Franchise Review- Die Hard

    It's the 25th anniversary of the gold standard of the modern action movie. This is a genre that saw it's heyday in the 1980s and '90s which may seem like a long time ago, but I feel sorry for anyone that didn't get to experience the glorious carnage first-hand. The UFC doesn't have as much testosterone as the average flick back then. This is when men were men and there were considerably less costumed 'superheroes' running around. In 1988, who would have thought that Willis guy from TV's "Moonlighting" would come along and knock out the reigning genre champs Sly and Arnold? Well, that's exactly what happened. From that moment on, you didn't have to look like a Greek god to save the day and like "Lethal Weapon", that OTHER seminal shoot 'em up that kicked off this new era, there was a rash of imitators that tried to replicate the winning formula- "Under Siege 1 and 2", "Passenger 57", "Cliffhanger", "Speed", "Sudden Death", and "Air Force One", just to name a few. Nothing could ever top the inspiration or the man himself.

   The public's love of John McClane is such that his fifth adventure, the Moscow-set "A Good Day to Die Hard" is slated for release on Valentine's Day. His old-school fan base is likely to eat it up, but first let's recap his incredible legacy thus far. Welcome to the party, pal.




"Sorry, Sly".

"Die Hard"(1988)
After Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Richard Gere and Burt Reynolds all took a pass, the studio's fifth choice, TV actor Bruce Willis was cast as the working-class cop who is always in the wrong place at the right time. It shouldn't have worked. He had no action hero credentials, it was only his second movie(his first was the '87 romantic comedy "Blind Date") and he was being thrown right in the middle of the summer battle royal with the big boys. But Willis was terrific in the role, and it quickly became clear that his talent and charisma couldn't be contained to the small screen(he left "Moonlighting" the following year). John McClane is a bad-ass, but we love him because he's human. He bleeds, he sweats, he's often scared and his wife(Bonnie Bedelia) hates him. Suddenly, Rambo just wasn't that interesting anymore. Alan Rickman should have a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his role as Hans Gruber, the icy, elegant leader of a group of terrorist-robbers holding thirty hostages at the Nakatomi Corporation on Christmas Eve.

   Director John McTiernan, hot off the heels of "Predator", keeps ratcheting up the tension and excitement and works wonders with the claustrophobic setting which gave virtually every action filmmaker a new blueprint to work from. A legend was indeed born, and all he needed to get there was a filthy undershirt and a few well-timed wisecracks, but nobody could have predicted the decades-spanning durability of cinema's newest top cop.

"Die Hard 2: Die Harder"(1990)
He was placed in the under card and stole the show the first time around. Two years later, McClane was the main event as this suitably spectacular sequel roared into the multiplex on the Fourth of July weekend. Renny Harlin replaces John McTiernan(he opted to make "The Hunt for Red October" instead) and he really knew his way around a large scale action sequence in the '90s despite his diminished reputation. It's Christmas Eve(once again) and a band of evil mercenaries led by the ruthless Col Stuart(William Sadler) have seized control of Washington D.C's Dulles Airport. Luckily, John McClane just happens to be hanging out waiting for his wife's plane to arrive. The generous helpings of violence and mayhem prevents viewers from dwelling too much on the implausibility of it all(Bruce stabs a guy in the eye with an icicle!) and there's a nice twist to keep things interesting.

   Even though "DH2" made even more money than the original, the series went on a five-year sabbatical so Willis could abuse his A-list clout in terrible movies and Planet Hollywood openings, but there was little doubt that McClane would ride again.

"Welcome to the A-list, pal. Remember there's no such thing as a bad script".

"Die Hard with a Vengeance"(1995)
After being reinvigorated by "Pulp Fiction", Willis slid very comfortably back into his trademark wife beater for this explosive third entry that wisely lets John McClane play on his home turf- New York City. John McTiernan returned to the director's chair and Willis brought along his "PF" cast mate Samuel L. Jackson who provides plenty of scene-stealing comic relief as a Harlem shopkeeper reluctantly joined at the hip with our hungover hero. The movie starts off with a bang and never lets up for two breathless hours as the duo race around the Big Apple to foil a mad bomber(Jeremy Irons) whose terrorizing the city. But a clever swerve around the halfway point reveals that he's only doing it to distract attention away from his real objective- a massive break-in of the Federal Reserve Bank.

   "DHWAV" blasted it's way into the multiplex in early May and kicked the summer of '95 off right with a box office total of $100 million(the magic number in those days). It would have been a nice trilogy if Tinsel-town execs weren't every bit as greedy as the Gruber brothers.

"Live Free or Die Hard"(2007)
There were always rumors about a fourth installment, but a post-"Sixth Sense" Willis seemed uninterested in revisiting the role that made him a Hollywood heavyweight at the tail end of the Reagan era. However, a string of forgettable flops in the '00s got him to change his mind and sign the dotted line faster than you can say 'Yippee-kai-ay'. We wouldn't get to hear the rest of his iconic catchphrase because this was a PG-13 "Die Hard", and it's ironic that John McClane, now fifty years old and apparently indestructible, is a lot closer to Rambo and the Terminator than the scrappy underdog we first met back in '88. "Underworld" director Len Wiseman made 'Die Hard In Name Only' as this film has often been referred to by disapproving online fans.

   We've got a cyber terrorist plot, Justin Long's hacker sidekick, half-a-dozen absurdly over-the-top action sequences and an extended Kevin Smith cameo. Despite all of this, the box office was healthy, and a fifth film was suddenly on the table. It might have stayed there gathering dust, but then "The Expendables" happened and the last thing an aging action star needs is more encouragement.

"A Good Day to Die Hard"(2013)
Which brings us to the present. I wish I could report that this film brought the franchise back to it's former glory. Unfortunately, that is definitely NOT the case. The return of the R rating doesn't bring back any of that 'Die Hard' flavor, and this outing is every bit as bland and generic as "Live Free". Willis smirks his way through another wildly improbable adventure(at least his old ones were entertaining) as McClane heads to Russia to save his CIA operative son(Jai Courtney). I guess he's James Bond now, too. Some are criticizing this installment for it's relatively brief running time of 1 hour and 37 minutes. I thought it was too long. I snuck into this movie and I still wanted my money back.

   There are a myriad of problems here- we've got another hack script/director(John Moore), we're never given a reason to care about McClane's son or his predicament, we don't know who the villains are, the action is as preposterous as ever and Bruce is going through the motions every step of the way. Let's not allow him to officially pass the torch in a sixth film. I'm wrapping this up now. I think the first one is on Cinemax.