Monday, September 10, 2018

Great Movies- True Romance


   Twenty-five years ago today, one of the coolest movies of the 1990s(that's saying something), was released upon an unprepared public...and totally bombed. That's right, I don't get it either. Despite the blockbuster credentials of director Tony Scott("Top Gun", "Beverly Hills Cop II") and a killer cast, hardly anybody attended the wedding of Clarence and Alabama Worley in Sept of '93. Fortunately, film is forever, and late night cable came to this film's rescue in the decade that followed. I discovered Quentin Tarantino's breakthrough on HBO around 1 a.m. and was blown away by it's insane energy and the wide array of talent on display. A few months later, I owned the DVD and had seen it several more times(that's what happens when you fall in love). The passage of time has seen "True Romance" join other late bloomers like "Blade Runner", "The Shawshank Redemption" and "Fight Club" on 'greatest movies' lists. I'm here to explain in detail why that's exactly where it belongs.




   As Charlie Sexton's underrated track "Graceland" sets a jubilant tone on the jukebox, we open in a dimly-lit bar with Christian Slater, in his post-"Heathers" untamed heartthrob mode, telling the cut whore from "Unforgiven"(Anna Thomson) what we would do to the deceased King of Rock 'n' Roll, if he HAD to fuck a guy. He's not a fag, though. Did I mention that political correctness barely existed in 1993? I shouldn't have to tell my fellow cinephiles that Quentin Tarantino was a twentysomething video store clerk in L.A., when he wrote an awesome screenplay that would get rejected by unadventurous industry types for the next five years. It was offensively violent and profane. It didn't help that the author was an unrefined high school dropout. Enter a ballsy Brit named Tony Scott. He got it, and immediately wanted to make "True Romance" AND "Reservoir Dogs", QT's third script(the second was "Natural Born Killers"). Scott settled on "TR" in '91, during the making of "The Last Boy Scout". A vindicated Quentin now had enough clout to take the industry by storm.



   Clarence Worley is basically Tarantino at age 25- a lonely, socially-unskilled film geek longing for a female that can watch three movies in one day. Quentin is speaking directly to his target audience, and I love that he based his first protagonist on himself. The world needs more women like Alabama Whitman. Unlike many movie romances, this relationship is totally believable and authentic, because these two lost souls are on the same level. I don't think Alabama left behind a loving family or friends in Tallahassee, Florida, and Clarence is hanging out by himself on his birthday. These two were made for each other.



   A Sonny Chiba triple feature leads to a diner date, in which our heroine is effervescently evasive. She likes Burt Reynolds and Mickey Rourke- two dated references that only add to her charm. No Persians, no problem for this all-American girl. Patricia Arquette was 24 years old with one major credit(1987's "A Nightmare on Elm Street 3")when she landed the role that should have made her as big as "Pretty Woman" made Julia Roberts. Scott had originally envisioned Drew Barrymore as his hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold. Let's thank the movie gods that she was busy that year. Patricia was perfect, and it was nice to finally see her formally recognized with an '05 Best Actress Emmy for television's "Medium" and the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for 2014's "Boyhood".



   Alabama comes clean after a night of passion. She didn't just happen to be at that theater, she was paid to be there(Clarence has the best boss in the world). He doesn't care, it was still one of the best times he ever had. Was Clarence a virgin? Either way, it's safe to say that he hasn't enjoyed a lot of female companionship. The earnestness of the performances and the buoyancy of Tarantino's dialogue allows us to buy into this union completely, and Arquette's acting is spot-on.




   Maybe I'm one of those "let the chips fall where they may and if you're lying to me, I'm gonna fucking die" type of guys, but there's simply no room for cynicism or skepticism when it comes to romance. Or hesitation. You only live once. Youth and beauty fade fast, so you'd better rock 'n' roll. If Clarence wishes he were Elvis, then Alabama is subconsciously channeling Marilyn Monroe. A courthouse wedding and a trip to the tattoo parlor, and this movie has already told a better love story in twenty minutes than most movies can manage in two hours. Cinematographer Jeffrey L. Kimball shot "Cop II" and "Top Gun" for Scott, and would also bring his visual language to "Jacob's Ladder" and "Mission Impossible II".



   Switching gears, I'm here to tell you that the first time Samuel L. Jackson uttered a line of Tarantino dialogue was in "True Romance"(he has two lines that are burned into my brain, for better or worse). A year before he was Jules Winfield, Sam was an equally foul-mouthed drug mule, in a startling scene that yanks us right out of the comfort and safety of Clarence and Alabama's tranquil interactions, and drops us right in the middle of a room filled with guys that need to be removed from society asap. Gary Oldman is dynamite as the dreadlocked gangster Drexl. This slimy pimp is everything that's wrong with urban America, and one of the many things that's right about this movie. He's only onscreen for about 12 minutes, and you're going to savor every one.



   That's Val Kilmer as the ghost of Elvis, as if this movie needed another cool tidbit. We never clearly see his face, but the Iceman was so eager to work with Scott again, that he didn't care. Remember that this is three months before Kilmer played Doc Holiday, and about six months before he was cast as Batman. The guy was about to blow up big-time, and it's a testament to the allure of the production that he agreed to such a small role. I might as well mention that the inspiration for this moment was Woody Allen's Bogart fixation in 1972's "Play It Again, Sam"(search for it and thank me later).
No, man, I'm Paul Bates from "Coming to America".

   As likable and endearing as Slater is, he has an edge to him. A dark side, that makes this confrontation with Drexl easier to digest. He's Travis Bickle(complete with a tattered Army jacket), Alabama is the adult version of Iris, and Drexl is going to pay for all the harm he's done, which I assume is a lot. Clarence has seen enough movies to imagine himself as the hero in such a scenario, and now he gets to slay the dragon. This is an intense, unsettling sequence that owes much to Scott's kinetic directing style and a techno track from 'Nymphomania'. Drexl ends up on the losing end of a chaotic fight, and Clarence makes off with Alabama's clothes. Or does he?



   Clarence and Alabama see their future in a suitcase filled with cocaine(Hitchcock called it a MacGuffin). Detroit is too dangerous, and with the police presumably looking for the gunman that left two bullet-riddled bodies in a brothel bloodbath, the '93 Bonnie and Clyde hit with road(with Alabama adorably dressed in Clarence's clothes). But first it's time for a tense family reunion.



   Dennis Hopper sold cocaine to fund his free-spirited odyssey in 1969's counterculture classic "Easy Rider", so it's very fitting that he fathered Slater's antihero, over two decades later. Ex-cop Clifford Worley is the most normal character in the movie, and nobody expected this wily vet to supply the soothing center here. If Hopper had stayed clean and sober in the '70s, he might have been seated in the same row as Jack Nicholson at the Academy Awards more often. Instead, he's more of a cult figure, with Frank Booth's bizarre rants and Mr. Worley's last stand both ranking high among the joys of being a film buff. Christian shouldn't have taken his work home with him either.



   I'm sure every male has fantasized about fearlessly banging his bubbly better half in a pay phone booth, en route to achieving financial freedom in California. This movie's brand of wish fulfillment makes our 9-to-5 real lives feel like a nightmare. "Chantilly Lace"(The Big Bopper,1958) is part of an eclectic soundtrack that includes Billy Idol, Aerosmith, and Soundgarden. Scott somehow chose the right mood music to accompany every scene.  Alabama's wacky wardrobe choices have made her an appealing Halloween costume for young women hip enough to know about the most notorious films of the Clinton era(prickly Republican Bob Dole actually condemned it during his '96 Presidential run).



   Here it is. Dennis Hopper vs. Christopher Walken. The scene your Dad told you about as soon as he felt your were old enough. You can put it right up there with the shower scene in "Psycho" or the opening of "Raiders of the Lost Ark" or the attack on the Death Star(Walken is in "True Romance" longer than Darth Vader is in the original "Star Wars" btw). Tarantino once called it the best scene he ever wrote. Sean Penn called it the best scene of the decade, and he knows a thing or two about great acting. Legend has it that Walken was written into "Pulp Fiction" at the last minute, based on the strength of his unforgettable appearance in this chilly Detroit trailer.

   This is an eleven-minute masterclass with unbearable tension and mesmerizing close-ups that will convince you that Vincent Coccotti is the devil himself. The distillation of '90s cinema, the Sicilian scene wouldn't be entirely possible in a mainstream product today, for obvious reasons. A lesser movie would have shoehorned Walken's stone-cold mob enforcer into the third act. Scott was smart enough to present his one-scene wonder as a portrait of untouchable evil, and his presence here is much more powerful as a result.



   But if you really crave more of Coccotti, the Special Edition DVD includes this deleted scene with light eerily fading in and out of an elevator. Walken's "King of New York" pal Victor Argo gets some good dialogue as his surly right hand man. I assume that unseen boss 'Blue' Lou Boyle is awaiting an update on his white powder. This crew(Frank Adonis, Paul Ben-Victor, Kevin Corrigan) could have had their own movie.



   Clarence and Alabama arrive in L.A. in their purple Cadillac, with absolutely no clue that the last remnants of the mid-Western Italian Mafia are making arrangements for them that Michael Corleone would consider overly cruel. This is a good time to mention that if Tarantino had directed, he would have played with the chronology and placed this scene much earlier in the movie. I'm glad that Scott told this story in a straightforward manner(maximizing the potential of his $12.5 million budget), with all due respect to Quentin's directorial bag of tricks.



   There are no small roles, only small actors. Brad Pitt proves that old adage to be true as couch-bound stoner Floyd. The future two-time 'Sexiest Man Alive' makes the most of his five minutes, with legendarily lazy line readings that place him among cinema's preeminent lay-abouts. Tarantino doesn't even claim credit for Pitt's committed characterization(he admitted to going method for his two days on the set). Brad's big break in "Thelma and Louise" presumably led to this opportunity with Ridley's bombastic brother, and may have helped land him the lead in QT's "Inglorious Basterds", too.

   I can't help but remark how many close-ups there are of characters smoking in this movie. Arquette, Oldman, Hopper, Walken, Pitt, Gandolfini, and Argo ALL light up, and it's conspicuous considering that nobody smokes in movies anymore. Tony Scott loved smoke(and close-ups), and I see it as a stylistic choice- nearly everyone in "True Romance" is living on the edge.



   Here's Michael Rapaport as Clarence's motor-mouthed best buddy/struggling actor Dick Ritchie. It's easy to imagine these two as friends in high school, geeking out in the corner over comic books and kung fu. "TR" becomes a caper movie at the one-hour mark, with Clarence laying out his plan to sell $500,000 worth of coke for the reduced price of $200,000 to some Hollywood hotshot that Ritchie must know by now, while Alabama lounges at their Safari Motel love nest. What could possibly go wrong?



   We have another "Unforgiven" cast member, Saul Rubinek as Lee Donowitz, an abrasive middle-aged, cocaine-fueled movie producer. It helps that half the population believes that behind-the-scenes power players in the movie biz are immoral scumbags, and Saul's Joel Silver impression plays even better in a post-Weinstein world. Donowitz already has a reliable drug source, but Clarence convinces him to take a risk for "the bargain-of-a-lifetime".



   Meet James Gandolfini. The late TV legend landed a career-making turn as a terrifying midlevel mobster that doesn't seem the least bit bothered by assignments that include the brutal interrogation of an attractive young female. David Chase was watching, and the previously-unknown Gandolfini would never want for another gig ever again. That's right, "True Romance" had something to do with the creation of the greatest TV show of the 21st Century. This is another harrowing scene, with visceral violence that you just don't see in modern movies designed to comfort the masses. Alabama is badly beaten, and her animalistic corkscrew comeback is as satisfying as any big blow delivered by Rocky Balboa.



   Clarence can't believe that their hotel haven has transformed into hell on earth, so he hauls his bloody bride to safety and hits the road. These minimum-wage kids deserve a piece of the American Dream, made increasingly difficult by a shrinking middle class. Reaganomics didn't work out for everybody. Tony Montana didn't want to wash dishes, and C&A don't want to see an eviction notice on their door every six months. Clarence can play the part of a gun-toting drug dealer for one day, or spend every day in pitiful poverty. The stakes are high, but there's no turning back.



   Bronson Pinchot, of "Perfect Strangers" fame, should have been in more movies(Balki just got too annoying). He was hilarious as Serge in that 1984 phenomenon "Beverly Hills Cop", and equally so as Hollywood hanger-on Elliot. He's caught partying with a blonde slut and the sample-bag that he requested for his boss. Keen-eyed '90s film buffs will recognize Maria Pitillo here. She would've been an A-lister if anyone had liked Roland Emmerich's "Godzilla". The "Bye Bye Love" beauty quietly retired in 2008(sigh).



   Enter Chris Penn and Tom Sizemore, as manic members of the LAPD. As soon as these guys show up, it feels like we're watching another movie, and that's a compliment. We're fully in THEIR world for a few minutes, and I like to think that Cody Nicholson and Nicky Dimes have been living out their "Lethal Weapon" buddy cop fantasies together for years. Sizemore couldn't be happier to find a stupid guy covered in coke(tragically ironic in retrospect, given the once-respected actor's own drug-fueled descent). The formidable police squad includes an uncredited Ed Lauter("The Longest Yard", "Death Wish 3") and Michael Beach("Waiting to Exhale", TV's "Third Watch").



   Slater's best acting moment in the film may be his elevator meltdown, to make sure that Elliot doesn't have a double-cross in mind(he does). His paranoia isn't misplaced, and a nearby Nicholson and Dimes are now convinced they're dealing with a hardened drug dealer. The cop duo don't seem overly concerned that a wire-wearing weasel that's just trying to stay out of prison is close to getting shot in the face, just in case you need another reason to be weary of the police. It's better to have a gun and not need it...



   The foreboding finale finds Clarence talking his way into Lee's good graces at the Beverly Ambassador Hotel("Coming Home in a Body Bag" is right up there with "The Deer Hunter" and Apocalypse Now"!). Slater really shines in his long dialogue scenes in this film. With cops and gangsters closing in, there's no way this deal runs smoothly. Donowitz has bodyguards with automatic weapons, as if C&A needed another complication. It makes sense that Quentin's favorite film is "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly", because we're in for the mother of all Mexican stand-offs.



   A sick shootout results in the deaths of everybody, except Clarence, Alabama, and Dick. This is back when you only needed a never-ending supply of bullets to craft a kick-ass climax. I urge everyone to watch the Director's Cut, for it contains the crucial moment where a raging Alabama kills Dimes for killing Clarence(or so she thought). Scott and Tarantino differed wildy on the ending, for which two versions were shot. Clarence dies in the original script, and Alabama makes off with the money, leaving the audience wondering if she ever really loved him. Scott saw things in much simpler terms, and balked at such ambiguity. He loved these characters(and accurately predicted that we would too) and ordered a Roger Avary rewrite that left no doubt about the depth of their devotion. Tarantino ultimately respected Scott's authority and ownership of the material and backed his decision(while maintaining that "his movie" would have contained the dark ending).


Was Alabama a con woman? Tarantino's ending.
Clarence and Alabama Go to Cancun. Scott's ending.



   Hans Zimmer's score pays homage to 1973's "Badlands", a major influence on "True Romance". Tarantino has never been shy about his recycling habits, and Arquette's breathy voice-over that bookends the best two hours of 1993, purposely echoes Sissy Spacek, exactly twenty years earlier(and that's her four-hour old son Enzo as Elvis Worley).



   I consider "TR" the middle part of a VERY loose trilogy with "Reservoir Dogs" and "Pulp Fiction", that loudly announced the arrival of a brash, singular talent, hellbent on shaking Hollywood out of it's formulaic complacency. QT operated as if the commercial excesses and studio mandates of the 1980s never happened, in his quest to restore the riskier, more personal output of the pre-"Star Wars" era(1967-1976) that contains many of his cinematic obsessions. Scott's slick, propulsive direction and visual flair truly makes "True Romance" the best of both worlds. This is his masterpiece, and there wasn't another filmmaker that could have staged this film's key scenes with more violent verve, or taken such care of it's eclectic ensemble. R.I.P. Tony. Clarence and Alabama will always be around to remind reckless romantics that the kind of love they crave does exist, albeit in a crazy, bad world. "True Romance" is one of the world's greatest films.
















































Friday, September 7, 2018

R.I.P. Burt Reynolds 1936-2018

   The world was saddened to learn that Burt Reynolds died of a heart attack yesterday, at age 82. One of the biggest movie stars of his day, the ruggedly-handsome Reynolds headlined so many hits in the ten years that saw America transition from Richard Nixon to Ronald Reagan, that he became synonymous with the 1970s. John Boorman's "Deliverance" was the movie that started it all, and Burt's been in our lives ever since he shot an arrow through the heart of that hillbilly rapist(if you're under age 30, watch it now). A better actor than he ever got credit for, Burt settled into an affable audience-pleasing persona, that peaked with 1977's "Smokey and the Bandit", that summer's second-highest grosser, behind "Star Wars". Movies are supposed to be fun, and in his prime, he always seemed to be having plenty of it. But Paul Thomas Anderson's "Boogie Nights" revealed more serious aspirations, and he received the best reviews of his career, and an Oscar nomination, for that 1997 comeback. A college football stud turned Florida folk hero (many of his films were love letters to the deep South), few stars brought more fans and friends along for the ride than Burt Reynolds.






Complete filmography(92 films, the successful ones are darkened)

"Angel Baby"(1961)
"Armored Command"(1961)
"Operation C.I.A."(1965)
"Navajo Joe"(1966)
"100 Rifles"(1969)
"Sam Whiskey"(1969)
"Impasse"(1969)
"Shark!"(1969)
"Skullduggery"(1970)
"Run, Simon, Run"(1970)
"Fuzz"(1972)
"Deliverance"(1972)
"Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex(*But Were Afraid to Ask"(1972)
"Shamus"(1973)
"The Man Who Loved Cat Dancing"(1973)
"White Lightning"(1973)
"The Longest Yard"(1974)
"At Long Last Love"(1975)
"W.W. and the Dixie Dancekings"(1975)
"Lucky Lady"(1975)
"Hustle"(1975)
"Silent Movie"(1976)- cameo
"Gator"(1976)- also directed
"Nickelodeon"(1976)
"Smokey and the Bandit"(1977)
"Semi-Tough"(1977)
"The End"(1978)- also directed
"Hooper"(1978)
"Starting Over"(1979)
"Rough Cut"(1980)
"Smokey and the Bandit II"(1980)
"The Cannonball Run"(1981)
"Paternity"(1981)
"Sharkey's Machine"(1981)- also directed
"The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas"(1982)
"Six Pack"(1982)- cameo
"Best Friends"(1982)
"Stroker Ace"(1983)
"Smokey and the Bandit Part 3"(1983)
"The Man Who Loved Women"(1983)
"Cannonball Run II"(1984)
"City Heat"(1984)
"Stick"(1985)- also directed
"Uphill All the Way"(1986)- cameo
"Heat"(1986)
"Malone"(1987)
"Rent-a-Cop"(1987)
"Switching Channels"(1988)
"Physical Evidence"(1989)
"Breaking In"(1989)
"All Dogs Go to Heaven"(1989)- voice
"Modern Love"(1990)
"The Player"(1992)- cameo
"Cop and a Half"(1993)- it made money!
"The Maddening"(1995)
"Striptease"(1996)
"Citizen Ruth"(1996)
"Mad Dog Time"(1996)
"Meet Wally Sparks"(1997)
"Bean"(1997)
"Boogie Nights"(1997)
"Crazy Six"(1997)
"Big City Blues"(1997)
"The Hunter's Moon"(1999)
"Pups"(1999)
"Mystery, Alaska"(1999)
"Waterproof"(2000)
"The Crew"(2000)
"The Last Producer"(2000)
"Driven"(2001)
"Tempted"(2001)
"Hotel"(2001)
"The Hollywood Sign"(2001)
"The Librarians"(2003)
"Without a Paddle"(2004)
"The Longest Yard"(2005)
"The Dukes of Hazard"(2005)
"The Legend of Frosty the Snowman"(2005)- voice
"Cloud 9"(2006)
"End Game"(2006)
"Forget About It"(2006)
"Grilled"(2006)
"Broken Bridges"(2006)
"In the Name of the King"(2007)
"Randy and the Mob"(2007)- cameo
"Deal"(2008)
"Delgo"(2008)- voice
"A Bunch of Amateurs"(2008)
"Not Another Not Another Movie"(2011)
"Pocket Listing"(2015)
"Miami Love Affair"(2017)
"The Last Movie Star"(2018)



















Monday, August 27, 2018

R.I.P. Neil Simon 1927-2018


   Legendary playwright Neil Simon left our mortal coil last night at age 91. One of the greatest comedy writers of the 20th Century, Simon is a big part of the reason why I hate most of what passes for humor in the last twenty years. The level of talent and warmth that this man possessed seems to be absent from too many modern productions. The three-time Tony winner was such a towering presence on the NYC stage in the '60s and '70s, that his contributions to film are often overlooked. "The Odd Couple" has only been around for over five decades, and the universality of Felix and Oscar should keep them bickering on stage, screen or television for five more. "The Sunshine Boys" are not far behind, as Walter Matthau(we miss him, too) emerged as his cinematic avatar. Jack Lemmon, Jane Fonda, Charles Grodin, George Burns, Richard Dreyfuss, Marsha Mason and Mathew Broderick also benefitted immensely, as did we, from his domesticated dialogue and heartfelt hilarity.









Complete filmography(26 films, screenplays only)

"After the Fox"(1966)
"Barefoot in the Park"(1967)
"The Odd Couple"(1968)
"Sweet Charity"(1969)
"The Out-of-Towners"(1970)
"Plaza Suite"(1971)
"Last of the Red Hot Lovers"(1972)
"The Heartbreak Kid"(1972)
"The Prisoner of Second Avenue"(1975)
"The Sunshine Boys"(1975)
"Murder by Death"(1976)
"The Goodbye Girl"(1977)
"The Cheap Detective"(1978)
"California Suite"(1978)
"Chapter Two"(1979)
"Seems Like Old Times"(1980)
"Only When I Laugh"(1981)
"I Ought to Be in Pictures"(1982)
"Max Dugan Returns"(1983)
"The Lonely Guy"(1984)
"The Slugger's Wife"(1985)
"Brighton Beach Memoirs"(1986)
"Biloxi Blues"(1988)
"The Marrying Man"(1991)
"Lost in Yonkers"(1993)
"The Odd Couple II"(1998)





















Saturday, August 11, 2018

A Critical Reevaluation- Gigli


   Fifteen years ago this month, "the worst movie of all time" nearly removed Ben Affleck from the A-list and Jennifer Lopez from every tabloid magazine cover. It's resounding failure became known to people that don't even pay attention to box office and bad reviews. You know I'm talking about that 2003 train wreck known as "Gigli". This movie has been criticized more than the Iraq War, and time hasn't been any kinder to Martin Brest's ill-conceived romantic comedy. I'm here to pose a question that hasn't been uttered out loud since Roger Ebert's two-and-a-half star assessment- is "Gigli" REALLY THAT bad? In my opinion, the answer is no. If you were alive the year Affleck played Daredevil and caressed Lopez's butt on a boat, then you know that Bennifer had it coming. We didn't hate the movie(most never even saw it) as much as we hated the media rubbing the unbelievable awesomeness of their lives in our faces for twelve months straight. The backlash led to their real-life break-up about six months later, and gossip-lovers would soon turn their attention to Brad and Angelina instead. The public responded to the split with as much jubilation as Saddam Hussein's capture, and Ben and Jen resumed their careers with some newfound humility. Join me as I explain why "Gigli" should have a(slightly) better reputation than it does. I'm positive that I'm the only person that's ever done this.




   "Just Married". "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days". "Boat Trip". "2 Fast 2 Furious". "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle". "Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd". "Hollywood Homicide". "From Justin to Kelly". "Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde". "The League of Extraordinary Gentleman". "Bad Boys II". "My Boss's Daughter". "Duplex". "Cold Creek Manor". "Party Monster". "Underworld". "Gothika". "In the Cut". "Paycheck".  All 2003 movies, ALL as bad if not worse than "Gigli". I'll take J Lo's yoga-mat monologue over this putrid pack. It's hard to believe now that Jenny from the Block was once a respected actress. That ended forever thanks to "Gigli", even though it's actually a step above "The Wedding Planner", "Angel Eyes" and "Enough". The most famous woman on the planet during Bush's first term, ultimately chose unchallenging roles and pop music fame over the more substantial fare that looked to be in her future after "Selena" and "Out of Sight". Oh, well.


Have you seen this man?
   The worst thing to come out of this film was the demise of the career of director Martin Brest. If you don't know the name, you should, because he's the man behind stone-cold '80s classics "Beverly Hills Cop" and "Midnight Run". Somebody had to take the fall, and it wasn't going to be the photogenic pair that sold a million tabloids. Talk about bad luck. The reclusive Brest couldn't have possibly predicted this Bill Buckner-style outcome, and hasn't worked, or even been heard from, in the entertainment business since 2003, a highly unusual situation given his prior success(he also directed Pacino's Oscar-winning role in "Scent of a Woman"). That's tragic, in my mind.







   I'm certainly not trying to argue that "Gigli" is a good movie, it's problems are plain for all to see- Affleck's exaggerated machismo, a retarded kidnap victim, Lopez's lesbian gangster(?). When an oddball Chris Walken cameo and a shouty murderous Pacino make no difference at all, you're in big trouble. But in the deep recesses of dreadful cinema, it's just lazy to single this one out for scorn and derision. It's like tackling somebody on the football field when three of your teammates are already piled on top of him. It's like being the 400th Harvey Weinstein accuser. We get it. "Gigli" sucks. "Battlefield Earth" and "Freddy Got Fingered" are 2000s turds that deserve your hate more than Ben and Jen(they've BOTH done worse btw). This much talent, however misplaced, is never a total loss. There's an acceptable product in here somewhere, and if Brest had extracted some of the dumber elements and hadn't been faced with the Bennifer feeding frenzy, some other movie would have taken it's place as a late-night punchline. This was a perfect storm of overexposed stars and a vulnerable writer-director in need of a better title. Now, I'm begging you to go find a better(I mean, worse) movie to pick on. Every year, you have a plethora of choices.