Great '80s Characters Part III

80. Pamela Vorhees- "Friday the 13th"(1980) Jason's Mom got the murder cycle started at Crystal Lake in the original "Friday". Her indestructible son took it from there.

79. The Night Slasher- "Cobra"(1986) Brian Thompson would be more famous if Sylvester Stallone had allowed it. The "Terminator" punk had a distict face and was one of the decade's better bad guys.

77,78. Chozen Toguchi, Mike Barnes- "The Karate Kid Part II and III"(1986,1989) Yuji Okumoto and Sean Kanan have enjoyed renewed relevance on "Cobra Kai". The Okinawan nightmare and karate's bad boy relished their physical(but not spiritual) superiority over Ralph Macchio's Daniel-san, before being softened by middle-age. Just be glad you're post-high school experiences didn't involve these guys.

76. Det. George "Sam" Francisco- "Alien Nation"(1988) Sandwiched between Inigo Montoya and his TV work("Chicago Hope", "Homeland"), Mandy Patinkin played this otherworldly officer opposite James Caan. The resulting cult mini-franchise played out on the small screen without either man.

75. J.C. Wyatt- "Baby Boom"(1987) Diane Keaton is delighful in her second best '80s role(behind "Reds"). Wyatt works 5-9, until baby Elizabeth and Sam Shepherd teach the Tiger Lady what really matters in life. Her and Nancy Meyers would meet again.

74. Kara Zor-El- "Supergirl"(1984) There's an alternate reality where blue-eyed blonde beauty Helen Slater is a huge star(sigh).

73. Aaron Altman- "Broadcast News"(1987) Albert Brooks had a better movie career than I realized. His wisecracking reporter loves Holly Hunter and hates William Hurt, and doesn't like where the news is headed.

72. H.I. McDunnough- "Raising Arizona"(1987) Nicolas Cage can thank the Coen brothers for his A-list entry. Critics loved the comic criminality of this 5x felon.

71. Ellen Griswald- the "Vacation" series(1983,1985,1989) Why was Clark Griswold always shamelessly flirting with other women? Beverly D'Angelo was more than enough for any man.

70. Joan Wilder- "Romancing The Stone", "The Jewel of the Nile"(1984,1985) Kathleen Turner thought director Robert Zemeckis was more interested in action and cameras and effects than he was in his leading lady. I'm sure she disagreed when she got to voice Jessica Rabbit(her last good role).

69. Jake Taylor- "Major League"(1989) Tom Berenger's best role? Slide into home with the Cleveland Indians' aging star catcher.

68. Tony 'The Tiger' Russo- "Married to the Mob"(1988) Dean Stockwell is an Oscar-nominated scene-stealer in Jonathan Demme's madcap mob comedy. Shout out to his equally-entertaining screen wife, Mercedes Ruehl.

67. Jerry Langford- "The King of Comedy"(1983) Jerry Lewis was rejuvenated as a jaded late-night host in Martin Scorsese's fourth masterpiece. Where was the Best Supporting Actor nomination?

66. Zack Mayo- "An Officer and a Gentleman"(1982) He's got nowhere else to go. That's not really true. Richard Gere's rebellious Navy recruit has been welcome in the homes of film fans for forty years now.

65. Emma Greenway- "Terms of Endearment"(1983) Debra Winger was wonderful as Shirley MacLaine's long-suffering daughter in 1983's Best Picture winner. The earthy Emma is as real and relatable as movie characters get, what a shame that "difficult" Debra would never be this good again.

64. Loretta Castorini- "Moonstruck"(1987) Remember when Cher was a real actress? The 1988 Academy Awards do.

61, 62, 63. Peter, Michael, and Jack- "Three Men and a Baby"(1987) I want to party with these guys in their sick NYC pad. Who knew that being a thirtysomething-year old bachelor was this much fun? Unfortunately, that's only if you're Tom Selleck, Ted Danson, or Steve Guttenberg.

60. Ant Co Phuong Bao- "Rambo: First Blood Part II"(1985) She's not expendable. There's an alternate reality where Sylvester Stallone's super-soldier takes this Vietnamese hottie(Julia Nickson) back to the States and lives a normal life in the suburbs.

59. Mike Damone- "Fast Times at Ridgemont High"(1982) How did this smooth-talking scalper/"ladies man" NOT land Robert Romanus a notable movie career? I hate to say that Damone hasn't "aged well" with younger viewers.

58. Jerry Mitchell- "Three O'Clock High"(1987) Casey Siemaszko fell way short of the Michael J. Fox/Matthew Broderick/John Cusack fame that he was probably aiming for. He'll always have this cult comedy that was on cable every single day in the late '80s. Don't fuck this up, Mitchell.

57. "Duncan- "Some Kind of Wonderful"(1987) I've probably never pronounced his name right, but Elias Koteas is good in everything. I could have used a friend like this in high school.

56. Watts- "Some Kind of Wonderful"(1987) I could have used a "friend" like Mary Stuart Masterson even more.

55. Sarah Tobias- "The Accused"(1988)Jodie Foster went to Yale and barely acted for four years. You'd never know it from this Oscar-winning performance.

54. Johnny Smith- "The Dead Zone"(1983) Christopher Walken's best starring role next to "King of New York" was this Stephen King-David Cronenberg chiller. This sullen psychic sacrifices himself to stop a malevolent Presidential candidate(Martin Sheen). That's heroism.

53. Louis Winthorpe- "Trading Places"(1983) Looking good, Dan Aykroyd. What a decade this guy had. Forget "Doctor Detroit", and fire up this John Landis culture class comedy one night this week.

52. Bud Fox- "Wall Street"(1987) Charlie Sheen owes his career to Oliver Stone. This buttoned-up broker almost sells his soul to the god of greed Gordon Gekko(the magnificent Michael Douglas). He wears a wire instead.

51. Sergeant Elias- "Platoon"(1986) Speaking of Oliver Stone, Willem Dafoe and his Christ-like death pose dominated film discussions for a while in this Best Picture-winning instant classic.

50. Pvt. "Joker"- "Full Metal Jacket"(1987) Matthew Modine showed us his war face in his career-defining Vietnam movie. The experience inspired a 2005 diary that further deified it's creator Stanley Kubrick.

49. Sgt. Tony Meserve- "Casualties of War"(1989) While we're on Vietnam, Sean Penn is warped(in the best way) in Brian De Palma's fact-based war movie about the rape and murder of a teenage girl in 1966.

48. R.J. MacReady- "The Thing"(1982) A bearded Kurt Russell battles the Antarctic elements and an extra-terrestrial life form in his best collaboration with 5x director John Carpenter.

47. Daryl Van Horn- "The Witches of Eastwick"(1987) Only Jack Nicholson could seduce Cher, Susan Sarandon, and Michelle Pfeiffer, and such a thing could only happen in 1987.

46. Ted Stryker- "Airplane"(1980) Robert Hays made his film debut in "the funniest movie ever made", or at least that's what people used to say about this ZAZ spoof of the '70s disaster subgenre. Striker overcomes his fear of flying on a turbulent flight. Will today's young people ever overcome their fear of comedy?

45. Alex Sternbergen- "The Morning After"(1986) Jane Fonda's last Oscar nomination came for this alcoholic actress and murder suspect. A largely forgotten thriller enlivened by Fonda's effortless skill in the middle of her exercise-tape mania.

44. Lydia Deetz- "Beetlejuice"(1988) Winona Ryder put her moody goth girl energy to great use in Tim Burton's second movie. Has any actress ever had a better under-30 run than Winona from 1988-1999? It started with Lydia, and Ryder deserves credit(or blame?) for the 2024 sequel finally coming to fruition.

43. Katharine Parker- "Working Girl"(1988) Sigourney Weaver was a boss in the '80s. She was nominated twice in the same year, and her best non-sci-fi role just might be this Mike Nichols joint about female empowerment in the workplace.

42. Doug Coughlin- "Cocktail"(1988) Coughlin's law. Don't you wish you had a mentor/wingman/drinking buddy like this Australian cocksman? Roger Donaldson's "drama" is one of the best bad movies of all time.

41. Roland Tyler- "F/X"(1986) We might as well get Bryan Brown's other big role out of the way. There's only two, actually.

40. "C.C." Bloom- "Beaches"(1988) Did Bette Midler ever know that she's the hero of millions of American '80s housewives?

39. Jo Ann Vallenari- "Tequila Sunrise"(1988) Is your lip stuck to your teeth or is that your idea of a smile? I'm smiling, as I book a reservation at Michelle Pfeiffer's L.A. restaurant five nights a week.

38. Billy Frances Kopecki- "Big"(1988) He's your best friend. What's more important than that? Shout out to Jared Rushton, who also scored with "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids".

37. Officer Anne Lewis- "Robocop"(1987)Speaking of best friends, I give you Nancy Allen. She partnered with Robo(Peter Weller) in all three of his films, even when he was played by Robert John Burke. That's loyalty.

36. Prince Akeem- "Coming to America"(1988) When I think of garbage, a lot of Eddie Murphy movies come to mind. This John Landis comedy definitely isn't one of them. The 2021 sequel, though....

35. Sebastien de Valmont- "Dangerous Liasons"(1988)John Malkovich's th seducer is "problematic" now. No matter. This Stephen Frears costume drama is the best '80s movie that never get talked about.

34. Jason Dean- "Heathers"(1989) Christian Slater was cool. For about ten years. Watch him kill Winona Ryder's classmates, and tell me I'm wrong.

33. Eddie Dodd- "True Believer"(1989) James Woods was a good actor, and his far-right leanings shouldn't obscure that. His washed-up lawyer was so cool, he counts Robert Downey Jr. as a sidekick, and inspired a short-lived 1991 TV show.

32. Jack Terry- "Blow Out"(1981) John Travolta was still at the top of his game as a movie sound-man that stumbles on a murderous political conspiracy in Brian De Palma's criminally-overlooked thriller. That was until Quentin Tarantino started telling us about it, when he cast the '70s stud in "Pulp Fiction".

31. Frank- "Thief"(1981) James Caan never caught up to De Niro and Pacino, but could say that he fronted Michael Mann's self-explanatory directorial debut. This Chicago ex-con just needs one more big score to settle down with Tuesday Weld. Which begs the question, why wasn't he in "Heat"?

30. Vincent Lauria- "The Color of Money"(1986) Tom Cruise's hair was perfect in Scorsese's sequel to "The Hustler". Playing with Paul Newman the same year as "Top Gun"? Just, wow.

29. Henry- "Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer"(1986) Michael Rooker made a startling debut as a psychotic drifter in this indie sensation that's scarier than Freddy and Jason combined. An "X" rating and an enthusiastic film festival response made "Henry" an unlikely hit by 1990.

28. Pvt. Hudson- "Aliens"(1986) "Game over, man"! Bill Paxton got some of the best lines in James Cameron's classic sequel. This manly marine can't wait to fight aliens...until it's time to fight aliens. No wonder he popped up in "True Lies" and "Titanic". R.I.P.

27. John Winger- "Stripes"(1981) Bill Murray is at his best as an irreverent Army recruit in Ivan Reitman's comedy smash. I just wish it were twenty minutes shorter. With Harold Ramis hanging around, do we have this movie to thank for "Ghostbusters"?

26. John Keating- "Dead Poets Society"(1989) Carpe Diem. Robin Williams will always be our captain in Peter Weir's Oscar-nominated blockbuster.

25. Jack Baker- "The Fabulous Baker Boys"(1989) Jeff Bridges is at his pre-"Lebowski" best as a sullen piano man that makes his living in Seattle's lounge-scene. Many of Jeff's '80s efforts didn't pan out, let's thank writer-director Steve Kloves for playing just the right note.

24. Short Round- "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom"(1984) Hang on, we're going for a ride. Harrison Ford's funniest sidekick Ke Huy Quan beat out John Rhys-Davies and Denholm Elliott for this slot. Indy 5("The Dial of Destiny") passed on a fan-pleasing opportunity.

23. Willie Scott- "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom"(1984) Steven Spielberg once said "there isn't an ounce of my personal feeling" in the dark middle chapter of his iconic action franchise. Future wife Kate Capshaw would surely disagree.

22. Michelle- "Frantic"(1988) Speaking of directors that married their leading ladies, Emmanuelle Seigner is smoking as a mysterious French waif in Roman Polanski's underrated thriller. Did Dr. Richard Walker even want his kidnapped wife back?

21. Gloria- "Gloria"(1980) Gena Rowlands made eight movies with her director-husband John Cassavetes. Her gun-toting NYC mob moll may be the most accessible to a modern audience. Remade in 1999 by Sharon Stone and Sidney Lumet.

20. Lynda Dummar- "Melvyn and Howard"(1980) Mary Steenburgen is just wonderful. That doesn't get said enough. Jonathan Demme's fact-based comedy drama earned her the Best Supporting Oscar AND a 40 year acting career.

19. Glenda Parks- "Seems Like Old Times"(1980) God-damn, Goldie. This cute California lawyer beats out Private Judy Benjamin(also 1980) in the aptly-titled Neil Simon-scripted comedy. Chevy Chase or Charles Grodin? One thing's for sure, they don't make 'em like this anymore.

18. Wendy Torrance- "The Shining"(1980) Shelley Duvall was famously pushed over the limit by Stanley Kubrick and pretend-husband Jack Nicholson during an 11-month stay at the Overlook Hotel. The retired actress(a Robert Altman favorite) sadly died while I was finishing up this article. Her place in history is secure. "WENDY, LIGHT OF MY LIFE..."

16,17. Jake and Elwood Blues- "The Blues Brothers"(1980) Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi were on a mission from God. Who knows how many more movies would have starred the chummy SNL pair(Belushi perished in 1982).

15. Lisa- "Weird Science"(1985) Kelly LeBrock wasn't a REAL actress, but the Eileen Ford model entered the John Hughes canon and endless teen dreams as the original cyber babe. Steven Seagal was watching.

14. Dana Barrett- "Ghostbusters I and II"(1984,1989) Legend has it that Sigourney Weaver owned her audition for Ivan Reitman's masterework and was unafraid of the film's scary make-up/FX requirements. Her chemistry with Bill Murray was obvious, as was her beauty and poise in 1983. Dana turns into a dog, and takes on an evil painting that wants to possess her infant son. I think I'm going to take a break, and relive my childhood with Barrett and the 'busters right now.

13. Winston Zeddemore- "Ghostbusters I and II"(1984,1989) That's a big twinkie. Ernie Hudson is finally getting the respect he deserves for helping save NYC twice. He didn't show up to the set with the fame or comedy credentials of Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, or Harold Ramis but that didn't stop diehard fans from seeing him as their equal during endless rewatches of Ivan Reitman's franchise-starters. Jason Reitman knew it, when he made Winston the benefactor in 2021's warmly-received "Afterlife".

12. Samuel Lapp- "Witness"(1985) Is this the best child performance of the 1980s? Don't tell the Goonies I said that. Lukas Haas is still acting, and he has this pint-sized resident of Lancaster, Pennsylvania to thank. And this next guy...

11. John Book- "Witness"(1985) Harrison Ford left the comfort of Lucas and Spielberg and was rewarded with a Best Actor nomination. His only one. It doesn't seem right. Peter Weir's culture clash has romance, police drama, and subtle humor. What a wonderful world it would be if every movie had one of those award-worthy ingredients.

10. Diana- "Into the Night"(1985) Most woman shouldn't cut their hair too short. Most women aren't Michelle Pfeiffer. Her flighty jewel thief was a brilliant counterpoint to Elvira Hancock, insuring that the blonde beauty wouldn't get locked into limiting ice-queen roles. Diana and her red Michael Jackson jacket was a dream come true for Jeff Goldblum and John Landis and every late night channel surfer.

9. John Taggart- "Beverly Hills Cop I and II"(1984,1987) It happened just the way Axl Foley said, chief. John Ashton was only 36 when he played the straight man to Eddie Murphy in 1984's biggest hit, and killing Brigitte Nielsen in the super-charged sequel puts Taggart right there with Judge Reinhold on Foley's friend list. I know I speak for all film fans when I say that his absence from 1994's "Cop III" was unacceptable. The LONG-awaited fourth installment did at least one thing right.

8. Seth Brundle- "The Fly"(1986) Jeff Goldblum got his star-making role in David Cronenberg's creepy classic, after a decade on the rank-and-file working actor list(starting with 1974's "Death Wish"). Brundle and his big brain surely got Jeff his most significant assignment, in Steven Spielberg's "Jurassic Park". A four-year marriage to Geena Davis was icing on the cake. The '89 sequel, which replaces Goldblum with "son" Eric Stoltz, never stood a chance.

7. Julian Kaye- "American Gigolo"(1980) Richard Gere is a sexy guy, according to Julia Roberts, Cindy Crawford, and People magazine. Life just isn't fair. Long before it was the subject of a trashy reality show, writer-director Paul Schrader took adventurous viewers inside the world of male prostitution. The kind that service rich, attractive women. Is it too late for a career change? Gere is oddly comfortable in Kay's skin(first choice John Travolta was not). Fun fact- Giorgio Armani became one of Hollywood's top stylemakers because of "Gigolo".

6. Harry Burns- "When Harry Met Sally"(1989) Men and women can't be just friends. Billy Crystal laid out the rules and became an A-lister in the process in Rob Reiner's premiere romcom. Jerry Seinfeld and Jason Alexander were surely listening, to every walk-and-talk and diner dissection of relationship dynamics and social rituals. Nora Ephron's original script opted for a Woody Allen-esque separation from Meg Ryan's sunny Sally, but when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone... I hope you know the rest.

5. James Bond- "The Living Daylights", "License to Kill"(1987,1989) Let's hear it for two-time Bond Timothy Dalton, the precursor to Daniel Craig's no-nonsense super-spy. Unfortunately, there's a huge difference in the public's perception of those two heroes. I always felt a little bad for Dalton. A planned third outing in '91 really could have legitimized his tenure. Instead, a legal battle held up the series for three years, and the ultra-competitive '90s needed a new Bond when the matter was finally resolved. "Daylights" is better than "Kill", for all you 007 completists.

3,4. Crash Davis, Ray Kinsella - "Bull Durham", "Field of Dreams"(1988,1989) Kevin Costner and baseball. It just works. Writer-director Ron Shelton's love letter to the minor leagues made an A-lister out of the man that famously got cut from "The Big Chill" five years earlier. The future star of heavy epics like "Dances with Wolves" and "JFK" has never been more loose and likeable onscreen. The all-American stud then ignored naysayers that warned him about doing two baseball movies in a row. "FOD" is arguably even better, thanks to it's iconic Iowa diamond and feel-good Dad vibes. Two cinematic home runs in two years, and you don't even need a love of the game.

1,2. Jon Matrix, Dutch- "Commando", "Predator"(1985,1987) Arnold Schwarzenegger cemented his movie stardom with two of the most masculine heroes in movie history. Matrix was clearly designed to match Rambo(specifically "Part II") when he mowed down a dozen mall cops and a small army in a quest to save his kidnapped daughter(Alyssa Milano). Action-loving '80s fan-boys are forever grateful. Less than two years later, the dauntless Dutch led Carl Weathers and Jesse Ventura into the jungle to dance with a lethal alien creature. John McTiernan's macho masterpiece has seemingly grown in stature with each passing year that serves us sci-fi actioners that pale in comparison.