Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Something's Rotten over at Rotten Tomatoes


Steppenwolf and Lex Luthor aren't their only adversaries.

   The release of "Justice League" has forced me to address a troublesome issue that's been gnawing at my movie-obsessed mind for some time. DC's answer to "The Avengers" may have it's 41% score on Rotten Tomatoes to blame for it's underwhelming domestic box office(by today's standards). RT is the one-stop shop for finding out if a movie is worth your precious time and money. It's for people that can't be bothered to read a three-paragraph movie review. Marvel's "Thor: Ragnarok", released two weeks earlier, received a MUCH more generous 92%. I enjoyed both films for the most part, but this discrepancy is just baffling. Maybe Thor 3 IS better, but it isn't THAT much better, and anyone that thinks otherwise is drinking too much of Kevin Feige's Kool-Aid. Last year saw a similarly one-sided showdown between "Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice"(27%) and "Captain America: Civil War"(90%). I like the Cap movies, but if you really think that the third installment is vastly superior to "BvS", then you probably haven't seen many films made before the year 2000. You probably don't know that Robert Downey Jr. embarrassed himself in 1987's "The Pick-Up Artist". What I'm trying to say is that you probably don't know a god-damn thing about movies, and I'm now convinced that half of today's so-called 'experts' don't know that much more.




   There are plenty of movies that are just good enough to get a passing grade, which means when you see that 90%+ score, it COULD mean just that. It doesn't necessarily indicate greatness. On the flip side, a conspicuously low score could be the result of an older film whose written reviews have been lost over time. Here's a partial list of movies with incorrect/misleading RT scores.

"Butterfield 8"(1960)- 47% A prime Elizabeth Taylor won the Best Actress Oscar as an upscale escort.
"How the West Was Won"(1963)- 100% I don't want to knock this amiable star-studded Western from yesteryear, but 73% is more like it.
"The Night of the Following Day"(1968)- 100% This Marlon Brando misstep would be hovering around 50% if anyone had actually watched it in the last forty years.
"Anne of the Thousand Days"(1969)- 42% Richard Burton barnstorms around this regal costume drama as King Henry VIII. "Anne" received ten Academy Award nominations.
"Death Wish"(1974)- 67% Forget the sequels and remakes, and start calling Charles Bronson's signature flick exactly what it is. One of the best films of the early 1970s.
"Family Plot"(1976)- 96% Hitchcock's career ended not with a bang, but with a whimper.
"Rocky II"(1979)- 73% You've watched it more times than the Oscar-winning original.
"Mommie Dearest"(1981)- 54% Faye Dunaway should have been nominated for her deranged take on Joan Crawford. Just try looking away when those wire hangers come into play.
"Local Hero"(1983)- 100% This cult comedy is rocking a perfect score which would indicate that it's one of the greatest movies ever made. It is far, FAR from that.
"Rambo: First Blood Part II"(1985)- 30% Stallone's Reagan era heroics were a pop culture phenomenon.
"After Hours"(1985)- 90% I love Scorsese as much as the next guy, but let's not get carried away.
"Overboard"(1987)- 46% Goldie Hawn's most popular movie was a basic cable staple for several years. That's because everyone likes it.
"Batman"(1989)- 72% So, all of these repetitive Marvel releases are better than Burton's game-changer? GTFOH.
"Back to the Future Part II"(1989)- 63% I don't recall too many complaints about this super-entertaining sequel in the packed house at the 2015 rerelease I attended.
"Pacific Heights"(1990)- 43% Michael Keaton's creepy con man makes this slick John Schlesinger thriller worth searching for.
"Not Without My Daughter"(1991)- 47% Sally Field shines in this fact-based drama that got snuffed out by the PC police over it's alleged Islamophobia.
"Sleeping with the Enemy"(1991)- 21% A red-hot Julia Roberts runs away from her brutal husband in the best Lifetime movie you'll ever see.
"Getting Even with Dad"(1994)- 3% C'mon, y'all LOVED seeing Macaulay Culkin outsmarting adults just a few years earlier.
"Forrest Gump"(1994)- 71% A beloved Best Picture winner that everyone in the civilized world has seen. Fuck you, "Shawshank"/"Pulp Fiction" fans.
"Braveheart"(1995)- 78% Another absolute classic that revisionist history has attempted to downgrade. If you don't love Mel's masterpiece, then you don't love movies.
"Star Wars: Episode I- The Phantom Menace"(1999)- 56% Let's lay off of Lucas' prequel trilogy. "TPM" brought "Star Wars" back in a big way.
"What Lies Beneath"(2000)- 46% The climactic bathtub scene alone should have kept Bob Zemeckis' ghost story comfortably fresh.
"The Passion of the Christ"(2004)- 49% I'm defending Mad Mel twice now. Accusations of anti-Semitism cut the praise for his impressive biblical blockbuster in half.
"Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull"(2008)- 77% No one liked it.
"Changeling"(2008)- 62% This Clint Eastwood-directed period drama contains Angelina Jolie's best performance.
"J. Edgar"(2011)- 43% While we're on Clint, his take on the FBI's intensely-focused founder(a game Leo DiCaprio) is more interesting than many films that were judged more favorably.
"The Call"(2013)- 45% I dare you not to enjoy this Halle Berry thriller with the WWE Films label.
"Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice"(2016)- 27% The most egregious example of the anti-DC sentiment.
"Get Out"(2017)- 99% It was good, not great.
"All Eyez on Me"(1017)- 18% Demetrius Shipp Jr.'s remarkable resemblance to late rap legend Tupac Shakur should have nudged this a lot higher.
"Spider-Man: Homecoming"(2017)- 92% The sixth Spider-Man movie in fifteen years offered nothing new, aside from a multicultural young cast and Michael Keaton.
"Baby Driver"(2017)- 93% Edgar Wright's too-cool-for-school crime flick is a brash fusion of "Fast and the Furious" and early '90s Tarantino. A colorful supporting cast will keep you from getting bored, but I remember when 'cool' wasn't this calculated.
"Logan Lucky"(2017)- 93% Soderbergh shouldn't get his arm raised for this redneck version of "Ocean's Eleven".
"Lady Bird"(2017)- 99% Critics love low budget indie quirk-fests much more than audiences ever will.



   Superhero movies are fun, but you know what else is fun? Making up your own mind about a movie. Debating it's merit with family and friends. Rotten Tomatoes is a flawed system, and very likely compromised by giant corporations that have a financial stake in the success of films that cost between $150-250 million to produce. I don't want to say that there's widespread corruption in the critical arena. But I won't say that there isn't, either. Too many of these scores don't make any sense. There are clearly other factors at play here that have nothing to do with what's up on screen. Professional critics have to be good writers, but are they good CRITICS? There IS a difference. To quote Roger Ebert, every movie deserves it's day in court. If a low score doesn't fit, you must acquit. Try watching "12 Angry Men", "2001: A Space Odyssey", "Raging Bull" or "Schindler's List" before you plop your pimply face in front of the 18th serving of the MCU. You might not think it's so great anymore. RT reduces the art of film criticism to a level of simplicity that is wildly unfair in many cases. The world isn't black and white. And "Justice League" ain't bad.




























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