The Greatest Actresses of the '80s

Meryl Streep started the decade with huge momentum("The Deer Hunter" and "Kramer vs. Kramer" both won Best Picture) and quickly became an unstoppable acting force. Is she the GOAT? Well, "Sophie's Choice" may be the finest performance ever given by a woman, and the Best Actress Oscar was a foregone conclusion. I don't want to make this all about awards, but Streep got six nominations(1981,1982,1983,1985,1987,1988) in seven years. Mention that the next time you hear about Magic Johnson and Wayne Gretsky. "Silkwood" is a movie you should seek out, and "Out of Africa" is Sydney Pollack's

Michelle Pfeiffer's career almost ended before it started when "Grease 2" bombed in '82(it's since been reclaimed as a cult classic). Fortunately, Al Pacino and Brian De Palma weren't paying attention, and one of the greatest female stars of all time was born. Elvira Hancock was a coked-up hottie, but there was barely a trace of the iconic character in her underrated follow-up, the John Landis comedy "Into the Night". Pfeiffer was further prepped for the A-list with "The Witches of Eastwick", one of the ten biggest hits of 1987. No actress ever had a better year than Pfeiffer did in '88- "Married to the Mob", Tequila Sunrise", and Dangerous Liasons" all showed a different side of her talent and were popular with critics AND audiences. To borrow a line from Tony Montana, the world was hers as the decade came to a close. "The Fabulous Baker Boys" had Roger Ebert comparing her to Marilyn Monroe, and her piano-top rendition of "Makin' Whoopie" remains one of the sexiest movie moments.

Kathleen Turner made one of the great debuts at age 27 as cheating Florida housewife Matty Walker in Lawrence Kasdan's "Body Heat". Which makes it almost shocking that her leading lady run was over a decade later. But we're hear to talk about the Reagan era, which included "Romancing the Stone" and it's sequel "The Jewel of the Nile", a popular two-fer that positioned Michael Douglas for movie stardom("The War of the Roses" made in an unofficial trilogy in '89). Turner went to work for Frances Ford Coppola and John Huston at her peak, and her sexy voice was immortalized in the Bob Zemeckis era-defining blockbuster "Who Framed Roger Rabbit".

This Georgia model overcame her shyness to start an acting career in '70s television, before breaking out as a Bond Girl opposite an aging Sean Connery in 1983. But unlike most of the lovely ladies in that franchise, Kim Basinger was just getting started. From 1984-87, she worked with Robert Redford("The Natural"), got a priceless confidence boost from Robert Altman and Sam Shepherd("Fool for Love"), became a sex goddess in "9 1/2 Weeks", as was just as good as Jeff Bridges in "Nadine". Then came the third biggest movie of the decade. Basinger will always be best known as brave photographer Vicki Vale in Tim Burton's "Batman". The '90s were not as kind, but she weathered a string of flops to win the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for "L.A. Confidential".

Is Alex Forrest the single greatest female character of the '80s?

The former TV star lived up to her late '70s promise with two Best Actress trophies in five years. We like her.

She gave her best performance in Warren Beatty's "Reds", and "Baby Boom" was a late '80s cable classic.

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The '80s were good to Goldie, thanks to "Private Benjamin", "Seems Like Old Times", and "Overboard".

Daryl Hannah- Today's kids will never understand how famous she was. "Blade Runner", "Splash", "Roxanne", and "Wall Street" are all rewatchables.

The queen of the '70s worked a lot less with Reagan in office(exercise tapes aside). She still produced "On Golden Pond", 1981's second-biggest hit.

Remember when Cher was an actress? The 1987 Academy Awards do.

"Urban Cowboy", "An Officer and a Gentleman", and "Terms of Endearment" had this talented brunette looking like Meryl Streep's biggest threat. Then...(crickets).

Critics dismissed the former model in 1976's "King Kong". Less than twenty years later, she had six Oscar nominations(and two wins).

She broke out big with "Raising Arizona" and "Broadcast News", and peaked with a 1993 Best Actress win for "The Piano".

She blew Kelly McGillis off the screen(in a much smaller role) in "Top Gun". Three years later, we all had what she was having.

From "The Karate Kid" to "Back to the Future Part II", the amiable Shue was at the forefront of under-30 actresses.

Marty McFly's Mom had all the right moves, and was kind of wonderful. I hear "Howard the Duck" is a cult film.

Ted Danson's future wife won the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for 1980's "Melvin and Howard" and went on to become an all-time character actress.

One of the decade's signature young stars, and she owes it all to John Hughes.

The 100 Greatest Characters of the 2000s

Just to clarify, these are the greatest characters of the decade that started on January 1st 2000 and ended on December 31st 2009. You'll be sure to see Thor, Captain America, and Harley Quinn when I do the 2010s someday. Character is everything, in life and in movies. It's a long list, so let's get to it.

100. Wilson- "Cast Away"(2000) Chuck Noland wouldn't have made it off that island without the world's most famous blood-stained volleyball. Tom Hanks and Robert Zemeckis made us care about 'him' more than it should have been possible to, so say it loud- "WILSON!!!"

99. Scrat- "Ice Age" franchise(2002,2006,2009) This saber-toothed, acorn-obsessed squirrell immediately let me know I was watching a quality animated film from the upstart Blue Sky Studios.

98(tie). Optimus Prime/Bumblebee- The "Transformers" franchise(2007,2009) It's not that easy coming up with 100 characters, so Michael Bay's blockbusting Bots made the cut(Shia LaBeouf did not). Now which is the one that never shuts up?

97. Gracie Hart- "Miss Congeniality 1 and 2"(2000,2005) We really like Sandra Bullock. That's one thing that didn't change as the '90s turned into the 2000s. Not even a critically-derided sequel(the usually-kind Roger Ebert called it unnecessary) could keep her undercover FBI agent down.

96. Robert Langdon- "The Da Vinci Code", "Angels and Demons"(2006,2009) Tom Hanks strikes a heroic pose(and an unfortunate head of hair) as the professor-hero of his old pal Ron Howard's franchise starter. "The Da Vinci Code" and it's substantial hype got your parents in the theater the first weekend it was out. They never go to the movies.

95. Sherlock Holmes- "Sherlock Holmes"(2009) Guy Ritchie made one good movie according to my research(unless you're counting his 2011 sequel, that's all I'll allow). Robert Downey Jr.'s comeback included a hip update of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's literary creation. Where's #3?

94. Frank Martin- The "Transporter" franchise(2002,2005,2008) I'm not a big Jason Statham guy, but I believe in democracy. His ex-Special Forces operative muscled his way onto more than a few DVD racks.

93. Manfred- The "Ice Age" franchise(2002,2006,2009) That's right, "Ice Age" was a pleasant surprise. I'm glad it's sequels gave Ray Romano's woolly mammoth something to do.

92. Sid- The "Ice Age" franchise(2002,2006,2009) Yes, John Leguizamo made a 'best of' list, and I'm as shocked as you are.

91. Donnie Darko- "Donnie Darko"(2001) A brooding Jake Gyllenhaal was destined for stardom, and it all started with the DVD release of this cult classic. His director Richard Kelly? Not so much.

90. Derek Zoolander- "Zoolander"(2001) Ben Stiller is a funny guy. He made 18 comedies in the '00s, and a few are them were good. His oblivious male model and his steely blue gaze helped get my mind off of the gloomy 9/11 news cycle.

89. Hellboy- "Hellboy", "Hellboy II: The Golden Army"(2004,2008) Ron Perlman hasn't been replaced by David Harbour's 2019 reboot as the hulking half-demon hero of underground comic book fame. Director Guillermo del Toro tried unsuccessfully to give him a trilogy for nearly ten years.

88. Lara Croft- "Lara Croft: Tomb Raider", "Lara Croft: The Cradle of Life"(2001,2003) A twenty-something year old Angelina Jolie looked amazing as the globetrotting video game heroine that had teenage boys hooked since 1996. If only her movies had been good. What a missed opportunity.

87. Riddick- "Pitch Black", "The Chronicles of Riddick"(2000,2004) Vin Diesel really wanted this goggled mercenary to become an action/sci-fi icon. You decide.

86. Jigsaw- The "Saw" franchise(2004,2005,2006,2007,2008,2009) The '70s gave us Leatherface and Michael Myers. The '80s gave us Freddy and Jason. The '90s gave us Ghostface, and the '00s gave us the twisted Tobin Bell and his torturous mind games. The teenage population doesn't know any better.

85. Clementine Kruczynski- "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"(2004) Jim Carrey may have wanted to forget Kate Winslet, but we don't. She's just a fucked-up girl, looking for her own piece of mind. Don't assign her yours.

84. Warren Schmidt- "About Schmidt"(2002) Jack Nicholson's 66 year old sad-sack retiree reminded us what a great actor he is. Of course, intelligent viewers never needed one. Alexander Payne's Oscar nominee inspired a series of movies about introspective old guys("Last Chance Harvey", "Everybody's Fine", "Danny Collins"). "Schmidt" is easily the best.

83. Jack Cole- "Sideways"(2004) Speaking of Alexander Payne, he handed Thomas Hayden Church a glass of wine and a movie career in this mid-life crisis classic. Jack is an aging actor with a sharp tongue and the sexual appetite of a teenager. Not even an overweight, married waitress is safe from his libido. Sometimes, you just need a friend like that.

82. Precious- "Precious"(2009) Gabourey Sidibe would have had a big career in an industry kinder to big girls(shout out to "Hairspray" star Nikki Blonsky). This is honest, authentic acting from a performer with no prior experience.

81. Napolean Dynamite- "Napolean Dynamite"(2004) There was a period where Jon Heder's high school nerd seemed destined for Ferris Bueller-like longevity(I guess we'll have to wait and see). This is a small, quirky movie that went to the head of the comedy class.

80. Carl Fredricksen- "Up"(2009) Ed Asner got two great roles- Lou Grant("The Mary Tyler Moore" show is on HULU) and an elderly widower that turns his house into a makeshift airship with thousands of helium balloons. Pixar had moviegoers, young and old, taking the trip to South America with him.

79. Alex- "Madagascar", "Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa"(2005,2008) Ben Stiller's loud-mouthed lion is the standout in a DreamWorks ensemble that includes a zebra voiced by Chris Rock and a hippo voiced by Jada Pinkett Smith. No small feat. We have another animated franchise on our hands.

78. Alan- "The Hangover"(2009) This bearded scene-stealer gave Zach Galifianakis a movie career(and arguably helped Bradley Cooper get one too). Every man in America wanted in on the Wolfpack.

77. Borat Sagdiyev- "Borat"(2006) Sascha Baron Cohen broke new ground in the best mockumentary since "Spinal Tap". This Kazakhstan reporter was out for a sexy time during his 2005 U.S. tour. Borat came back in 2020, and I think everyone was glad to see him, except maybe Rudy Giuliani.

76. Andy Stitzer- "The 40 Year Old Virgin"(2005) Being a middle-aged virgin will never be as much fun as it was when Steve Carell did it, with a hairy chest and an extensive toy collection. Writer-director Judd Apatow took over film comedy for a while. That started here.

75. Bernie Focker- "Meet the Fockers"(2004) I'm glad the great Dustin Hoffman got one last good one. Gaylord's touchy-feely father was the funniest thing in this huge hit sequel.

74. Willie T. Soke- "Bad Santa"(2003) Billy Bob Thornton's improbable rise culminated with this crass department store Santa whose habits I can hardly describe. Okay, booze, bullshit, buttfucking. Merry Christmas.

73. Buddy- "Elf"(2003) Make some room, Chevy Chase, we have another Christmas staple over here. Will Ferrell reportedly turned down huge money to reprise his increasingly-popular role as Santa's overgrown, easily-excited helper. We don't see that kind of restraint that much anymore.

72. Benjamin Franklin Gates- "National Treasure", "National Treasure: Book of Secrets"(2004,2007) If only Nick Cage's cerebral treasure hunter could figure out what the hell happened to his career. The quirky Oscar winner gave into his worst instincts as we went from Bush to Obama, trading his Disney star status for utter dreck, with a blinding speed that would make Burt Reynolds blush.

71. Puss in Boots- "Shrek 2"(2004) Antonio Banderas' best role? I think so. Keep in mind that the second "Shrek" generated $436 million in the United States(IN '04). Puss had a little something to do with that.

70. Remy- "Ratatouille"(2007) Leave it to Pixar to make a rat appealing. Patton Oswalt's pint-sized Paris chef had the right ingredients, and kept their winning streak alive.

69. Po- "Kung Fu Panda"(2008) What a fruitful era in animation. Jack Black's black-and-white animal is pretty self-explanatory. Ancient China needed a hero, and the kids needed another babysitter. Mark down another win for DreamWorks.

68. Dewey Finn- "School of Rock"(2003) This hyperactive hard rocker beat out Barry Judd from "High Fidelity" for this spot, because Richard Linklater's musical comedy has gotta be the best movie that Jack Black ever did. He knows it too, which is why he's turned down multiple sequel suggestions. "The Legend of the Rent" was just too special.

67. Gaylord Focker- "Meet the Parents", "Meet the Fockers"(2000,2004) Ben Stiller's put-upon nurse has got to be considered a triumph for every male that ever entered that profession. Puff the magic dragon, and revisit Jay Roach's double feature(and skip 2010's "Little Fockers").

66. Dave Boyle- "Mystic River"(2003) Tim Robbins' tortured depiction of a sex abuse survivor is one of two performances that made this Clint Eastwood drama one of 2003's must-see films. What has he been up to lately?

65. Jimmy Markum- "Mystic River"(2003) "IS THAT HIS DAUGHTER IN THERE? IS SHE IN THERE??!!" Sean Penn is as volcanic as ever, and that's really saying something, as a Boston ex-con forced back into his old ways by a family tragedy. The result- a well-deserved Best Actor Oscar(sorry, Bill Murray).

64. Bruce Banner/The Hulk- "Hulk", "The Incredible Hulk"(2003,2008) I know Mark Ruffalo did it best in 2012. But two forgotten "Hulk" movies preceded that, so let's give Eric Bana and Edward Norton just a little love.

63. Patrick Bateman- "American Psycho"(2000) A fearless Christian Bale blasted Phil Collins and loudly announced his arrival as an unpredictable headliner as soon as the decade got underway. It's hard to say if Bale would have gotten there without this Bret Easton Ellis antihero.

62. Sgt. William James- "The Hurt Locker"(2009) Jeremy Renner's quiet charisma was the explosive center of Kathryn Bigelow's Best Picture winner. This is as close as most of us are willing to get to Iraq. If war is a drug, James is one scary addict.

61. Javier Rodriguez- "Traffic"(2000) Benecio del Toro officially entered the mainstream as this Mexican border policeman, the low-key MVP of Steve Soderbergh's stupendous study of the 'War on Drugs'. Rodriguez risked his life to keep a few kids off them, and onto the relative safety of a lit-up baseball diamond.

60. Walt Kowalski- "Gran Torino"(2008) Clint Eastwood wants you off his lawn. Just when you think the laconic legend is ready to wind it down, he gives us a cantankerous, bigoted Korean War veteran whose actually likeable.

59. Velma Kelly- "Chicago"(2002) Catherine Zeta-Jones threw herself into this Rob Marshall musical, aiding in it's 2002 Oscar upset. The brunette beauty put her hair in a bob, belted out "All That Jazz", and gave me a boner.

58. Hector Barbosa- "Pirates of the Carribean" franchise(2003,2006,2007) I hope you like ghost stories. You're in one. Geoffrey Rush's undead pirate villain was so popular, the hugely successful "Pirates" sequels brought the Oscar winner back in a heroic role.

57. Leticia Musgrove- "Monster's Ball"(2002) Halle Berry made us feel good, with a historic Best Actress victory for this feel-bad indie sensation. Leticia has an obese son, a death-row hubby(Sean Combs), and an eviction notice on her door. I think I'm in love.

56. Samwise Gamgee- "The Lord of the Rings" franchise(2001,2002,2003) Sean Astin's lovable hobbit is the ultimate sidekick. To some, he's a Goonie, to others, he's Rudy. To everyone else, he's Frodo's loyal companion on a nine-hour trip to Mount Doom in the Black Land of Mordor.

55. Bad Blake- "Crazy Heart"(2009) This alcoholic, washed-up country music star bagged Jeff Bridges a well-deserved Best Actor Oscar, and is probably second to only The Dude on his list of greatest roles. It's funny how falling feels like flying.

54. Miranda Priestley- "The Devil Wears Prada"(2006) The amazing thing about Meryl Streep is that she's just as active and vital over the age of 50 as she was in her 20s and 30s. The 21-time Oscar nominee doesn't hit one false note as this icy fashion magazine editor.

53. William Costigan- "The Departed"(2006) I thought hard about including Nicholson's nasty career criminal Frank Costello, but Jack is effortlessly good, and I wanted to be fair to the younger generation. Leonardo Di Caprio's livewire portrayal of an undercover cop deeply embedded in the Boston underworld arguably made him the leader of it.

52. Ennis Del Mar- "Brokeback Mountain"(2005) Heath Ledger's heartbreaking portrayal of sexual confusion and forbidden love made one thing very clear- we lost this cowboy way too soon.

51(tie). Bella Swann, Edward Cullen- "The Twilight" franchise(2008,2009) I know I'm getting some eyerolls right now, but these two teen tortured souls were inescapable during Obama's first term. Helping my decision is the fact that Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart both evolved into highly capable actors.

50. Mia Thermapolis- "The Princess Diaries", "The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement"(2001,2004) Director Garry Marshall(R.I.P.) gave Anne Hathaway a movie career, in much the same way he anointed Julia Roberts, 11 years earlier. From total unknown to Oscar hostess, Genovia's gawky girl did good.

49. Juno MacGuff- "Juno"(2007) Ellen Page's pregnant teen was ready for the big show. Her witty wisecracks(courtesy of Diablo Cody's Best Original Screenplay) made Jason Reitman Hollywood's newest wonderboy.

48. Sweeney Todd- "Sweeney Todd"(2007) How much did we all love Johnny Depp in the 2000s? So much so, that the fact he can't sing didn't matter one bit. "Todd" is definitely among the top half of his many collaborations with Tim Burton.

47. Penny Lane- "Almost Famous"(2000) A 20 year old Kate Hudson is her mother's daughter in Cameron Crowe's love letter to the rock 'n' roll scene of the 1970s. This "band-aid" was never better.

46. David Dunn- "Unbreakable"(2000) M. Night Shyamalan's low-key superhero movie has gotten quite the repuation boost in recent years. One could argue that a subdued Bruce Willis hit his career peak alongside the polarizing writer-director.

45. "The Grinch- "Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas"(2000) The application of Rick Baker's Oscar-winning make-up and spandex suit took eight hours a day, turning Jim Carrey into a real-life Grinch on the set. It was worth it. Ron Howard's adaptation of Dr. Suess was the highest domestic earner of the year.

44. "WALL-E"(2008) Andrew Stanton's silent trash compactor roams a 29th Century garbage dump called Earth and gives Pixar a new level of prestige.

43. Lightning McQueen- "Cars"(2006) Owen Wilson's red race-car was a merchandising giant, generating $10 BILLION in global retail sales. Wow.

42. Dory- "Finding Nemo"(2003) Ellen DeGeneres had a great 2003. The same year her daytime talk show launched, this forgetful fish granted her pop culture omnipresence. 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney!

41. Jake Sully- "Avatar"(2009) Expect Sam Worthington's paraplegic Marine hero to achieve greater pop culture prominence when James Cameron unleashes those "Avatar" sequels in the '20s. Jake isn't the only one that would rather live on Pandora.

40. Bob Barnes- "Syriana"(2005) George Clooney suffered for his art as a grizzled CIA agent that keeps getting pulled into the Middle Eastern quagmire. After a torture scene turned into the real thing, a cracked skull and a back/neck tears caused debilitating pain, that left the hospital-bound star contemplating suicide.

39. Danny Ocean- The "Ocean's" franchise(2001,2004,2007) On a lighter note, Clooney's smooth ex-con makes a casino heist seem as casual as a trip to the grocery store in Steve Soderbergh's cool new classic. You can have Frank Sinatra.

38. Eddie 'Scrap-Iron' Dupris- "Million Dollar Baby"(2004) Morgan Freeman finally won, the Best Supporting Actor Oscar that is, for his weathered, half-blind gym-dwelling sidekick to Clint Eastwood in their second of three collaborations. Scrap can still throw down, as Anthony Mackie's cocky ass finds out. "MDB" is a masterpiece.

36,37. Mike and Sulley- "Monster's Inc."(2001) Billy Crystal recently said this green one-eyed monster may be his favorite role. John Goodman's wavy blue fur is a feast for the eyes. This Pixar pair has a new show on Disney+, that I hope your kids prefer to YouTube.

35. Staff Sergeant Dignam- "The Departed"(2006) I'm the guy that does his job. You must be the other guy. Astonishingly, Mark Wahlberg scored the only acting Oscar nomination in a Scorsese Best Picture winner with arguably the best cast of the decade. Staff Sergeant Dignum steals every scene he's in, with a series of increasingly quotable insults. What's going on with that sequel/spin-off?

34. Bryan Mills- "Taken"(2009) "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can I can tell you I don't have any money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you".

33. Alfred Pennyworth- "Batman Begins", "The Dark Knight"(2005,2008) Bruce's trusted butler is always waiting in the Batcave with bandages and sage advice. Michael Caine was the perfect Pennyworth, complete with a British army backstory. There's a reason he became Chris Nolan's go-to guy.

32. Anton Chigurgh- "No Country For Old Men"(2007) Javier Bardem and his bad haircut are burned into our brains in the Coen brothers' instant classic. There are bad guys, and there's THIS GUY. Are we sure he's human? A coin toss was never more terrifying.

31. Hans Landa- "Inglorious Basterds"(2009) Speaking of star-making villainy, a 52 year old Christoph Waltz was unknown to U.S. audiences when he walked into a French farmhouse as this deceptively-polite Nazi. Thanks to a hungry Quentin Tarantino("Grindhouse" bombed), that would never be the case again.

30. Jack Byrnes- "Meet the Parents", "Meet the Fockers"(2000,2004) Robert De Niro's human lie detector was his best role in an otherwise bumpy decade. The inflexible Byrnes and his beloved cat Jinx won't let you in their Circle of Trust, at least not without going through hell first. Father-in-laws don't come any funnier or more steadfast than this CIA retiree.

29. Commodus- "Gladiator"(2000) Joaquin Phoenix was heading for the hall of fame as the sniveling, cowardly son of Marcus Aurelius, and has as much to do with the rewatchable status of this Best Picture winner as the Australian stud at it's center(who will get to). He's an awful brother, a terrible uncle, and an terrific villain.

28. Mr. Glass- "Unbreakable"(2000) Sam Jackson's brittle bad guy can sit next to Jules Winfield and Nick Fury whenever the omnipresent icon's career is discussed. M. Night Shyamalan deserves credit for creating his own mythology.

27. Randy 'The Ram' Robinson- "The Wrestler"(2008) Career vindication came in the form of a broken-down, washed-up pro wrestler for the similarly broken-down, washed up Mickey Rourke. Darren Aronofsky's critical darling was a long overdue treat for everyone that had the brooding actor pegged as a major player in the '80s. Sean Penn took the '08 Best Actor Oscar, and the self-sabatoging Rourke has since slid back into oblivion, but we'll always have Ram Jam.

26. Elle Woods- "Legally Blonde", "Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde"(2001,2003) Is there a more lovable female in film than the unlikeliest Harvard law student of all time? I could watch Reese Witherspoon's pink princess bend and snap all day(I think I did once, during the all-day ppv era). It goes without saying that Elle's repuation rests entirely with the 2001 original, unless Reese can recapture the magic in the recently-rumored "LB3".

25. Ron Burgundy- "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy"(2004) Ron Will Ferrell and writer-director Adam McKay may have ended their alliance, but you don't get one without the other. This pompous network newsman and his hilarious sexism is kind of a big deal, and pumped more quotes into the air than any comedic property this side of Austin Powers. San Diego is where he stays classy, with a bottle of Scotch, a '70s wardrobe, and an inner circle of future superstars(Steve Carrell, Paul Rudd). Don't act like you're not impressed.

24. Bridget Jones- "Bridget Jones' Diary", "Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason"(2001,2004) She may have two Oscars for other roles, but London's most watchable woman made Renee Zellweger an indigenous icon. Bridget's wit and spinster self-awareness make her one of the most flesh-and-blood females ever gifted to the film world, and she has the sequels to prove it. Jones vows to lose twenty pounds and quit smoking, while her signature diary documents a love triangle with Colin Firth and Hugh Grant. I'm a man, and I had to know how that played out.

23. Gandalf- "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy(2001,2002,2003) Sean Connery turned down the role that would have extended his career by at least a decade. I'd like to take this time to thank him. Ian McKellen should have won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for the part it's now impossible to picture anyone else playing half as effectively. This Brit was born to embody Gandalf, the wizard whose adventures he was VERY familiar with(he claims to read Tolkien's text every year). You shall not pass.

22. Bill 'The Butcher' Cutting- "Gangs of New York"(2002) Daniel-Day Lewis is dynamite as the grizzled gang leader that drives Martin Scorsese's most ambitious production circa 2000. It took twenty years and $100 million to transport us to the tribal chaos of 19th Century NY. The Butcher is the main reason the blu-ray gathers dust on my shelf.

21. Alonzo Harris- "Training Day"(2001) King Kong has got nothing on him. The ever-dependable Denzel Washington spent much of the '90s playing morally-upright heroes. That's what made his turn to the dark side so electrifying, as 9/11 left us desperate for distraction. This LAPD livewire allowed Denzel to behave the way Sidney Poitier was never allowed to- there's no changing the channel as he steals drug money, befriends gang members, and beats the hell out of Ethan Hawke. Sometimes, the Oscars get it right.

20. Jim Gordon- "Batman Begins", "The Dark Knight"(2005,2008) Just how GOOD of an actor is Gary Oldman? He was best known for playing slimy creeps just a few short years before embodying Gotham's noblest(official) crimefighter. With all due respect to Alan Napier and Pat Hingle, we won't be granted a better Jim Gordon if they make a hundred more Batman movies.

19. Daniel Plainview- "There Will Be Blood"(2007) Daniel-Day Lewis, why the FUCK are you retired?! I know you'll never read this, and you could never do a superhero film, but c'mon, man. The movie business could use your services right about now. If only roles like this crazed oil man with his milkshake monologues and writer-directors like Paul Thomas Anderson came along more often.

18. Neytiri- "Avatar"(2009) Zoe Saldana would be the biggest actress in the world if her best roles weren't franchise-friendly aliens that require heavy make-up and/or performance capture technology. Can somebody write her a romcom?

17. Aragorn- "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy(2001,2002,2003) Viggo Mortensen was SO ready for his close-up when Stuart Townsend proved an inadequate Strider(he debuted in 1985's "Witness" with that other cool late-bloomer Harrison Ford). Aragorn is a lover and a fighter, and(spoiler alert!), the one true king. Middle-earth obsessives still bow before him.

16. Donkey- The "Shrek" franchise"(2001,2004,2007) This wisecracking ass is right up there with Axl Foley, Akeem, and Sherman Klump, if you want to talk about Eddie Murphy's funniest creations. The motor-mouthed Donkey will talk your ear off on just about anything, and you could argue he had as much to do with this series' mammoth success as it's title character(he's coming). Sidekicks don't come more side-splitting, animated or otherwise.

15. Maximus- "Gladiator"(2000) Russell Crowe inherited the manly movie mantle from Mel Gibson as the first great hero of the new millenium. Yes, Maximus is fictional, but that didn't stop Ridley Scott's swords-and-sandals sensation at the Oscars OR the summer box office. We may never see that again. Whether he's leading a Roman army or slaying opponents at the Colisseum, you'll be thoroughly entertained.

14. The Bride/Beatrix Kiddo- "Kill Bill Vol. I and II"(2003,2004) Uma Thurman owes a lot to her "Pulp Fiction" partner Quentin Tarantino. It was on the set of that '94 classic that the duo conjured up Beatrix Kiddo, the greatest heroine of this or(possibly) any other era. The Bride's bloody quest for revenge couldn't be contained to one film, and their epic two-parter loudly announced QT's love of old-school martial arts action(and the loss of Daryl Hannah's left eye). There's a reason those Vol. III rumors haven't quieted.

13. Bruce Wayne/Batman- "Batman Begins", "The Dark Knight"(2005,2008) We've seen a lot of Batmen over the years. As of this writing, Christian Bale is the best one. His Bruce Wayne ditched college and Katie Holmes to train for seven years with the League of Shadows before going into business for himself. Okay, that growl was a bit much, but a bulky Bale rescued DC's flagship property from the post-Schumacher purgatory that Bat fans over age 30 feared would never end. So far, he's resisted the reunion/multiverse trend. Stay tuned.

12. James Bond- "Casino Royale", "Quantum of Solace"(2006,2008) Daniel Craig is the best Bond. There, I said it. With all due respect to Sean Connery's earth-shattering work in the '60s, he didn't have dozens of other heroes to duke it out with at the multiplex or your DVD rack. Craig's 'James Blonde'(as the press dismissively dubbed him in '05) is the most bad-ass iteration of 007 in the franchise's complete reinvention "Casino Royale", and not even the maligned "Quantum of Solace" could curtail his momentum. He didn't give a damn if his martini was shaken or stirred during his fifteen-year tenure(the longest consecutive Bond stretch). Here's hoping he went out on a high note in "No Time to Die".

11. Gollum- "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy(2001,2002,2003) Andy Serkis should've won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his mesmerizing mo-cap work in "The Two Towers"(sorry, Chris Cooper). He wasn't even nominated, as if the nasty Smeagal needed another reason to get upset. The wiry Serkis pioneered a new style of acting, one that has only increased in prevalence since he answered that fateful call from Peter Jackson in '99. To millions of movie fans, Gollum will always be precious.

10. Frodo Baggins- "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy(2001,2002,2003) It's unlikely that another young actor would have brought as much warmth and sensitivity to J.R.R. Tolkien's protagonist as Elijah Wood did when he packed his bags for New Zealand. The incorruptible Frodo is everyone's favorite hobbit, and the soothing center of this titanic trilogy. Orcs, Black Riders, and a raging Gollum couldn't break the spirit of this Bag End resident. The Ring of Power never had a prayer.

9. Shrek- The "Shrek" franchise(2001,2004,2007) Chris Farley was originally hired to voice the green goliath who was originally based on a 1990 children's book. Some things just work out for the best. His SNL castmate Mike Myers breathed inimitable life into the DreamWorks dynamo that evened the animated playing field at the '01 summer box office. This ugly ogre was an all-ages sensation, and his sequels were even bigger(but not better). Shrek left the solitude of his swamp and subverted the entire notion of fairy tales and cartoon movies. Disney must hate him.

8. Jason Bourne- The "Bourne" franchise(2002,2004,2007) Matt Damon admitted that his post-"Good Will Hunting" glow was starting to dim a bit in the early 2000s("All the Pretty Horses", anyone?). Then he was cast as Robert Ludlum's amnesiac ass-kicker. Bourne's silent edge was an antidote to the increasing silliness of the Brosnan Bond era, and we may have him to thank for Pierce's replacement. The 2002 original was a surprise hit, but the Paul Greengrass-directed sequels really put him over the top, in terms of action and tickets sold. Car crashes and close-quarters fight scenes barely faze Bourne while he squares off with evil government types. This timely hero claimed a new generation, as arguably the Rambo of the '00s.

7. Dom Toretto- "The Fast and the Furious" franchise(2001,2006,2009) Vin Diesel has played this chrome-domed cool rider so many times(eight, to be exact), that I can't even find a good picture from the first movie. Dom muscled his way into the top-10 by sheer franchise force, and I admit to being a little dismayed by that. But Toretto is the total tough-guy package, a fast(and furious) fugitive that hates sleeves and loves his "family", and is sure to power through movie marathons for decades to come, with globe-trotting adventures that even 007 would deem absurd. And to think, he started out stealing DVD players.

6. Logan/Wolverine- The "X-Men" franchise(2000,2003,2006,2009) I'd like to thank "Mission Impossible II" for not allowing Dougray Scott to take this role in '99. Twenty years later, it's impossible to imagine anyone else clawing around as Marvel's coolest hero. Remember that miniature version of Logan with the yellow spandex, first seen in '70s comics? Neither does anyone else at this point. A song-and-dance man isn't supposed to be this bad-ass. Bryan Singer and James Mangold put Jackman in the superhero hall of fame at the conclusion of his 17 year cinematic journey. His inevitable successors are bound to resemble all those Christopher Reeve replacements.

5. Peter Parker/Spider-Man- The "Spider-Man" trilogy(2002,2004,2007) Believe it or not, it took ten years to bring Marvel's beloved webslinger to the big screen. Don't let anyone tell you that Tobey Maguire wasn't worth the wait. Today's kids are too spoiled by this superhero-saturated climate to fully understand the elation that audiences felt as Nickelback blared over the end credits of packed screenings in 2002. Director Sam Raimi(a self-professed super-fan) made us root for this shy kid from Queens as he pined for Mary Jane and waged war with the Green Goblin, Doc Ock, Sandman, and Venom(in that order). It seems like so long ago, but we would have joined him for a fourth outing if Sony hadn't hit the reboot button. Maguire's Peter Parker was the purveyor of our post-9/11 escapism, a time when we needed it the most. Take that, Tom Holland.

4. The Joker- "The Dark Knight"(2008) Heath Ledger's interpretation of Batman's arch-nemesis seems to grow more godly with each passing year. A frightening force of nature with no known origin, this grungy anarchist and his pencil trick stroll into a mob meeting from the depths of hell and casually announces his intention to "Kill The Batman". But plunging his beloved city into utter chaos quickly proved more fun for him AND US. Legend has it that Heath secluded himself prior to filming to nail down his voice and mannerisms, well aware of the weight of previous portrayals. Everyone has a favorite Joker(yours may even be Joaquin Phoenix), but Ledger's last completed role will likely stand a little taller than the rest, on the Mt. Rushmore of movie villainy where only the likes of Norman Bates, Hannibal Lecter, and Darth Vader reside.

3. Harry Potter- The "Harry Potter" franchise(2001,2002,2004,2005,2007,2009) I'm not going to pretend to be an expert on J.K. Rowling's wizard world. I haven't read a paragraph of the books, and wonder if I would have become obsessed with this franchise if I had been 11 years old when "The Sorcerer's Stone" came out(I was 21). Regardless, these movies were massive, and Harry was the decade's freshest young face. Daniel Radcliffe's life changed when Chris Columbus chose him over thousands of pint-sized British hopefuls on Aug 21st, 2000. I'm told that Alfonso Cuaron's "Prisoner of Azkaban" is the darkest and best of the eight-film series, and one day I hope to have the time to confirm that. This Hogwarts hero waved his magic wand and put every elementary schooler alive under his spell.

2. Tony Stark- "Iron Man"(2008) In 2007, Robert Downey Jr. was a really talented actor, more famous for multiple drug arrests than his Oscar-nominated performance in 1992's "Chaplin" or any of those '80s teen movies. Director Jon Favraeu had to fight for his 42 year old star, and I'd like to thank him on behalf of Disney's accountants and billions of fan-boys worldwide. We wouldn't have a Marvel Universe if not for the intelligence, humor, and tangible life experience that a weathered Downey brought to industrialist-inventor Tony Stark(try imagining a young hotshot in the role. Wouldn't work.). We're talking about the greatest comeback the industry has ever seen. Iron Man instantly became an A-list superhero in the summer of '08, and nothing's been the same at the cinema since. Good luck to the next guy that wears his red-and-yellow armor.

1. Jack Sparrow- The "Pirates of the Caribbean" franchise(2003,2006,2007) Johnny Depp's most iconic role is number one, because he isn't based on a novel or a comic book. Captain Jack is a wholly original creation that took the world by storm, amplified his already sizeable popularity, birthed a five-film franchise, and made pirates cool. That's because everything Johnny did was cool, back when George W. Bush was President, and any changes that came in the last ten years or so doesn't change the fact that we all wanted to be a part of the Black Pearl's crew. Legend has it that Disney execs disapproved of Depp's acting choices when they got a look at the dailies, as if we needed another reason to distrust uncreative corporate types. The savvy Sparrow maintains his drunken swag, whether he's facing Barbarossa's ghost ship or the sinister East India Trading Company or the purgatory of Davy Jones' Locker. Nobody knew that 18th Century seafaring rogues resembled rock stars until a prime Johnny played one. A pirate's life for me.