$am Jack$on $ucks

 

    I saw "The Avengers" a few weeks ago and something bothered me right off the bat. I couldn't figure out why I wasn't enjoying the opening scene of what is shaping up to be the biggest movie of the summer. Then it hit me. When the first thing I see is Samuel L. Jackson hamming it up in an eyepatch, I'm wondering if it's too late to get a refund. Which brings me to a problem that has existed in cinema for some time. Sam Jackson is everywhere. His roles in all the Marvel superhero movies, the "Star Wars" prequels, "The Incredibles", "Die Hard 3", Pulp Fiction", and Jurassic Park" have made him one of the biggest box office actors in history. But this is nothing to celebrate. Jackson has appeared in close to 100 movies since making his film debut as a stick-up man in "Coming to America" in 1988. He's made 24 movies in the last five years. That is insane. Filmmakers seem to think he brings this instant cool factor which is something he really hasn't had in at least a decade. The reason is quite clear. Jackson is the biggest sellout in Hollywood.


   Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying he doesn't have talent or that I wasn't a fan when he first came on the scene. He made a name for himself as a fiery character actor in the works of Spike Lee and Quentin Tarantino. I would have given him the Best Supporting Actor Oscar in 1994, but Jules Winfield was a long time ago. Jackson hardly cares about awards, though because he won where it really counts. I think he got some career advice from his fellow paycheck-loving "Jackie Brown" costar Robert De Niro. When was the last time Jackson added anything to a film? Maybe it was "Unbreakable" in 2000. Few seem to realize how many times he's polluted the multiplex. Did anybody like "Formula 51", "Basic", "SWAT", "Freedomland" or "The Spirit"? How about "Soul Men", "Lakeview Terrace", "Jumper", "Snakes on a Plane", or "Resurrecting The Champ"? Jackson says he just loves to work and that's what adults are supposed to do. His kids wouldn't have missed any meals if he had turned down "The Man" with Eugene Levy. Even Vin Diesel turned down the sequel to "XXX". Not $am. He's signed on for a third. Prostitutes say no more often than this guy. Marvel Studios signed him to an unprecedented deal to play Nick Fury in up to nine films and specifically redesigned the role from a silver haired white man to fit his exact image. Jackson would play Snow White if he thought an audience would go for it. Yet somehow he remains "cool".

   Jackson has no credibility as an actor anymore. He would have to sit on the sidelines for 3 to 5 years before I would want to see him again. That will never happen. Jackson fires his agent if he doesn't have at least 3 movies lined up. Forget about Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. I've got a new game. Three Degrees of Sam Jackson. He blasted a NY Times critic on Twitter for giving "The Avengers" a bad review. Jackson can have his $150 million but he's the last guy that should be demanding respect from the critics after everything that he's put them through. He just signed up for the "Robocop" remake that nobody asked for, due out in 2014. I think we should ignore it and every other piece of garbage that Jackson shovels into theaters until he's the joke in the industry that he deserves to be.



*Updated Dec 2012
I have to give credit where credit is due. Sam was very good in "Django Unchained", but QT always brought out the best in him.