"(1994, 1995)
Jim Carrey became the new king of comedy thanks to this wacky pet detective. His '94 debut had 'BOMB' written all over it before it's January release. It turned out that the elastic "In Living Color" star was a cut above the rest. No high school hallway was safe from an Ace impression(trust me, I was there), but Carrey had more restraint than we give him credit for. An inferior comic would have run this character into the ground.
23. Samuel Gerard- "The Fugitive", "U.S. Marshalls"(1993, 1998)
Tommy Lee Jones stole "The Fugitive" right out from under Harrison Ford. I'm not sure that was anybody's intention. Gerard was the good guy too, and this dogged Federal Marshall was a magnetic presence during his wildly popular manhunt. TLJ parlayed his Best Supporting Actor Oscar into an inferior spin-off. Maybe he did need Ford after all.
21, 22. Thelma and Louise- "Thelma and Louise"(1991)
Is this the greatest movie to ever feature two female protagonists? Wrack your brain and try to think of a better one(you can't). Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis made history in Ridley Scott's road movie, and you can't have one without the other. They packed up their '66 T-bird and bailed out on the lousy men in their lives en route to becoming feminist icons. No would-be rapist, arrogant cop or crude truck driver was safe. We need more strong women on screen.
20. Max Cady- "Cape Fear"(1991)
De Niro's tattooed and terrifying ex-con might have landed the method man another Oscar if Lecter hadn't landed that very same year. Cady is now a sad reminder of the electricity that Bobby D once brought to the screen before easy comedic roles beckoned. Nobody was laughing on that boat ride. Juliette Lewis lost her innocence and Ileana Douglas lost her cheek. There's a reason Scorsese's intense remake is on cable every single day.
19. Buzz Lightyear- "Toy Story", "Toy Story 2"(1995, 1999)
Tim Allen's space ranger is still delighting millions of children worldwide(my two year old nephew included). He didn't think he was a child's plaything in '95, but fully embraced the role in the 1999 sequel that was WAY too good to go straight-to-video. Whether you're stuck in Sid's room or the ominous apartment of an unscrupulous toy collector, Buzz may be the best back-up in history. Now bring on "Toy Story 4".
18. Dr. Evil- "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery", Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me"(1997, 1999)
Mike Myers secured his comic legacy with THREE unforgettable '90s characters, with two of them appearing in the same series. Just when you thought it couldn't get better than Wayne Campbell, "Austin Powers" came out of nowhere and made much more than ONE MILLION dollars. The 1999 sequel was amazingly among the decade's top twenty earners with $205 million, and it's safe to say that Dr. Evil and his pinky were at least half the reason for that.
17. Austin Powers- "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery", "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me"(1997, 1999)
Myers' shagadelic superspy comes next because you really can't separate the two. "Powers" pilfered every Bond convention you can think of to great comedic effect and recreated the 'Swinging 'Sixties' for everyone that wasn't there. That Swedish penis enlarger pump wasn't his. Sure, we all got sick of the character and his catchphrases, but we're talking about the late '90s here, and few would argue that Austin wasn't an awesome addition to the comedy landscape. Liz Hurley and Heather Graham? Yeah, baby, yeah.
16. Rose DeWitt Bukater- "Titanic"(1996)
Kate Winslet aggressively campaigned for the role of this doomed ocean liner's lovely survivor(James Cameron was said to be strongly considering Gwyneth Paltrow). I think we're all happy with the way things turned out. Rose's innate likability kept us in her corner as she goes from first class to third, her love for Leo enduring an iceberg and Billy Zane. "Titanic" is this generation's "Gone with the Wind", and Winslet won't ever be forgotten because of it. Her and Jack could have taken turns on that wood, though.
15. Vivian Ward- "Pretty Woman"(1990)
Julia Roberts was, without question, the biggest actress of the '90s. Her benign brand slayed everything in it's path, and it all started with Garry Marshall's enormously successful Cinderella story. The hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold hook was never put to more profitable use, and a 23 year old Roberts was a megastar before she even strolled down Rodeo Drive. For my money, Vivian Ward thrashes Holly Golighty. She was worth a lot more than $3,000.
14. Neo- "The Matrix"(1999)
Keanu Reeves earned action icon status after Will Smith passed on playing 'The One'. We probably wouldn't be talking about the Wachowskis' pre-millennial mind-fuck if those plans had come to fruition. Keanu's blank slate acting style has never been put to better use, he's the textbook definition of a physical performer. Neo was just about the coolest movie hero of the '90s, 'Bullet time' made Arnold, Sly and Bruce look like yesterday's news. Reeves is the reason you weren't fawning over "The Phantom Menace" a month later. I have a feeling we haven't made our last trip through "The Matrix".
13. Annie Wilkes- "Misery"(1990)
Can you think of anything more horrifying than spending a winter with this deranged former nurse? Author Paul Sheldon(James Caan) would have been better off freezing to death in that car wreck than being 'rescued' by his number one fan. She has a major passive-aggressive streak going on and gets unusually excited over cheesy romance novels. Annie won't curse, but she WILL tie you to your bed and take a sledgehammer to your legs. She'll do it out of love, though. Sheldon never gets over the experience(who would?), as Kathy Bates goes from respected stage actress to movie star and picked up the Best Actress Oscar for bringing Stephen King's literary creation to nightmarish big screen life.
12. Catherine Tramell- "Basic Instinct"(1992)
She's evil. She's brilliant. A 34 year old Sharon Stone went places no other mainstream actress would go in 1992 as this icy blonde bisexual murder suspect. Catherine is always in control even when she's being interrogated by a room full of cops. Come to think of it, Nick Curran(Michael Douglas) may be the worst hero in movie history. He's completely under her spell, not that I blame him. An icepick to the chest might be a small price to pay for a couple nights with this alluring author. The less said about her 2006 return, the better, but Paul Verhoeven's taboo-buster remains one of the best erotic thriller of all time.
11. Lester Burnham- "American Beauty"(1999)
This desperate suburbanite scored Kevin Spacey his second Oscar in four years. Someone must explain why he isn't in movies much anymore. You think marriage, fatherhood, steady employment and stability equals happiness? Guess again. None of that compares to potentially plowing your seventeen-year old daughter's best friend. Burnham realizes that the best time of his life was when he had no responsibilities, and unapologetically recreates his own personal utopia. If masturbating in the shower is the highlight of your day, you may have to start thinking about some drastic changes. Quit that 9 to 5 nonsense. Start working out. Buy some pot and the car you've always wanted. Lester rules.
10. Clarice Starling- "The Silence of the Lambs"(1991)
Jodie Foster had to fight for the role of Thomas Harris' young FBI trainee even after her '88 Best Actress Oscar triumph for "The Accused". Director Jonathan Demme preferred Michelle Pfeiffer. I think we all do, however it's difficult to imagine another actress giving Starling as much quiet strength and vulnerability. Foster's dynamic exchanges with Anthony Hopkins' Hannibal Lecter(he's coming, I promise) would result in the '91 Best Actress Oscar, not to mention the Picture/Director combo. Jodie will always be best known for putting Buffalo Bill in a body bag, and wisely passed on the 2001 sequel. No disrespect to Julianne Moore, but when I say hello to Clarice, it's Foster on my 52 inch.
9. Vincent Vega- "Pulp Fiction"(1994)
It's hard to believe that so many famous roles nearly went to other actors. Miramax wanted Daniel-Day Lewis, and deemed Travolta a has-been. Fortunately, Quentin Tarantino didn't mind the fact that John was getting upstaged by talking dogs(he was working on "Look Who's Talking Now"), because the man was still a major talent and the whole world was about to be reminded of that. I shouldn't have to tell anybody that JT made the biggest pre-Robert Downey Jr. comeback the biz had ever seen as a long-haired hit-man with a fondness for heroin needles and(giving) foot massages. We shouldn't like Vincent as much as we do, but he's a compelling conversationalist, cheeseburger enthusiast and a champion on the dance floor. "The Vega Brothers" may be the greatest movie never made.
8. Tommy- "Goodfellas"(1990)
Another thug that needs no introduction, Joe Pesci's pint-sized powerhouse is part of the reason you've watched Marty's mob masterpiece more times than you can count. Tommy represents every "tough guy" that ever got lured into the promised land of easy money and fleeting power. Who wouldn't want a wad of cash that you didn't have to work for, and endless nights in dimly bars with your equally immoral buddies? Admit it, you've daydreamed about beating some respect into your enemies, Billy Batts-style. Pesci captures all of the underworld unpredictability so perfectly, that his age hardly matters(Joe was well into his forties, the real Tommy didn't live to see thirty). He may not have been here to amuse you, but few characters from the '90s(or ANY decade) did it more.
7. Red Redding- "The Shawshank Redemption"(1994)
Morgan Freeman's soothing vocals, calm demeanor and dignified presence will live forever courtesy of Frank Darabont's palatial prison drama. Red was written as an old Irishman in Stephen King's novella, but it's now impossible to imagine anyone other than Freeman narrating this life-affirming all-timer. Red is the reason "Redemption" was on TBS/TNT every other weekend(back when they still showed movies), with all due respect to Tim Robbins, and is the only jailbird I'll ever trust. This film's stature at this point is truly astounding, you probably know somebody that puts "Shawshank" at the top of their list of favorite movies, not bad for a no-hoper.
6. Woody- "Toy Story", "Toy Story 2"(1995, 1999)
Pixar's pull-string cowboy may be Tom Hanks' most popular role and I'm not pulling your leg. That's REALLY saying something as you'll learn in a bit. If you're old enough to remember hand-drawn animation, you know what a paradigm shift Andy's favorite toy was. Pinocchio was officially replaced the moment Randy Newman's "You've Got a Friend in Me" montage was over. Woody's friendly face is never going away, no matter how old we get. With all due respect to Dory, she wouldn't even have a sea to swim in if Woody hadn't led an army of plastic army men or survived the rigors of Pizza Planet. He's got a lifelong friend in me.
5. The Dude- "The Big Lebowski"(1998)
Jeff Bridges' middle-aged slacker wasn't SUPPOSED to make this list. Or inspire a holiday. Or an online religion. It just happened, man. I'm sure you all know the story- "Lebowski" bombed in March '98, only to be passionately embraced by an ever-growing fan-base a few years later in the afterlife of cable and home video. There's something strangely uplifting about this character's complete lack of anything even remotely resembling ambition. The Dude's unpretentiousness is a breath of fresh air in these frenzied times, and gives us something to(dare I say) aspire to. Doesn't an afternoon of bowling sound better than going to work tomorrow? The Dude would surely abide.
4. Jules Winfield- "Pulp Fiction"(1994)
I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Tarantino has gifted film fans with as many great characters as George Lucas, we've talked about quite a few of them here. But there's one that stands a little taller than the rest. Sam Jackson and QT are like John Wayne and John Ford or De Niro and Scorsese or Johnny Depp and Tim Burton. What I'm trying to say is they work really fucking well together. Jules and his jheri curl are funny and frightening in equal measure, and it's a crime that SLJ didn't walk out of that diner with the Oscar(sorry, Martin Landau). The guy was born to be a movie bad-ass, and he owes much of his sizeable success in the twenty-plus years since to those awesomely embellished Bible passages and his wallet. The one that says 'Bad Mother-fucker' on it. Be cool? It might as well be this movie's mission statement.
3. Hannibal Lecter- "The Silence of the Lambs"(1991)
Gene Hackman, Jack Nicholson and Sean Connery all turned it down. I'd like to take this time to thank them. A 52 year old Welsh journeyman named Anthony Hopkins had all but given up on movie stardom despite twenty years of steady film work. Then he finally got a role he could really sink his teeth into. Hopkins gave us cinema's most unnerving killer since Norman Bates after a decade of redundant slasher villains. By the time Hannibal had an old friend for dinner, we completely forgot about Brian Cox's creepy cannibal in 1986's "Manhunter". Sir Anthony reprised the good doctor twice with mixed results, but the Lecter from "Lambs" never needed to serve up Ray Liotta's brains as an encore to make it to the forefront of silver screen psychopaths.
2. Forrest Gump- "Forrest Gump"(1994)
When future generations want to know what Tom Hanks was all about(he's the biggest actor of the '90s, for all you laymen out there), "Gump" is the movie that will answer that question, just like "It's a Wonderful Life" has come to define his 1940s counterpart Jimmy Stewart. The risk of embarrassment was quite high when Hanks hit that park bench with little more than box of chocolates and an ill-fitting white suit. But Forrest was impossibly endearing, as he runs through thirty years of important 20th Century American history, literally and figuratively. The idea of a ping pong-playing mama's boy with a low I.Q., a Southern drawl and a lucrative shrimpin' business being the FOURTH most successful film in a decade that saw the release of over 3,000 movies would be impossible to believe if that wasn't exactly what happened. Life is like that, I guess.
1. Tyler Durden- "Fight Club"(1999)
Brad Pitt needs a pick-me-up these days, so I'm putting his sinewy, soap-making slave-master in the top spot. Unlike in previous decades, this wasn't so cut-and-dry, but Durden is number one because he encapsulates what '90s cinema was really all about- it was a shinier version of the '70s, a daring pre-politically-correct/pre-9/11 free-for-all the likes of which may never be seen again. I don't remember too many superheroes running around. I can't see Project Mayhem sitting too well with Fox News. "Fight Club" is the first movie that will be mentioned in Brad's obituaries, and I'm secure enough in my masculinity to admit that this angry anarchist and his abs are sexier than most women. I know I'm not the only one that wanted the ridiculously-tailored Tyler to be real, and somebody had to shake all of these emasculated man-boys out of their quiet complacency. The things you own end up owning you. Durden's words are truer now than they were in '99. I could quote him all day, but I have a soul-crushing consumerist lifestyle to get back to. Remember, you are not your job...
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