They say the '70s is the greatest decade in film history. It's hard to argue with all this evidence. Some astonishing talent came to the forefront and stayed there LONG after disco died, while a few franchises(two in particular) became institutions. This perfect storm created a large array of some pretty awesome characters. How many have you met?
Okay, here are the rules- a) all characters had to have originated in the '70s(sorry, Rooster Cogburn), b) no characters entirely based on real people(sorry, Patton) and c) only two characters per actor(it's only fair). Now I won't make you wait like Ted Kramer on Christmas Eve. Here are the 70 greatest characters of the '70s.
70(tie).
Chance- "Being There"(1979)
Peter Sellers' swan song became his most cherished part since "Dr. Strangelove". A simple-minded gardener blissfully unaware of the outside world, the mysterious Chance is content to experience everything through television, with his childlike observations mistaken for profundity. Remember, it's a state of mind.
70(tie).
Lili Von Shtupp- "Blazing Saddles"(1974)
A wed wose. How Womantic. This sassy saloon-girl was funny and sexy, and arguably stole Mel Brooks' finest hour. Madeline Kahn left our mortal coil way too soon.
69.
Navin Johnson- "The Jerk"(1979)
This backwoods bozo gave Steve Martin a movie career(and Jim Carrey a blueprint to work from about fifteen years later). All he needs is this ashtray, the paddleball and the remote control...
68.
Leonard Cantrow- "The Heartbreak Kid"(1972)
Charles Grodin's sociopathic newlywed dumps his bride(Jeannie Berlin) on their honeymoon. Did I mention this is a comedy? Don't buy into that Ben Stiller bullshit, you're looking at the REAL heartbreak kid.
67.
Harry Stoner- "Save the Tiger"(1973)
This burnt-out businessman can remember a time when the country(and his life) was a lot better. Don't we all? R.I.P Jack Lemmon.
66.
Paulie- "Rocky", Rocky II"(1976, 1979)
Balboa's boorish brother-in-law was by his side for six films(not that he had anyplace better to be). During that time, he goes from the meat-packing plant to a mansion and back again, yet remains the same lovable lout. Only Burt Young possesses that kind of range.
65.
Alice Hyatt- "Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore"(1974)
Ellen Burstyn's widowed waitress travels the Southwest dreaming of a singing career and a better life for her preteen son. But is a roadside diner and Kris Kristofferson all she really needs? Alice's Arizona adventures actually inspired a long-running sitcom of the same name. And you thought Scorsese only did cool criminals.
64.
Sally Bowles- "Cabaret"(1972)
Liza Minnelli mesmerizes in Bob Fosse's fab 1930s-set musical dramady. I used to wonder why Judy Garland's daughter was so deified. Then I saw her perform 'Mein Herr' on a chair and got my answer. Liza is a gay icon for good reason.
63.
Addie Loggins- "Paper Moon"(1973)
Tatum O'Neal's precocious, pint-sized pickpocket made her the youngest recipient of the Best Supporting Actress Oscar(must suck when your life peaks at age ten) before Drew Barrymore had even exited the womb in Peter Bogdanovich's acclaimed Depression-era road trip.
62.
Sandy Olsen- "Grease"(1978)
The popularity of country cutie Olivia Newton-John soared following the release of this monster musical. At age 29, she thought she was too old to play sunny high school senior Sandy. But she was the one that we wanted. According to the Billboard Soundtrack charts, we're still hopelessly devoted to her.
61.
Mabel Longhetti- "A Woman Under the Influence"(1974)
Gena Rowlands' horrific housewife is the last thing you want waiting for you after a hard day's work. That's actually a polite way to describe Peter Falk's home life in John Cassavetes' emotionally-punishing probe into the dark days of mental illness.
60.
Chewbacca- "Star Wars"(1977)
Harrison Ford's furry co-pilot is the first of MANY "SW" characters to be featured on our countdown. It's not wise to upset a Wookie. Are you listening, Rian Johnson? Chewie better not get bumped from Episode VIII.
59.
Luke Martin-"Coming Home"(1978)
Jon Voight's sullen wheelchair-bound Vietnam vet has no feeling below the waist, but that doesn't stop him from pleasing Jane Fonda below hers. We're supposed to feel sorry for him, though. He killed over there. He doesn't feel good about it.
58.
Sonny Corleone- "The Godfather", "The Godfather Part II"(1972, 1974)
James Caan's crabby heir apparent is just looking for a reason to mall you on a street corner. His hotheadedness made him unfit for the Corleone throne, but the character is a consistent crowd-pleaser. He doesn't want his brother walking out of that bathroom with just his dick in his hand. Admit it, you fought tears at that toll booth.
57.
Lee- "Enter the Dragon"(1973)
The early '70s didn't have CGI(or MMA). However, it DID have a walking, talking special effect by the name of Bruce Lee. The grandfather of martial arts kicked down doors and became an idol to millions in this seminal showcase.
56.
Howard Beale- "Network"(1976)
He's mad as hell and he's not gonna take this anymore. The late Peter Finch's wily newsman equaled ratings as he eerily prophesized the future of televised talking heads, and picked up the first posthumous Academy Award in the process.
55.
Al Wilson- "The Sunshine Boys"(1975)
An 80 year old George Burns turned senility into art form as a crotchety former vaudeville star in this Neil Simon-scripted comic gem. I'll take Burns trading barbs with a mercurial Walter Matthau over just about any 21st century comedy.
54.
Tom Hagen- "The Godfather", "The Godfather Part II"(1972, 1974)
The adopted son of the Corleone clan may not be a war-time concierge, but Robert Duvall's relaxed right hand man was an integral part of Frances Ford Coppola's mob masterpieces. He was absent from 1990's much-maligned "Part III", though. Coincidence? I don't think so.
53.
Henry Spencer- "Eraserhead"(1977)
Director David Lynch set the tone for three decades of polarizing weirdness in this cult-friendly curiosity. Our passive protagonist seems terrified by sex. And just about everything else. You might be just as terrified by the relentlessly bizarre black-and-white goings-on if you're alone or hung up on conventionality. Everyone else can dig in.
52.
Bree Daniels- "Klute"(1971)
Jane Fonda was THE finest screen actress of the 1970s, and this ultra-confidant call girl saved her from a fleshpot fate in "Barbarella" sequels. I'd watch her even without a superfluous stalker subplot.
51.
Ted Kramer- "Kramer vs. Kramer"(1979)
Dustin Hoffman nabbed his first Best Actor Oscar for his second best role. This workaholic ad exec fully embraces fatherhood after Meryl Streep decides she can't stand him. You've never seen French toast made in more diverting fashion or a more ballsy job interview. Ted helped ease the pain of quite a few real-life separations, hopefully not yours.
50.
Adrian- "Rocky", "Rocky II"(1976, 1979)
Talia Shire's shy pet store clerk was all the motivation the Italian Stallion needed in Sly Stallone's sensational boxing saga. We won't ever get tired of Adrian(okay, I did a little in "Rocky V"). Was the world better when more women were a silent support system?
49.
Admiral James T. Kirk- "Star Trek: The Motion Picture"(1979)
The womanizing captain of the Starship Enterprise made the journey from '60s TV titan to the star of seven "Trek" movies from 1979-1994. His mannerisms are instantly recognizable, and is undoubtedly the 23rd century's most heroic and important figure until that far-off era actually arrives. The kids can have Chris Pine's Kirk, it may take that long till I'm all caught up on Shatner.
48.
Danny Zuko- "Grease"(1978)
Two roles solidified John Travolta's late '70s superstardom, and we'll get to the other one. The leader of the T-Birds must choose between Olivia Newton-John and his grease-ball buddies. He chose wisely. Screw "The Sound of Music", go "Greased Lightning".
47.
R2D2 and C3PO- "Star Wars"(1977)
These two droids became wildly popular and iconic along with every other aspect of George Lucas' sci-fi landmark. You just can't have one without the other. They currently adorn a t-shirt worn by my one-year old nephew. That made me smile.
46.
Father Merrin- "The Exorcist"(1973)
Max von Sydow's somber priest performed his first exorcism in post-WWII Africa(as seen in a pair of awful '04 prequels), making him the default hero of this horror saga. We first meet Merrin on an archaeological dig in Iraq, and he may have been better off there. I don't know about you, but Sydow's sermon is the only one I'll be attending from here on out.
45.
Morris Buttermaker- "The Bad News Bears"(1976)
This washed-up, alcoholic former minor league ballplayer turned pool cleaner really has no business being around a bunch of impressionable Little Leaguers. But that's the beauty of this pre-PC comedy smash that spawned two inferior sequels(he wasn't in either), a forgettable '05 remake and a meek "Mighty Ducks" franchise. They sure don't make 'em like Matthau anymore.
44.
Col. Kilgore- "Apocalypse Now"(1979)
He loves the smell of napalm in the morning, and every film buff worth his stuff loves this abrasive surfing enthusiast. There are no small roles, only small actors, and Robert Duvall only needed ten minutes to burn the Colonel into our collective consciousness. He's one of two legends to appear on this list twice thanks to FFC. Smells like victory.
43.
Dr. Loomis- "Halloween"(1978)
"I met him fifteen years ago, I was told there was nothing left; no reason, no conscience, no understanding; and even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, of good or evil, right or wrong. I met this six year old child with this blank, pale, emotionless face, and the blackest eyes...the devil's eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized that what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply...evil".
42.
Alvy Singer- "Annie Hall"(1977)
Nobody plays Woody Allen types better than...Woody Allen. Many have tried in the director's own works after the man himself aged out of playing his trademark whiny, lovelorn losers. Here in his undisputed masterwork, Woody personally explains why there's only two types of people in the world(the miserable and the horrible) and why he's the premier source of pseudo-intellectualism.
41.
John Shaft- "Shaft"(1971)
Richard Roundtree's Blaxploitation poster boy was about as cool as they come circa July 1971. He responded to an "I love you" with "I know" long before Han Solo, and has a pretty bad-ass theme song. I'll bet you didn't know that he got a trilogy that took him to Africa. When Sam Jackson can barely fill your shoes, you know you've made your mark.
40.
Bandit- "Smokey and the Bandit"(1977)
Burt Reynolds and his moustache had a hell of a run before audiences got sick of seeing him behind the wheel. The Bandit is unquestionably his coolest creation, and he benefitted immensely from all those sold-out showings of "Star Wars" in the summer of '77 as he raced into the #2 spot. Who needs plot when you've got a cowboy hat, a black Pontiac Trans Am and miles of Georgia highway in front of you?
39.
Norma Rae Webster- "Norma Rae"(1979)
After hitching a ride with the abovementioned Bandit, Sally Field set out to prove she was a 'serious' actress(she succeeded) as this minimum-wage small-town spitfire that fights to unionize her North Carolina textile factory, scoring a victory for victims of improper working conditions. I'm sure we've all been there. Here's hoping this brainy beauty scores one last worthwhile film role.
38.
- Bluto- Blutarsky-"National Lampoon's Animal House"(1978)
SNL's most iconic cast member was the driving force of nature behind the biggest and (perhaps) most beloved comedy of the 1970s, opening the floodgates for his countless "Saturday Night" successors. That's quite a legacy. John Belushi's drunken degenerate is in his seventh year of college, loves food-fights and somehow makes his way into politics. Sounds about right.
37.
Johnny Boy- "Mean Streets"(1973)
The De Niro/Scorsese era unofficially began, thanks to this motor-mouthed miscreant that steals the fabled director's mainstream debut right out from under a top-billed Harvey Keitel. Don't lend him any money. He won't pay it back.
36.
Damien Thorn- "The Omen", "Damien: Omen II"(1976, 1978)
This terrifying tyke can't possibly be the offspring of Atticus Finch. Terrible things happen when the son of Satan is around. An impaling, a suicide, a decapitation. Even animals at the zoo are disturbed by his presence. He strongly objects to church, which makes him kind of normal to tell you the truth. The pint-sized Antichrist was a big contributor in a wave of classy chillers.
35.
Paul Kersey- "Death Wish"(1974)
This mild-mannered architect becomes decidedly less so after the brutal rape and murder of his wife and daughter(you thought Jeff Goldblum was a good guy?! Guess again). Kersey's body count(over FIVE films spanning twenty years) rivals the Rambos and Terminators of the world, providing cathartic joy to inner city residents and an explosion of interest in the exploitative brand of a 53 year old Charles Bronson.
34.
Leatherface- "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"(1974)
Long before the 2000s brought a barrage of torture porn, there was this blood-soaked breakthrough that paved the way for a cavalcade of copycat slasher films. The ominous ogre at it's center left a lasting impression despite never uttering a word. He let his chainsaw do the talking. His cannibalistic cohorts still scare the crap out forty-plus years later. Let's start showing some love for Leatherface.
33.
Martin Brody- "Jaws"(1975)
This pensive police chief's enviable job got a HELLUVA lot harder after the remains of an attractive blonde and a young boy washed ashore. Roy Scheider battled Bruce in an inadequately-sized boat, and the result was the highest grossing film of all time circa 1975. He returned for the first sequel sans Spielberg(the only passable one), solidifying his status as cinema's preeminent seafarer.
32.
Annie Hall- "Annie Hall"(1977)
Diane Keaton's Best Actress win was the culmination of a seven-year stint as Woody Allen's muse, although I suspect she may have just been playing herself. No matter. This kooky songbird simply outgrew her bespectacled beau, with her innate optimism too often at odds with his NY cynicism. It was fun while it lasted. Lobster and lost love, universal themes that keep "Annie" at the top of EVERY romantic comedy collection.
31.
James Bond- "Live and Let Die", "The Man with the Golden Gun", "The Spy Who Loved Me", "Moonraker"(1973, 1974, 1977, 1979)
I'm of the opinion that 'James Bond' is just a codename assigned to elite British agents, and that's why Roger Moore's smooth iteration made the cut. He's racked up the most appearances in the role with seven, unless you count 1983's "Never Say Never Again" as a tie for Connery(I do). We've since realized less is 'more'(pun intended), but let's never let Daniel Craig's crackling box set give Roger the Timothy Dalton treatment.
30.
Sonny Wortzik- "Dog Day Afternoon"(1975)
Pacino's bumbling first-time crook may be the best AND worst bank robber in movie history. If you don't know why he's holding up the Brooklyn First Savings with John Cazale, you need to seriously brush up on '70s cinema. Al's nervous energy is a sight to see during his regal reunion with "Serpico" director Sidney Lumet, now say it loud- "Attica, Attica!!!"
29.
Michael Meyers- "Halloween"(1978)
I may have credited Leatherface for getting the bloody ball rolling a little earlier, but John Carpenter's career-defining creation had an even greater influence and impact on the Hollywood fright factory just four years later. It's a fact that Jason and his stupid hockey mask wouldn't be a staple of basic cable without that Captain Kirk mask painted white. MM is as synonymous with October 31st as pumpkins and bags of candy, and not even seven increasingly inferior sequels or Rob Zombie could make me hate this Haddonfield hell-raiser.
28.
Laurie Strode- "Halloween"(1978)
We might as well get everyone's favorite Final Girl out of the way. Janet Leigh's daughter owes her enduring fame to film's most famous embattled babysitter. She basically wrote the rules for survival in slasher-dom(it helps to be a sober virgin) the night her brother came home uninvited. Jamie Lee Curtis' 20th anniversary reprisal in 1998's "Halloween: H20" was, if nothing else, a nostalgic nod to her hair-raising roots.
27.
Apollo Creed- "Rocky", "Rocky II"(1976, 1979)
The Master of Disaster, The King of Sting, The Dancing Destroyer, The Count of Monte Fisto. All apt nicknames for Carl Weathers' colorfully cocky heavyweight champ. Creed cleaned out his division, and is basically Muhammad Ali minus the political/social activism. The Stallion may have ended his perfect record, but his son has been making a lot of noise lately. I'm sure "Creed II" will prove the apple doesn't fall far.
26.
Nurse Ratched- "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"(1975)
The head nurse/dictator of 1975's Best Picture winner represents the uncaring establishment and society's mind-numbing status quo. She doesn't really want to help her patients and secretly gets off on the power she wields over them. This bitch won't even let her drugged-out denizens watch a baseball game. Ratched gets away with most of her subtle cruelty, and Louise Fletcher walked away with the Best Actress Oscar. If only Jack had had a few more seconds with his hands wrapped around her throat.
25.
Princess Leia- "Star Wars"(1977)
Darth's daughter turned out quite nice despite her well-documented daddy issues. She's the prettiest member of the Rebel Alliance(Felicity Jones is fixing to change that, though) and smoothed out Han's rougher edges until he (briefly) settled down. "The Force Awakens" reveals that she hasn't gotten much rest in the twenty-plus years since the Empire's downfall and still has more work to do. The franchise's legions of devoted followers will always love Leia, and not just because of that gold bikini.
24.
Carrie White- "Carrie"(1976)
Sissy Spacek's shy high school outcast has often been imitated but never duplicated. And you thought your mother was overbearing. I guarantee your prom night was better than hers even if you didn't go. Let's face it, a telepathic killing spree could've helped out a lot of high schoolers and I don't exclude myself in that. Chloe Grace Moretz was bathed in blood in a 2013 remake. Guess which White resides on my DVD rack.
23.
"Tony Manero- "Saturday Night Fever"(1977)
Travolta's OTHER great '70s role made him a household name, and will forever be associated with the indelible disco era. Tony LIVES for Saturday nights, because his godlike status on that dimly lit dance floor temporarily turns his stagnant job and pain-in-the-ass parents into irrelevant sidebars. I've met plenty of twenty-something twats that silently share that sentiment. But unlike most of them, Tony is pretty likable. At least until he tried to go pro in Manhattan under the non-expert tutelage of Sly Stallone. Ouch.
22.
Obi Wan Kenobi- "Star Wars"(1977)
This aging Jedi is the personification of that ancient religion, and had just enough energy to pass the torch in this first(sorry, FOURTH) adventure. I forgive him for lying about Luke's father because Alec Guinness imbued the "SW" universe with class and a seriousness that may have been otherwise absent(it takes a star of two Best Picture winners to explain something as potentially silly as the Force). Kenobi made that brown robe look bad-ass, and his youthful exploits(in the form of Ewan McGregor) were among the prequels' less lamentable elements. If Disney sticks to it's directives, it won't be the last time Obi swings a 'saber.
21.
Mickey Goldmill- "Rocky", "Rocky II"(1976, 1979)
Everybody needs a mentor. Ideally someone with a wealth of knowledge and experience on our chosen pursuits. Burgess Meredith's crusty gym-dwelling manager was the missing piece of Balboa's professional life and together they succeeded far more than they ever did apart. Mickey mastered the art of tough love, proving that training efforts triple when fueled by cantankerous commentary. As long as we're still making "Rocky" movies, at some point I'll require a period prequel detailing what this bantamweight buzz-saw was doing in the '20s and '30s.
20.
Quint- "Jaws"(1975)
The ornery captain of the Orca will find that bad fish for $3,000. He'll kill him for 10. Amity residents should've fallen at the feet of this superior shark-hunter. He was on the USS Indianapolis in 1945 went it was hit by Japan's torpedoes. 1,100 men went into the water, 316 came out. The sharks took the rest. Quint may have went down hard against Spielberg's mechanical one, but not before Robert Shaw gave his blockbuster b-movie an Oscar-worthy weight it wouldn't have had otherwise.
19.
Alex DeLarge- "A Clockwork Orange"(1971)
I couldn't wrap up this retrospective without a contribution from Stanley Kubrick. Malcolm McDowell's twisted teen robs, rapes and murders merely for his own amusement. He loves classical music, always a telltale sign of a psycho, and his improvised rendition of "Singin' in the Rain" was enough to clinch a spot on the countdown. Alex is eventually captured and neutered, begging the question- is unrestrained id REALLY any worse than sterile dead-eyed conformity? Tyler Durden's got nothing on his dystopian predecessor.
18.
Harry Caul- "The Conversation"(1974)
Gene Hackman called this sullen surveillance expert his favorite role. That's saying something. Caul's social skills are severely lacking, he's much more comfortable spying on you from a distance. Watergate gave his wiretap work a timely relevance that wasn't even intended, because the movie gods just smile down on you sometimes. Don't even think about calling yourself a film buff if you've never seen Harry playing the saxophone in his ransacked apartment.
17.
Regan MacNeil- "The Exorcist"(1973)
The scariest movie ever made appropriately has a teenage girl at it's center. How much of that had to due with Linda Blair's acting rather than creative make-up and effects(her Supporting Actress nod was a bit controversial) is up for debate, but the quality and quantity of the scares in William Friedkin's flick isn't. Regan(or Pizuzu) is the reason I have no interest in pea soup or Ouija boards. I even pawned my cross. Horror has no more striking symbol.
16.
Willy Wonka- "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory"(1971)
If you want to view paradise, simply look around for Gene Wilder's colorful candy-man every once in awhile. With all due respect to the Johnny Depp-Tim Burton tandem, his wonderful version of Wonka is still entertaining kids whose parents weren't even born when he distributed those five golden tickets. He's alive and well in sarcastic internet memes, and has the best batch of Oompa Loompas bar none. I can't wait till my (unborn) kids can watch this one.
15.
Superman/Clark Kent- "Superman"(1978)
Sorry, Henry Cavill. Nice try, Brandon Routh. Dean Cain? Get the fuck out. George Reeves?? Please. You're looking at the REAL Man of Steel, and that's not nostalgia talking. The most spot-on superhero portrayal of all time was given before all you Deadpool-loving piss-ants' parents were potty trained. Truth, justice and the American Way? Reeve made me believe it. Subsequent Zod-less "Superman" sequels may not have lived up to the quality of Chris' performance, but time healed those wounds. This super man soared.
14.
Col. Kurtz- "Apocalypse Now"(1979)
Legend has it that Marlon Brando showed up to the notoriously difficult "Apocalypse Now" shoot bald, weighing 250 pounds, with no interest in learning his lines. Somehow, he's still brilliant. His renegade Army officer is the crown jewel of Coppola's epic deconstruction of the Vietnam War. Kurtz skirts the Western world, preferring the position of desolate demi-god deep within his Cambodian quarters. Fate was on Frances' side, because Marlon's monologues contained a haunting poetry that resonated long after Martin Sheen got done with that machete. Imagine if Brando had simply done as he was told? The horror...
13.
Max Rockatansky- "Mad Max"(1979)
An untarnished 22 year old Aussie hunk named Mel Gibson showed American moviegoers what the next two decades would look like in George Miller's futuristic franchise-starter. Tom Hardy has hordes of support these days and deservedly so, but it was a privilege to watch Mad Mel pave the way in his prime. We don't glimpse his trademark leather get-up, sawed-off and black Pursuit Special till the third act, but it was enough to insure a long, healthy career in front of the camera. Model-caliber good looks mixed with a simmering rage would make for one electrifyingly profitable package.
12.
Luke Skywalker- "Star Wars"(1977)
Mark Hamill's whiny farm-boy turned Jedi savior is perhaps the most pivotal figure in this unrivalled seven-film(so far) pop culture colossus. When he looks up at that dual sun(Lucas' favorite moment in the film btw), he represents every bored youth that ever dreamed of something better. Turns out he's not such a bad pilot, as evidenced by the climactic destruction of the Death Star. Other LESS goody-two-shoes "SW" characters may have proven more popular over the years, yet a bearded, elusive Luke is poised to have the last laugh- Han Solo WON'T be helping Daisy Ridley refine her lightsaber skills.
11.
Jake Gittes- "Chinatown"(1974)
Two roles cemented Nicholson as cinema's undisputed king of cool, and we'll get to the other one shortly. The general consensus is that Jack's at his most pristine as this dapper private eye in Roman Polanski's peerless film noir. Jake's your guy when it comes to the California water supply or startling incest. He sports a big bandage on his face for much of the film because that's what happens to nosy fellas(can you imagine that happening today?). It's a slight shame we didn't get more of Gittes(1990's "The Two Jakes" was too little, too late), but if you're looking for great, it's "Chinatown".
10.
Popeye Doyle- "The French Connection", French Connection II"(1971, 1975)
Gene Hackman's NYPD hard-ass nestled the 40 year old late bloomer into the industry's elite AND nabbed the Best Actor Oscar. Doyle's disposition may not be as much fun in an age of so much ACTUAL police misconduct, but that's no excuse to not enjoy his barroom ball-busting. Political correctness has no place in his work day, he's too busy keeping street scum at bay. That includes a heroin-smuggling Frenchman, and it doesn't even matter that he got away. Times change, but Popeye will never die.
9. '
Dirty' Harry Callahan- "Dirty Harry", "Magnum Force", "The Enforcer"(1971, 1973, 1976)
This is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and would blow your head clean off. So, do you feel lucky? Let's face it, we're all punks next to Clint Eastwood's classic crime-fighter. Callahan may be the greatest movie cop EVER, just don't tell the last guy you just read about. Or Martin Riggs and John McClane, not that he's afraid of them or anyone else. True manliness is in short supply, and Harry has it shooting out of each one of his pores. His blunt approach to public safety leaves little room for bureaucratic bullshit, making San Francisco a big no-no for armed malcontents. Four sequels furthered his authoritative agenda, that badge never commanded more respect onscreen OR off.
8.
Randle McMurphy- "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"(1975)
This irrepressible rascal is the quintessential component of Jack Nicholson's legendary forty-year filmography. Randle is about as anti-establishment as it gets, and just wants to have a good time ALL THE TIME. This freewheeling philosophy puts him in constant conflict with uptight authority figures and lands him in a mental hospital that he thinks will be better than jail(it's isn't). He's been told that he fights and fucks too much, and takes it upon himself to battle the evil Nurse Ratched on behalf of the entire psychiatric ward. I won't reveal the outcome in case you haven't seen it(shame on you, if that's the case). McMurphy's fight is no less noble than that of William Wallace, and his(free) spirit lives on.
7.
Ellen Ripley- "Alien"(1979)
Sci-fi's foremost heroine never screamed as much as her tagline implied. Ripley was originally written as a man. Thank God Ridley Scott believed in equal rights. She isn't impossibly hot or physically gifted as seen in a lot of lesser entries in the genre. Sigourney's signature is smart, tough and resourceful- traits that allowed her to improbably outlast the predominantly male Nostromo crew and Cameron's Colonial Marines. I know she shaved her head and got cloned and you didn't really like that, but Ripley survived those character assassinations as admirably as she survived all those alien attacks. There are continued rumblings that she might not be done yet. Only Weaver could make me a believer.
6.
Han Solo- "Star Wars"(1977)
There he is. The man you've been waiting for. Who wouldn't want to see this face at the other end of the bar? Harrison Ford's scruffy space smuggler could've stepped out of George's elaborate fantasy world and into ours at any time and done just fine, and therein lies his astounding appeal. A million aging fan-boys would like me to reiterate one last time that he shot first. He porked the Princess, and will be the subject of a 2018 prequel to star some as-yet-unnamed hunk. Pity no one told him to use protection.
5.
Vito Corleone- "The Godfather", "The Godfather Part II"(1972, 1974)
Marlon Brando got all that 'greatest actor in the world' stuff started all over again when he interrupted his daughter's wedding for an impromptu closed door meeting as Mario Puzo's immortal mob patriarch. The elder Corleone almost makes organized crime seem dignified and harmless. It's hard to believe he ever actually hurt anybody until a horse's head and a 30 year old Robert De Niro showed us what it takes to be the boss. Vito is the only character to result in two Oscar-winning performances that I can only hope you're very familiar with. This seemingly benign bad guy is certainly an offer no cinephile can refuse.
4.
Michael Corleone- "The Godfather", "The Godfather Part II"(1972, 1974)
If there's anyone out there still wondering why "The Godfather" tops nearly every 'greatest movies' list, maybe this guy can help clear things up. Pacino's chilling transformation from idealistic war hero to cold and calculating crime boss is the reason we occasionally question the Academy(Al went home empty-handed in '72 and '74). Michael doesn't want to kill everybody. Only his enemies. The problem with that is he starts to see everyone as an enemy including his own family. The new Don spends much of his time sitting in dark rooms, plotting revenge and the bloody expansion of the Family's interests. He's ordered so many murders that he forgot who he was in the first place. If you're not calling in sick tomorrow to get reacquainted with the Corleone crew, that I don't know what else to say.
3.
Darth Vader- "Star Wars"(1977)
What more needs to be said about this heavy-breathing, black-suited Sith lord? He's the most towering villainous presence in the annals of cinema that doesn't eat people or wear clown make-up. The big screen landscape was irreversibly altered the moment he marched aboard that rebel ship to retrieve those stolen Death Star plans flanked by Imperial Stormtroopers. He can choke guys without even touching them. It doesn't get much cooler than that. Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christensen couldn't dull our devotion because James Earl Jones' booming voice makes everything right again. His grandson apparently idolizes him. Redemption is overrated. If Disney has the balls, they'll fill in the blanks on that 20 year reign in which he hunted down and killed all the remaining Jedi, ruling George Lucas' galaxy far, far away as everyone's favorite intergalactic tyrant.
2.
Travis Bickle- "Taxi Driver"(1976)
Robert De Niro built his rock-solid rep as the idol of nearly every person in the acting profession off the foundation laid by this frighteningly identifiable outsider(oh, his pal Marty also had a little something to do with that). If you can't relate to Travis' tortured plight, congratulations on being the most mentally sound man alive. You'd consider a gun purchase too after coming that close to scoring with Cybill Shepherd. He's got "bad ideas in his head", but at least he plans on doing something about the politician problem in this country. Bickle is number #2 because he's on every nightly newscast. He could be your son, your brother, your co-worker, or your next door neighbor. This is what it looks like to be slowly driven over the edge. When Travis looks in the mirror, he could be looking at you.
1.
Rocky Balboa- "Rocky", "Rocky II"(1976, 1979)
There was never any doubt in my mind about who was taking the top spot. All the guys in the top five would've been suitable number one picks, but this eternal underdog goes to the body like nobody you've ever seen. He wasn't supposed to win Best Picture or take the heavyweight title or rule the box office. He wasn't supposed to still be around FOUR DECADES LATER. That's exactly what happened, though. Balboa is the greatest fictional fighter of all time and one of the most enduring characters in ANY medium, and if you haven't been inspired by his uplifting adventures in some way, then you must be in a coma. He loves almost everybody, but none more than his beloved Adrian and we could all take some notes from their tender courtship(he didn't Facebook her, folks!). It took a hail of bullets, a bow 'n' arrow and a really big knife for Sylvester Stallone to gain audience acceptance without boxing gloves on, that's how large the Rock loomed over the rest of his career. Sly has a Best Supporting Actor nom coming his way for "Creed" if internet buzz is to be believed, further proof that you should never give up. Remember, it ain't about how hard ya hit...
"Star Wars: The Force Awakens" is currently shattering every box office record in the galaxy, eclipsing it's own seemingly insurmountable expectations to the delight of Disney execs. At this rate, J.J. Abrams' highly-anticipated revival of George Lucas' landmark property has a VERY strong chance of dethroning "Avatar" as the biggest domestic grosser of all time. More important than that though, the film is actually good. The saga's legions of tireless supporters breathed a huge sigh of relief as Daisy Ridley's Rey handed her lightsaber over to a bearded, elusive Mark Hamill, brilliantly setting the stage for Episode VIII. Their crusty costar pictured above(spoiler alert!) doesn't look to be joining them on movie screens in 2017, which makes this the perfect time to talk about everyone's favorite space pirate. Harrison Ford was, without question, the premier leading man of the 1980s(I feel sorry for anybody that doesn't know that already). Two colossal characters are the main reason why, but it would be unfair to pin his appeal solely on Han and Indy(or Lucas and Spielberg, rather). He's proven himself elsewhere from Ridley Scott's rain-soaked version of 2019(that "Blade Runner" sequel is up next!) to a memorable stay in an Amish community. He enjoyed the longest tenure as Jack Ryan in between an exhausting search for a one-armed man. Was he ever the best actor in the biz? No, but we never needed or wanted him to be. You see, there are actors and there are movie stars, and Ford always sat quite comfortably in the latter category. He couldn't transform the way De Niro and Daniel Day-Lewis did, and they couldn't fill theater seats just by being their ruggedly masculine selves. Humphrey Bogart wishes he had Harrison's pop culture cachet. Let's look back at the legacy of the world's most famous former carpenter. 
