Franchise Review- A Nightmare on Elm Street

   It's the 30th anniversary of everyone's favorite fedora-wearing, razor-clawed child killer. Freddy Krueger is a pop culture icon. I can't say I'm happy to report that, but it's true. He's appeared in nine films(so far) since his entry into the pop culture landscape on November 9, 1984. It's Halloween(just go with it), so please join me as I recap his silver screen history. I can't do it alone.

"A Nightmare on Elm Street"(1984)
Wes Craven passed up the life on an East Coast college professor to enter the uncertain world of filmmaking in the early 1970s, beginning his industry training with a behind-the-scenes stint in pornography(which is fitting in a way). After turning heads with micro-budgeted horror hits like "The Last House on the Left" and "The Hills Have Eyes", a newspaper article about Cambodian refugees having disturbing nightmares(a few actually died in their sleep) provided the jumping-off point for Craven's career-defining creation. Robert Englund is relatively subdued and humorless in his first stint as the embodiment of evil(that's a compliment), ultimately achieving the kind of nasty notoriety not seen since the early days of Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing. Krueger killed a future A-list hearthrob named Johnny Depp in his debut flick. That has to count for something.

   There's only two films in this felonious franchise that can be discussed with anything that remotely resembles reverence, and 1984's "Elm Street" is certainly one of them. Coupled with 1978's seminal "Halloween", it's now regarded as the high watermark of a rather dubious slasher cycle(I'm looking at you, Jason). The fact is that Craven never wanted Krueger to join his hockey mask-wearing counterpart as an ominous omnipresence. But in the wake of their first real revenue in nearly a decade, the fledging New Line Cinema(aka The House That Freddy Built) didn't really care what Wes wanted.

"A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge"(1985)
This first in a LONG line of sequels was clearly rushed into production to capitalize on the first film's surprising success, which was par for the course in the land of '80s horror. Strike while the iron is hot(or cold, no matter). Freddy is apparently out for revenge if the title is to be believed, odd considering the lack of continuity and returning cast members in this sophmore outing. The bastardization of Craven's initial concept began with this film's curious homosexual subtext(females NEED to star in these things, it isn't rocket science). At least we rarely remember our dreams. For proponents of quality cinema, Krueger would become a recurring nightmare.

"A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors"(1987)
"Welcome to prime time, bitch"! Freddy's greatest line? It sure set the tone for what was to come. There's a few reasons why this third installment is the most tolerable of the lot, and arguably equal to the original. Wes Craven returned to script the concluding chapter in the sinister saga(or so he thought!) and brought Heather Langenkamp back with him to mentor a fresh crop of traumatized teens. Chuck Russell is a competent director(he would later help further Jim Carrey's cause in "The Mask") and an 18 year old Patricia Arquette is the best actress to ever grace this series. We even get "Larry" Fishburne thrown in for good measure, and some creative special effects, while a $45 million gross(on a $4.5 million budget) meant that there was no end in sight.

"A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master"(1988)
Robert Englund takes center-stage and a new batch of young victims are once again made up entirely of disposable unknowns in this inexplicably popular Renny Harlin-directed debacle. This was the first "Nightmare" to be given a summer release, presumably based on the strength of the third film, and a three-week stay at the top of the box office marks "The Dream Master" as Freddy's pop culture peak. This grisly goodwill tour led to TV appearances, video games, fan mail AND groupies(according to Englund). It's hard to believe there was a time when we thought these movies were scary. It's even harder to believe there was a time when we thought they were good.

"A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child"(1989)
"What I can't figure out is how he's getting in when I'm awake?!" I can't figure it out, either. Freddy is still a malevolent jokester and the cringe-worthy acting is getting increasingly tough to take. Fortunately, the paying public was coming to their senses, and 1989 was looking like the end of the road for the unholy trifecta of slasher villains, as "Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Meyers" and "Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan" were both rejected that same year. Unfortunately, as long as there's a lowest common denominator to exploit, the powers-that-be behind these pitiful productions have zero qualms about doing so.

"Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare"(1991)
Okay, no more Mr. Nice Guy. Fuck you, Freddy. The '80s are over and I've had more than my fill of your scarred skin and witless one-liners. The title of your sixth atrocity doesn't fool me. You're not DEAD, asshole and this isn't the FINAL anything and not even your dumbest teen victims were buying into this fake farewell. You were only ever mildly amusing during the best of times, and Hannibal Lecter and Max Cady would both wipe the floor with your skinny ass. Whew. Needless to say, "Freddy's Dead" was D.O.A. in the fall of '91, and only his disapproving creator was capable of a resuscitation.

"Wes Craven's New Nightmare"(1994)
After expressing his dislike for the bombastic, overly comedic nature of the bulk of the sequels(he had no real involvement in 2, 4, 5, and 6), Wes Craven was lured back to the director's chair for a tenth anniversary attempt to restore some of Freddy's lost luster. Did he succeed? Sort of. Original heroine Heather Langenkamp resurfaces(as herself) to protect her son from a darker, more elusive Freddy as he terrorizes the cast and crew responsible for his films(they deserve it). This new cerebral take is admirable, and in retrospect feels like a dry run for his forthcoming self-aware "Scream" series, which reignited the whole genre in the late '90s. However, ticket sales didn't reflect Craven's efforts to ACTUALLY put out a decent product, and 1994's filmgoers had more important matters at hand(ahem, "Pulp Fiction").

"Freddy vs. Jason"(2003)
Here we go. This is the smack-down we waited ten years for. Well, that's not true. I wasn't waiting. That teaser at the conclusion of 1993's appropriately-titled "Jason Goes To Hell" set the stage for this joint venture which, let's face it, was the only way these two characters were making it to the 2000s. It's every bit as soul-crushing as the majority of their solo outings as the twin titans of trash seem to be competing for new victims that include Kelly Rowland of "Destiny's Child" fame and Jason Ritter(son of John). I'm proud to say that this nostalgia-driven cash-grab didn't get any of mine.

"A Nightmare on Elm Street"(2010)
Is nothing sacred? If you don't detect my sarcasm and you think the "Nightmare" series is, I strongly suggest you expand your horizons. I don't hate this inevitable remake because it doesn't offend me any more than the genre's usual offerings, but I'm also grateful that a nondescript Jackie Earle Haley won't be taking another stab at sleeping teens. Katie Cassidy was the right choice to get the 'party' restarted(translation: she's a hot, blonde piece of ass), before Rooney Mara settles in as our surviving good girl protagonist Nancy. Is the ensuing carnage REALLY any worse than the old school Englund flicks? No, but we're talking about a pretty low bar. Freddy will always be present in my nightmares. Just not in the way that Wes Craven intended.