1.
"Cannibal Holocaust"(1980) It took me a long time to watch this notoriously-violent Italian found-footage exploitation film. It's reputation preceded it. I'm here to tell you not to ever bother. Sexual assault, violence toward animals, and of course, cannibalism all takes place in this Amazon rainforest. A sick, revolting piece of shit.
2.
"Transylvania 6-5000"(1985) This horrible horror comedy failed miserably at both, and did nothing for Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis. Leonard Maltin succinctly reported that Ed Begley Jr.'s trip to Central Europe "stunk". First-time writer-director Ray De Luca never stood behind the camera again.
3.
"Earth Girls Are Easy"(1988) We might as well double up on Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum. The now-married pair were going places in Hollywood and must have been too in love to look long at this script. Take a gander at those lousy alien get-ups. "Earth Girls" wasn't easy for me to endure, but may have been a necessary evil- Jim Carrey landed on TV's "In Living Color" with his costar Damon Wayans in 1990.
4.
"Troll 2"(1990) My god. This "sequel"(there's no narrative connection) to the 1986 oddity earns every bit of it's infamy. Are these cheap costumes supposed to be trolls or goblins? Writer-director Claudio Fragasso claims that he set out to make a comedic film. You decide, but the 2009 "Best Bad Movie" doc attempted to turn a negative into a positive.
5.
"Zandalee"(1991 The cinematic rise of Nicolas Cage hit a road block in New Orleans. His sleazy artist-drifter is one of many bizarre choices by the quirky workaholic and unlikely A-lister. Erika Anderson(as the sexy title character) later said she felt violated by the production. She's not the only one. "Zandalee" was so bad, it barely got a release in the States. Judge Reinhold costars with an annoying accent and no dramatic acting talent whatsoever.
6.
"Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday"(1993) New Line Cinema(after cruelly acquiring the character rights from Paramount) and producer Sean S. Cunningham sent every summer spectator straight to hell with this nasty, needless ninth visit from supernatural slayer Jason Vorhees.
7.
"Man's Best Friend"(1993) A killer genetically-engineered canine was a career killer for Ally Sheedy. The upstart New Line Cinema was still an indie horror outfit, and not yet the classy home of "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy. This dog of a movie did nothing to build that bridge. Sadly, writer-director John Lafia("Child's Play 1 and 2") committed suicide in 2020.
8.
"Cabin Boy"(1994) If you had asked my 14 year old self to name the worst movie ever made, I might have pointed the finger at cult comic Chris Elliott's first AND last starring role. Elliott got his showbiz start working for late-night legend David Letterman, who lent writer/director Adam Resnick to a doomed production(and the short-lived sitcom "Get a Life"). This is 80 minutes of pure misery.
9.
'Major Payne"(1995) Pain is a precise description of this Damon Wayans military school comedy that's somehow worse than "Blankman". I groaned the minute I saw it advertised on television. Which is where Wayans belonged(bit part in "Beverly Hills Cop" aside). Damon only ever worked in small doses.
10.
"The Glimmer Man"(1996) While we're at it, Steven Seagal and Keenan Ivory Wayans were a match made in hell in this wildly-inept actioner that felt ten years too late. Perhaps, the worst buddy cop film ever created.
11.
"The Ladies Man"(2000) The long list of "Saturday Night Live" stars that went on to big-screen stardom does NOT include Tim Meadows, whose sex expert Leon Phelps made 16 appearances on the show and was promptly retired in October '00. A ONE-joke movie stretched out to 84 execrable minutes by "House Party" director Reginald Hudlin, I'd rather not get laid than have to listen to this ladies man.
12.
"Say It Isn't So"(2001) The Farrelly brothers lent their names(as producers) to this pitiful comedy that blatantly ripped pages out of the playbook of "There's Something About Mary" without producing a single laugh. I don't like seeing Sally Field lowering herself like this. What a BAD break for the previously-hot Heather Graham and Chris Klein, whose careers never really recovered.
13.
"Jason X"(2002)I think it's pronounced "Jason Ten", but this montrosity doesn't deserve to have it's name said correctly.
14.
"Quicksand"(2004) Michael Keaton's worst movie? You learn something new every day. "The Squeeze" and "Jack Frost" can move over for this international crime thriller that got shelved for three years while the industry tried to decide if the beloved "Beetlejuice"/"Batman" actor was still a movie star. He is, but you'd never know it from this appropriately-titled trash. Michael Caine collected a paycheck for it too.
15.
"Son of the Mask"(2005) Newsflash- Jamie Kennedy is NO Jim Carrey! I don't think anyone needed to be told that. The 1994 original is a triumphant fusion of manic comedy and clever FX. "Son of the Mask" is, you guessed it, a soulless cash-grab and one of the most depressingly awful sequels of all time.
16.
"Derailed"(2005) Clive Owen and Jennifer Aniston are both badly miscast in a sloppy thriller that keeps piling on the absurdities.
17.
"Marilyn Hotchkiss' Ballroom Dancing & Charm School"(2005) Mary Steenburgen is lovely, but I had a strong negative reaction to the rest of this dreadful dance drama that doesn't ring true on any level. I think the world would too, if anyone knew that it exists. Robert Carlyle, Marisa Tomei, John Goodman, and Donnie Wahlberg are wasted here as well.
18.
"Inland Empire"(2006) David Lynch had a lot of nerve. The famously-enigmatic director of "Eraserhead" and "Blue Velvet" didn't do his three-time leading lady Laura Dern any favors, with his low-resolution handheld camera, non-existent script, and mind-boggling three-hour length. Unsurprisingly, his tenth film would also be his last.
19.
"Snakes on a Plane"(2006) Samuel L. Jackson says the intention was always to make a cheesy "bad" movie. Congratulations, Sam. It's also boring, with an empty ensemble.
20.
"Perfect Stranger"(2007) Halle Berry is beautiful. I wanted to say something nice. Bruce Willis(here in rare bad-guy mode) has been in over 100 movies. I took a date to see this one, and things didn't work out. Lame, lackluster, laughable, and ludicrous.
21.
"Death Sentence"(2007) I wanted revenge on Kevin Bacon after sitting through this rancid, thoroughly unpleasant "Death Wish" rip-off. Brian Garfield's 1975 novel of the same name, was actually intended to be it's sequel. John Goodman is gross in this. Director James Wan("The Conjuring", "Furious 7", "Aquaman") would do better.
22.
"Disaster Movie"(2008) At least the title is apt.
23.
"Crank: High Voltage"(2009) This sadistic sequel to the equally-sinister 2006 turkey is the cinematic equivalent of brain damage and should be kept far away from impressionable minds. The joyless Jason Statham never should've become famous. As soon as I got to the end of this garbage, I destroyed the DVD.
24.
"The Chaperone"(2011) Pro wrestling legend Paul "Triple H" Levesque laid a beating down on fans that got lured into his pathetic family comedy, directed by former hitmaker Stephen Herek. At least only a few were hurt- WWE Films could only generate $279,000 on a $6 million budget for this pre-WrestleMania wreck. Vince McMahon should have to answer for this too.
25.
"The Fanatic"(2019) I like John Travolta, even though he's become a regular on these lists. I wish I could clean up his filmography. This insanely ill-conceived stalker drama was directed by "Limp Bizkit" frontman Fred Durst(WTF?), and is infinitely worse than his "Gotti" misfire from the year before. A flailing JT just hasn't been the same since "Battlefield Earth", and was in badly in need of career advisers as he searched in vain for another comeback. An absolute embarrassment.
