Martin's Movie Review

Saturday, January 17, 2026

50 Movies Everyone Should See by Age 12

Monday, December 29, 2025

Tuesday, December 16, 2025

Sunday, November 16, 2025

A Critical Reevaluation- Rocky V

Thirty-five years ago today, Sylvester Stallone released the fifth and final(LOL!) installment in his wildly-popular, career-defining boxing saga, and something wholly-unexpected happened. His former two-time heavyweight champ suffered a knockout loss at the box office to a nine-year old soon-to-be superstar Macauley Culkin. This was unthinkable in 1985. The fourth film's fun factor just couldn't be replicated, forcing #5 into a middle-age narrative with a somber tone. But "Rocky" fans didn't want to see their hero brain-damaged and broke, and the popularity of the John Hughes hallmark "Home Alone" and Kevin Costner's instant classic "Dances with Wolves" was insurmountable in retrospect. Stallone unceremoniously shelved his most beloved creations as the '90s got underway(Rambo was equally-unfashionable in the era of "Seinfeld", Tarantino, and Nirvana). But is "Rocky V" really that bad? Hasn't it been redeemed by 2006's "Rocky Balboa" and the "Creed" trilogy?? Rocky's reluctance to train Michael B. Jordan's Adonis makes more sense through it's flawed lens. Let's lay all this incessant negativity to rest, once and for all.

"Rocky V" never happened. That became a common declaration of online detractors over the years. It DID happen, though. Stallone himself has dismissed and disowned the film, furthering it's unfortunate reputation. Sly has starred in approximately 25 films that are objectively worse than "Rocky V"(including his "Expendables" franchise). We never hear him talk about that. Considering his politics, maybe he shouldn't talk about anything anymore. Alas, we're hear to talk about "Rocky V", a movie I never skipped during those TBS/TNT marathons growing up. Original director John G. Avildsen was lured back to tell a more realistic boxing story, about the darker side of the fight game. Combat sports history has proven this to be a very valid creative choice(Paulie's power of attorney aside). You don't have to look too far to find similar fighter trajectories. Don King and Dana White deserve a jab or two, in the form of Richard Gant's greedy George Washington Duke. Sage Stallone nicely plays Rocky Jr., if you can forgive the infamous four-year time-jump. It helps to just pretend that the main plot takes place between 1986-1990. The entire series has a confused timeline that Stallone forgot to iron out.

That brings me to the main reason that "V" is unjustly derided. One of the franchise's most elating moments. Tommy Morrison was a real-life heavyweight, and would've beaten Carl Weathers, Mr. T, and Dolph Lundgren, for those that don't know. He wasn't an actor, but neither were they, and Tommy Gunn is Rocky, twenty years younger, minus the heart(thanks, Adrian). The streetfight and the two Mickey flashbacks("GET UP YOU SON OF A BITCH...) are awesome and worth the price of admission. The untimely deaths of Sage and Tommy alone is reason to leave the film alone. For a long time, this felt like the last punch Balboa would ever throw("Sue me for what?"), and it's still a dopamine rush. Elton's John's "The Measure of a Man" may be the most underrated original song in movie history, a melancholic companion piece to John Cafferty's "Heart's on Fire" and Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger", two widely-celebrated tunes in the series soundtrack. So, stop acting like Kevin Connolly every time this flick gets brought up, and respect it for what it is. One more round for a not-yet retired icon of perseverance and quiet masculinity, over-acting and murky money troubles, be damned.

Thursday, October 30, 2025

John Candy 1950-1994

I decided to rank all of John Candy's films on what would have been the fabled funnyman's 75th birthday. Candy had roles in eight films produced in the '70s that we're just not going to discuss, because they're too obscure, insignificant, and hard to find today.

35.

34.

33.

33. depressing

32. filmed before, released after, and isn't any better.

John made two movies with Tom Hanks, but you don't need to bother with this one. Noteworthy only for the real-like romance that developed between Tom and Rita Wilson who lived happily ever after.

I recently made the mistake of thinking that one of Eugene Levy's few "above the title" roles was worthy of a Tubi rewatch. Picture "Police Academy" with security guards. John makes the most of the thin premise as his ex-cop partner, just don't expect it to be good.

Steven Spielberg's worst film. Candy gets lost in the shuffle of a large ensemble cast that includes John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, Ned Beatty, Robert Stack, Nancy Allen, Treat Williams, Tim Mathison, Lorraine Gary, Christopher Lee, Warren Oates, and Toshiro Mifune.

There's laughs to be had in this Carl Reiner comedy.

For most of it's runtime(the first 80 minutes), this is one of the funniest films of the early-'80s.

serious

may be his most underrated film.

If you grew up in the late '80s-early-'90s, Mel Brooks' "Star Wars" spoof was a part of your life, it's as simple as that. You may even like it more than "Blazing Saddles" and "Young Frankenstein". George Lucas himself approved

. Legend has it that Candy spent one whole day(literally, 23 hours) on the set of "Home Alone" for his largely improvised role of traveling musician Gus Polinski and accepted mimimum payment($414) as a favor to John Hughes. He was understandably annoyed when a seemingly-small kids movie became a phenomenon and the highest-grossing film of 1990, with a domestic gross of $285 million. Regardless, it's still cool that he's in another timeless holiday classic(John has Thanksgiving AND Christmas covered).

3. Yes, John Candy is only in Oliver Stone's paranoid masterpiece for about five minutes, but he owns every second of those five minutes as a sweaty New Orleans lawyer, and it's absolutely one of the best things he was ever a part of. Candy was eager to break free of his comedic persona and was said to be thrilled to get this part, and extremely nervous about his monologue opposite Kevin Costner.