I'm pleased to report that Nicolas Cage's latest film "Stolen" did not get a theatrical release in the United States. With a title and plot eerily similar to Liam Neeson's hit thriller "Taken", the public was spared another round of torture from the troubled star who seemingly parted ways with respectability about a decade ago("World Trade Center" is a noble exception). This is a small victory and we can only hope that's it's a sign of things to come and that the career of Francis Ford Coppola's nephew is mercifully coming to an end. I shouldn't have to inform anybody of how far this guy has fallen. It got to the point where I just started disregarding everything that he does. If Nicolas Cage's name is above the title, it can't possibly be any good, right? That "Bad Lieutenant" remake might have worked if he still knew how to act. I remember thinking that the two "National Treasure" movies were pretty decent, but I couldn't tell you a thing that happened in either one. I held off on giving Cage the blog beating that he so richly deserves for a couple of reasons and that's a) I don't think anyone cares about him and b) I don't like to kick a man when he's down. I'm doing it anyway, though because I don't think he should get up again.
Once considered a quirky and cool actor, Cage was the hip alternative to the conventional leading man, capable of alternating between light comedies and dark dramas like "Raising Arizona" and "Wild At Heart". After reaching his artistic peak with a Best Actor Oscar win for "Leaving Las Vegas" in 1995, he set out to reinvent himself as an action star. Audiences had no idea when they plucked down seven bucks for "The Rock", "Con Air", and "Face Off" to see Cage kick ass that it would one day lead to a movie called "Kick Ass". Cage must have been really upset when he didn't get to play Superman in the '90s because he's been trying to make up for it ever since. He even named his son Kal-El. His bad judgment clearly isn't limited to movies. Earlier this year, he made good on his threat to produce a sequel to "Ghost Rider". In between those two ghastly outings, he inflicted more pain in "Bangkok Dangerous", Knowing", The Sorcerer's Apprentice", "Season of the Witch", and "Drive Angry". Cage's movies in the last five years were all about as eagerly awaited as a colonoscopy and were just as pleasant. Has any actor EVER made it more obvious that he's only working for the money? Was a blind man signing his checks?? It's been widely reported that Cage is in serious debt. He owes $6 million to the IRS. During his heyday, he purchased fifty cars, fifteen mansions, four yachts, and a private jet. He bought a dinosaur skull for $275,000. Moviegoers shouldn't have to pay the price for his idiotic indulgences.
You root for most fading actors to climb out of movie hell and stage a comeback. It's not impossible. Mickey Rourke did it, but I don't see anything like "The Wrestler" coming out of Cage, and it would take nothing less to get back in our good graces. He callously squandered our trust, brought all his financial misfortunes on himself, and became a total clown in the process. The guy used to compete with Sean Penn in the acting stakes. Now he's somewhere below Ryan Reynolds and only slightly ahead of Steven Seagal. He's only relevant as a punchline. Saying that you're a fan of Nicolas Cage in 2012 is like saying that you like the smell of dog shit. Nobody likes dog shit and nobody likes Nick Cage anymore. If he ever makes "National Treasure 3" though, I've got a story line that might work. A despondent Cage can travel around in search of his missing fortune. He can look for clues in his recently foreclosed upon homes and find his expensive Elvis memorabilia, his classic comic book collection, and his dinosaur skull. I'd shell out seven bucks to see that.
I'm pleased to report that Nicolas Cage's latest film "Stolen" did not get a theatrical release in the United States. With a title and plot eerily similar to Liam Neeson's hit thriller "Taken", the public was spared another round of torture from the troubled star who seemingly parted ways with respectability about a decade ago("World Trade Center" is a noble exception). This is a small victory and we can only hope that's it's a sign of things to come and that the career of Francis Ford Coppola's nephew is mercifully coming to an end. I shouldn't have to inform anybody of how far this guy has fallen. It got to the point where I just started disregarding everything that he does. If Nicolas Cage's name is above the title, it can't possibly be any good, right? That "Bad Lieutenant" remake might have worked if he still knew how to act. I remember thinking that the two "National Treasure" movies were pretty decent, but I couldn't tell you a thing that happened in either one. I held off on giving Cage the blog beating that he so richly deserves for a couple of reasons and that's a) I don't think anyone cares about him and b) I don't like to kick a man when he's down. I'm doing it anyway, though because I don't think he should get up again.
Once considered a quirky and cool actor, Cage was the hip alternative to the conventional leading man, capable of alternating between light comedies and dark dramas like "Raising Arizona" and "Wild At Heart". After reaching his artistic peak with a Best Actor Oscar win for "Leaving Las Vegas" in 1995, he set out to reinvent himself as an action star. Audiences had no idea when they plucked down seven bucks for "The Rock", "Con Air", and "Face Off" to see Cage kick ass that it would one day lead to a movie called "Kick Ass". Cage must have been really upset when he didn't get to play Superman in the '90s because he's been trying to make up for it ever since. He even named his son Kal-El. His bad judgment clearly isn't limited to movies. Earlier this year, he made good on his threat to produce a sequel to "Ghost Rider". In between those two ghastly outings, he inflicted more pain in "Bangkok Dangerous", Knowing", The Sorcerer's Apprentice", "Season of the Witch", and "Drive Angry". Cage's movies in the last five years were all about as eagerly awaited as a colonoscopy and were just as pleasant. Has any actor EVER made it more obvious that he's only working for the money? Was a blind man signing his checks?? It's been widely reported that Cage is in serious debt. He owes $6 million to the IRS. During his heyday, he purchased fifty cars, fifteen mansions, four yachts, and a private jet. He bought a dinosaur skull for $275,000. Moviegoers shouldn't have to pay the price for his idiotic indulgences.
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