Ten Franchises That Weren't

   There's nothing Hollywood loves more than a franchise. Getting hold of a property that can produce sequels with a built-in audience ensuring the studio a positive cash flow for years to come is the name of the game for Tinsel-town execs. But sometimes the attempt is SO obvious, SO blatantly commercial, and in some cases just downright terrible that moviegoers refuse to play along. Here's ten franchises that weren't in the order they were released.

1. "The Rocketeer"(1991)
A reckless young pilot in 1938 gains possession of a revolutionary jet pack and transforms into a high flying hero in this sunny comic-strip-style adventure that Disney hoped would turn into an Indiana Jones-like franchise. Needless to say, that didn't happen. Despite underwhelming box office receipts, it's probably the best movie on this list, but as you scroll down and continue reading you'll see that that's hardly an endorsement. There's some good action and effects, but little passion or chemistry from our two blandly good looking leads Billy Campbell and Jennifer Connelly. Two-time 007 Timothy Dalton does add some much needed color as a movie star villain with Nazi ties and the last scene strongly hinted at a sequel, but the accountants at Disney made sure that this rocket man never took flight again.

2. "Super Mario Bros."(1993)
In the early '90s, every kid in America(including myself) was obsessed with Nintendo's "Super Mario Bros". There was a young fan base primed and ready to see these two Italian American brothers from Brooklyn battle King Koopa up on the big screen. So how did it fail so miserably? All I can say is thank God(or Spielberg) that "Jurassic Park" came along and devoured this sorry mess in the summer of '93. The first AND worst movie ever based on a video game was poorly conceived and executed in every way, and everyone involved has since publicly acknowledged it's awfulness. What does it say when Dennis Hopper, a man whose drug-fueled follies are the stuff of legend, is embarrassed? When John Leguizamo is apologizing, that's one warning you don't ignore. This flick was D.O.A.

3. "The Shadow"(1994)
Although Alec Baldwin was reborn as a character actor and a successful sitcom star in the '00s, even he would admit that he tanked as a leading man in the '90s. This substandard superhero outing did his already faltering career no favors with a ridiculous story involving a villainous descendant of Genghis Khan. The Shadow actually predates Batman by several years and Bob Kane even cited the long running 1930s radio show as an inspiration. The film was clearly trying to capitalize on that connection with a dark tone borrowed from Tim Burton's Bat flicks, but there were no such similarities at the box office. It flopped hard and a line of merchandise gathered dust on toy store shelves that summer. The tagline read "Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?" In this case, nobody cared to find out.

4. "Street Fighter"(1994)
The lingering stench of "Super Mario Bros." couldn't prevent other video game adaptations from getting the green light, proving the inherent stubbornness of Hollywood suits once they get stuck on an idea. Surely Jean Claude Van Damme's fancy kicks and splits will draw a crowd, right? I'm afraid not. This truly lame vehicle seriously slowed down JCVD's trajectory, so maybe I shouldn't be so hard on it after all. "SF" is only really noteworthy for being the final appearance of Raul Julia who died of stomach cancer shortly after the film wrapped. The seven people who sat through it felt his pain.

5. "Judge Dredd"(1995)
 Sylvester Stallone officially fell out of favor with his once adoring public in this noisy, overblown translation of the futuristic British comic book. Purists argued that Dredd's helmet was never supposed to come off but Sly's ego was such that the helmet was gone after the first 15 minutes. That's the least of this flick's problems, though. Sly gives a wooden performance even by his standards, the ever-annoying Rob Schneider is his 'comic' sidekick, and the finished product is an awkward, ineffective mix of '80s style tongue in cheek action and '90s era CGI. Then again, the more faithful Stallone-less reboot also bombed in 2012, so maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

6. "The Phantom"(1996)
Billy Zane in purple tights. Treat Williams as a super villain. What could possibly go wrong? What we have here is another hero plucked from obscurity that missed the mark completely. Zane originally signed on for two sequels, but this not-so-immortal crime fighter's abysmal performance in theaters led to those plans being scrapped rather quickly. After debuting at number six at the weekend box office behind huge summer hits like "Twister" and "Mission Impossible", this utterly forgettable film was quickly sucked into the pop culture abyss where it took up residence next to "The Shadow" and "The Rocketeer" among other films that have been banished for all eternity.

7. "Godzilla"(1998)
The honeymoon was over for "Independence Day" director Roland Emmerich the moment his mega hyped re-imagining of the legendary Japanese movie monster hit screens on Memorial Day weekend. The massive pre-release campaign was off-putting as even the most gullible consumers sensed that the only objective here was to empty the contents of their wallets. Maybe 'size does matter' as the self-aggrandizing promotional material pointed out, but not as much as story and character and originality. All things this film was sorely lacking. This is blockbuster excess at it's worst, the cinematic equivalent of an arrogant sports team that brags all season and then gets swept in the playoffs.

8. "Daredevil"(2003)
I hate to pick on Ben Affleck after his Oscar-winning triumph "Argo", but we all know the man has skeletons in his closet. No matter how much success he has as a director, somebody is always gonna bring up 2003. That was the year many wondered if he'd sold his soul to the actual Devil who later reneged on the deal after seeing some of his work. Even a blind man could see that Marvel's silver screen unveiling of blind superhero Matt Murdock wasn't gonna pan out. In fairness, the enormous momentum of 2002's "Spider-Man" carried the film to a respectable bottom line, but word of mouth combined with the fact that Affleck was just so damn unpopular meant that requests for an encore were practically non-existent. At least one positive thing came out of it- Ben's real life union with co-star Jennifer Garner seems to be a happy one.

9. "The Punisher"(1989, 2004, 2008)
This is a tricky one. Technically there are three "Punisher" films but they are unrelated and therefore do not constitute a franchise. What we have here is three separate, failed attempts to bring Frank Castle to life on the big screen. It shouldn't have been that hard. The Punisher doesn't have any superpowers. Dolph Lundgren's version in '89 was so bad(who would have thunk it?) that it didn't even get a theatrical release in the US. Thomas Jane didn't fare much better in 2004 despite a comic book movie renaissance and John Travolta assuming villain duties. And poor Ray Stevenson barely registered in 2008's "War Zone". Marvel says they'll be yet another reboot down the line. I say we've been punished enough.

10. "Green Lantern"(2011)
It was supposed to be the summer movie event of 2011. It was supposed to turn Ryan Reynolds into an A-list star. This blog is a celebration of the rare occasions when the public said "No thanks". With a budget of $200 million and a domestic gross of just a little over half that, the tepid response to DC's green-suited guardian of the universe can be chalked up as one for the good guys. Reynolds is one of those actors that is just impossible to take seriously, there's a deadly amount of exposition, the effects are nothing special in a post-"Avatar" world and the whole enterprise is concrete proof that not every superhero deserves a film.