R.I.P. Mike Nichols 1931-2014

  Renowned director Mike Nichols died of a heart attack on November 19th in his Manhattan apartment at age 83. If you're not familiar with his life's work, you should be, but at least you're reading this, which means that you're willing to learn. He's one of the most versatile filmmakers ever to grace the industry with the rare ability to alternate between comedy and drama. His movies were ABOUT people(what a novelty!) and their problems, and many of them championed women, that-all-too-often ignored demographic that only makes up half the Earth's population. The German-born renaissance man was among a small, select group of people to win an EGOT(Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony). An honorable mention goes out to his 2003 miniseries "Angels in America", but this blog will focus on the sizeable cinematic contributions of a man whose fifty-plus year commitment to the arts will be sorely missed.

"Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"(1966)
Nichols was perhaps the hottest director in the American theatre when he was given the chance to direct the film version of Edward Albee's celebrated Tony award-winning play, making him ideally suited to this claustrophobic story and it's verbal fireworks. Elizabeth Taylor may have been the most towering screen presence of the 1960s. For all the uneducated youngsters out there, the brunette bombshell succeeded Marilyn Monroe at the peak of a career that spanned five decades. A 33 year old Liz gained thirty pounds to play the frumpy, fifty-something year old Martha, and may have started the trend that would see some of the world's most desirable women trading their luscious looks for major critical acclaim. Her volatile relationship with real-life husband Richard Burton was deservedly selected for preservation by the Library of Congress in 2013.

   The film was nominated for a staggering thirteen Academy Awards on top of it's financial success, with Taylor winning her second Best Actress Oscar(the first was for 1960's "Butterfield 8"). The late Sandy Dennis also took home Best Supporting Actress. I know that many people are allergic to older films, but there's some seriously good acting/writing on display here.

"The Graduate"(1967)
Is there a more iconic image in late '60s cinema? The answer is a definite 'no'. Mike Nichols' built his legacy off the back of this landmark coming-of-age comedy about a hapless college grad named Benjamin Braddock. He's played by Dustin Hoffman, one of the finest actors to ever step on a film set, and we have Nichols to thank for the discovery of this immense talent. Ya see, guys that look like Hoffman were rarely given the spotlight in the era of prototypical headliners like Marlon Brando and Paul Newman. Actually, they NEVER were, so Nichols must be credited for opening the floodgates for a whole crop of unconventional leading men. The late Anne Bancroft(only six years older than Hoffman!) will always be best known as the seductive, unhappily married Mrs. Robinson.

   Simon & Garfunkel's soundtrack played no small part in this film's zeitgeist-shattering success. It's more than a movie, it's a cultural snapshot and Benjamin's melancholic malaise still resonates. That closing bus ride? Still one of the best endings of all time.

"Catch-22"(1970)
A 36 year old Alan Arkin leads a large, eclectic cast in this scattershot, episodic WWII-set comedy based on the Joseph Heller novel. There's a steady stream of mildly amusing gags in the first half until a tonal shift in the third act attempts to turn it into a more straightforward story of men at war. There's some fun to be had in pointing out the parade of big names from yesteryear that pop up in small roles- Martin Balsam, Jack Gilford, Art Garfunkel, Buck Henry, Bob Newhart, Martin Sheen, Jon Voight, Orson Welles, Bob Balaban, Norman Fell and Charles Grodin.

   "Catch-22" was overlooked at the time of it's release, which would be a recurring theme in Nichols' career. "MASH" and "Patton"  were both released the same year, receiving the majority of the critics' praise(the latter won Best Picture), but recent reappraisals of the film have been much more positive.

"Carnal Knowledge"(1971)
Nichols hooked up with another budding icon for this daring(at the time) examination of 20th century sexual politics. A brash Jack Nicholson seized the opportunity to stand at the forefront of Tinsel-town, unveiling the cavalier cocks-man persona that can be found in the DNA of nearly every characterization he's given us since his frank discussions about the opposite sex with timid best pal Art Garfunkel. Anne Margaret's Best Supporting Actress nomination as Nicholson's downtrodden girlfriend is proof that she was more than just a kittenish sex symbol, and proof that Nichols could bring out the best in any performer.

   Men and women's attitudes towards each other really don't change all that much throughout the course of history. That's why I feel that "Knowledge" has a chance of getting passed down to unborn viewers in 2071.

"The Day of the Dolphin"(1973)
As skilled as Nichols was in the director's chair, he wasn't infallible. Nobody is. Spielberg made "1941", and Mike Nichols made a 'serious' movie about talking dolphins to begin his inevitable cooling-off period. The late George C. Scott stars as a brilliant scientist that trains dolphins to communicate with humans. He's soon fending off shady government types that want to use his magnificent mammals to assassinate the President. A lighter touch may have made these proceedings more digestible. Instead this is a strangely somber, downbeat film livened occasionally by an Oscar-nominated musical score and some admittedly nice underwater footage.

   "Dolphin" swam into theaters ONE week before that seminal shocker known as "The Exorcist", and the ticket-buying masses predictably picked Satan as the safer entertainment option in December of 1973. However, George C. Scott and/or dolphin enthusiasts might like it.

"The Fortune"(1975)
Nichols produced back-to-back losers with "Dolphin" and this frantic farce that must have sounded much better on paper. Jack Nicholson and Warren Beatty are dimwitted 1920s con men who go to outrageous lengths to bilk a wealthy young heiress(Stockard Channing in her breakout role). With all due respect to these two legendary lotharios, they are NOT comedians and their desperate mugging is often painful to watch. I guess Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon were too busy. The scant 84 minute running time could only mean one thing- an embarrassed Nichols sat in the editing room and realized that the movie just doesn't work.

   "The Fortune" sure didn't make one in the summer of "Jaws", and will go down as a lowlight for everyone except Channing(Nicholson has never discussed it despite his loyalty to Nichols). The director found solace in theatre and television in the late '70s-early '80s, with his future in feature films in serious doubt.

"Silkwood"(1983)
Nichols returned to the movie biz after an eight year sabbatical, and it took a headline-grabbing, real-life tragedy and the best actress in the world(as she was fast becoming known) to get him back behind the lens. Meryl Streep more than did justice to the memory and legacy of Karen Silkwood, a chemical technician and labor union activist who died mysteriously in 1974 after raising concerns about the health and safety of workers in an Oklahoma nuclear facility. History tends to forget that Cher was once a rather prominent actress during this period. Her Oscar-nominated turn as Streep's sullen sister signaled a temporary career change for the pop icon, while Kurt Russell furthered his cred as her blue-collar boyfriend.

   "Silkwood" is easily one of the top ten films of 1983. MN painted an authentic portrait of working-class, small town drudgery to end a lengthy hiatus that put him back on the shortlist of Hollywood's most dependable directors.

"Heartburn"(1986)
Is it even possible to make a bad movie that stars the two most nominated actors in history? That being said, neither of this dynamic duo's combined 31 Academy Award nods came courtesy of this middle-aged meet-cute comedy/drama based on an early Nora Ephron screenplay. Jack and Meryl get married in the first act after a whirlwind courtship that begins at a mutual friend's wedding, and it isn't long before she's pregnant and he's renovating a Washington townhouse. But this union doesn't stay as sunny and upbeat as the opening scenes suggest. This film is based on Ephron's own stormy 1970s marriage to reporter Carl Bernstein of Watergate fame. Did she accept his lying and philandering for the sake of the kids and his enviable social status?

   Nicholson and Streep are always watchable, but this is a curiously flat and disappointing effort from a trio we'd come to expect much more from over the years. Audiences were in the tight grip of populist entertainment at the time(James Cameron's super sequel "Aliens" crushed it at the box office) and to make matters worse, the critics weren't even enthused(50% approval rating on RT). Only Carly Simon's soundtrack contribution "Coming Around Again" had any real staying power.

"Biloxi Blues"(1988)
Mathew Broderick squares off with Christopher Walken in this upbeat film version of the middle chapter in playwright extraordinaire Neil Simon's semi-autobiographical stage trilogy("Brighton Beach Memoirs" and "Broadway Bound" are the bookends if anyone cares). It's easy to see why Nichols was attracted to the buoyant Benjamin Braddock-like journey of 20 year old Eugene Morris Jerome, and Broderick has never been this appealing outside of Bueller as the journalistic Army recruit whisked away to a life-altering boot camp in 1945 Mississippi. Walken has a well-earned reputation for being uniquely intimidating and his humorously hard-assed drill sergeant certainly bolsters it.

   "Blues" doesn't break any new ground, but it won't leave you singing them either. It was a minor hit, well-received at the time, yet ignored today whenever 1980s cinema is discussed. There was simply too much giant franchise-friendly entertainment filling up the multiplex for more modest films to leave a lasting impression. However, you're about to meet one that did...

"Working Girl"(1988)
Remember when Melanie Griffith was supposed to be big deal? That idea didn't last long, but the baby-voiced blonde has Nichols to thank for her short stay on the A-list that began with this minor classic, the most successful of the women-in-the-workplace comedies produced during Reagan's run in the White House. Carly Simon and that chill-inducing opening shot of the Manhattan skyline sets the tone as Griffith's Staten Island secretary simultaneously unseats Sigourney Weaver's Wall Street witch and makes breathy banter with Harrison Ford's handsome hotshot. She starts up with the 1980s premier leading man after kicking Alec Baldwin's unfaithful ass to the curb. Melanie must wish it was still 1988 every single day.

   This film received six Academy Award nominations including Best Picture and Director. Unfortunately for Nichols and company, "Rain Man" also came out in '88 and Dustin Hoffman's lovable, card-counting idiot savant just wouldn't be denied the top prizes at the Shrine Auditorium that year(which MN was partially responsible for in an EXTREMELY roundabout way). Nevertheless, "Girl" is about to be released on Blu-ray rather coincidentally, and if you can get past Joan Cusack's hair, it remains a pleasing affair.

"Postcards from the Edge"(1990)
Meryl Streep headlines her third Mike Nichols production, atoning for "Heartburn" with her lightest and loosest performance circa 1990, a refreshing break from her usual Oscar baiting(that could be the reason she DID get nominated for the ninth time and deservedly so). Carrie Fisher will never be as famous for her writing as she is for her gold bikini and hulking hair buns, but she did do a lot of it, starting with the semi-autobiographical novel from which this film is based, chronicling the downward spiral of a drug-addled actress and the love/hate relationship with her showbiz veteran mother. Shirley MacLaine ably fills that role with an affectionate send-up of Debbie Reynolds. Most of the situations are played for laughs, as Nichols resists the urge to explore the darker implications of the material which could have left us with a heavy-handed drama. Those tend to go either way.

   "Postcards" is a polished showcase for the critically-lauded ladies pictured above, thanks to the deft writing/direction that makes it more than worthy of a revisit. Dennis Quaid, Gene Hackman and Richard Dreyfus appear briefly in supporting roles.

"Regarding Henry"(1991)
Harrison Ford reunited with Nichols for this would-be tearjerker about a NYC lawyer struggling to regain his memory and mobility after narrowly surviving a bullet to the head from John Leguizamo. No, he doesn't scour the streets, seeking revenge. He does, however, learn how to love(and read)all over again in cloying fashion. Ford was still in the process of proving that he could do more than just duke it out with Nazis and Stormtroopers, and he wanted an Oscar worse than Indy wanted that golden idol at the beginning of "Raiders". Sadly, it was not to be. The action icon seemingly gave up on that quest after this film's underwhelming critical and commercial reception and quickly went back to doing what he does best(running, jumping, fighting, falling) as Jack Ryan and Dr. Richard Kimble.

   This may sound like a really negative review, but "Henry" does have it's merits. As awards bait, it fails, but I'll bet your Mom loved it. Mine did. We can't completely disregard the opinions of all the Moms out there. The perennially underrated Annette Bening continued her quiet ascent as Ford's long-suffering wife, and here's a fun fact- future "Star Wars" director J.J. Abrams wrote the screenplay.

"Wolf"(1994)
There was a brief period where top tier directors were taking a stab at horror(think "Bram Stoker's Dracula" and "Interview with the Vampire"). You only need to take one look at today's offerings to see that those days are long over. Jack Nicholson, surpassing Streep as Nichols' most frequent collaborator, is effectively subdued as an aging Manhattan book editor whose life dramatically improves after a snowy drive through Vermont puts him on the receiving end of a werewolf bite. The ever-alluring Michelle Pfeiffer makes the most of her aloof love interest role, and James Spader can play a back-stabbing corporate creep in his sleep. The violent third act may resort to genre conventions, but this is an otherwise intelligent and sophisticated take on the vaunted werewolf mythology.

   "Wolf" had the misfortune of getting released the same day as O.J. Simpson's infamous white bronco ride, a television event that curtailed it's opening weekend. Then Tom Hanks' magnus opus "Forrest Gump" arrived, killing it's box office chances in July. But film is forever, and the hairy Will Randle found a permanent home in the cable TV afterlife.

"The Birdcage"(1996)
As we all know, the late, great Robin Williams left our mortal coil a mere three months before Nichols, so I get to kill two birds with one stone here. Williams' energy and comedic abilities were unquestionable, but he was wise enough to play the straight man(no pun intended) and allow Nathan Lane to take center-stage in this boisterous and witty remake of "La Cage aux Follies". Robin's restraint, aside from THAT trailer-friendly outburst, was a pleasant surprise during his '90s heyday and Lane's queen is indeed a scream. Gene Hackman(his obits can't be far off) and Dianne Wiest add a touch of class to the proceedings as the gay duo's ultra-conservative future in-laws.

   This film has fun with gay AND straight stereotypes, and it's $124 million domestic box office haul definitely furthered the mainstreaming of homosexuality in entertainment. That has to be considered a victory.

"Primary Colors"(1998)
John Travolta, still bathed in his post-"Pulp Fiction"/pre-"Battlefield Earth" glow, does his best Bill Clinton impersonation in this topical drama based loosely on the rise of the charismatic Southern Democratic who moved into the White House in 1993. The film came off as a backhanded tribute to our 42nd President in the wake of the burgeoning Lewinsky scandal, but it does contain some involving insights into backstage political life. Kathy Bates is the standout in a supporting cast that includes Emma Thompson, Billy Bob Thornton and Maura Tierney.

   Unfortunately for Nichols and company, "Titanic" was in the midst of it's monumental box office run in March of '98(damn that James Cameron!) and the voter turnout was soft for JT's would-be Commander and Chief(sound familiar?). But the public has a history of ignoring politically-themed projects anyway, so I can't say that things would have turned out much different otherwise.

"What Planet Are You From?"(2000)
Every noteworthy director has one or two black marks on their resume, and this broad supernatural sex comedy sticks out like a sore thumb in the Nichols oeuvre("Dolphin" and "The Fortune" were forgotten by all but hardcore movie buffs by this time). Garry Shandling, who also wrote the screenplay, stars as a socially awkward alien sent to Phoenix, Arizona to mate with an Earth woman. Annette Bening(God bless her) may be the sole saving grace in this silly set-up, while other talented players like Ben Kingsley, Greg Kinnear and John Goodman all look as if they realized halfway through that the movie was doomed.

   "Planet" produces a few cheap laughs and I didn't find it an altogether excruciating experience, but it bombed with a capital B only a few short months into the new millennium with a $14 million gross on a budget of $60 million.

"Closer"(2004)
Nichols rebounded by returning to his roots for this brutal relationship drama based on an award-winning play. He's clearly right at home in "Virginia Woolf?/Carnal Knowledge" territory of small scale drama that focuses entirely on a select group of characters. This is the kind of movie that few mainstream directors have the guts to make nowadays. God forbid an audience is made to feel uncomfortable. Jude Law was definitely the flavor of the month(six movies in 2004!) which put him in intimate contact with Julia Roberts and Natalie Portman. Clive Owen takes part in the emotional warfare, landing his breakout role as Jude's Brit rival for the affections of these two lovely Oscar winners.

   You might not be able to take your eyes off Portman who is better here than she is in any "Star Wars" prequel filmed around the same time(way to go, George Lucas). Her and Owen were both nominated in the Supporting categories, furthering Nichols' rep as the ultimate actor's director.

"Charlie Wilson's War"(2007)
Only a director of Nichols' caliber could get Tom Hanks in a hot tub with a bevy of topless beauties. 'The Nicest Guy In Hollywood' enjoys a bit of depravity as the randy Texas Congressman drawn to the plight of the Afghan people during their war with the Soviets in 1980. I doubt Julia Roberts needed much convincing to play the Texas socialite who supports his newfound nobility. It takes quite a performer to steal the screen away from two megastars, but that's exactly what the recently departed Philip Seymour Hoffman does in his Oscar-nominated role as a nervy American spy whose had people trying to kill him for 24 years. People that know how(how much do we miss this guy?). From Hoffman to Hoffman, Mike Nichols employed some of the best actors in the world for nearly half a century.

   How many filmmakers can boast of a forty-year career behind the camera? Charlie Wilson was overshadowed by Anton Chigurh and Daniel Plainview during the '07 awards season, but this was a fitting farewell that deserves another look. I know I've said that more than once on here. R.I.P. Mike.

Comedy Sequels Are No Laughing Matter

   Just when you thought Harry and Lloyd couldn't possibly be any dumber, they go and make "Dumb & Dumber To". Nostalgic feelings for a time when Jim Carrey was actually funny resulted in a $38 million opening weekend despite a 25% approval rating on RT. I'm afraid the Farrelly bros. formula has been abused far too often in the twenty years since this crude duo were first unleashed on a rather genteel comedy landscape WAY back in 1994. The original was lightning in a bottle. If it had been released any other year with any other pair, it fails and fails miserably. But audiences were ready for lowbrow toilet humor. They sure got it.

   Let's be honest, comedy sequels rarely work. There's a reason we never saw Ferris Bueller or Cher Horowitz in college. The sight of Dustin Hoffman or Robin Williams dressed in drag wouldn't have been nearly as much fun a second time. I started feeling sick after my third slice of "American Pie", and seven "Police Academy" movies was the equivalent of police brutality. I'm not trying to trash every comedy sequel. Most of us are glad we met Mini-Me and Goldmember(well, maybe not Goldmember). We had a nice time with Kevin McCallister in NY and a great Christmas with the Griswalds. But then there's the little matter of the Wolfpack turning into those party guests that stay long after everyone else has left, eventually falling asleep on your couch at 4 am. Nobody wants to deal with that, and nobody needed to see Bradley Cooper and company in Bangkok.

   This blog will take a look at several one-off attempts at comedy franchising and the decidedly mixed results. Just to make one thing clear, a franchise consists of three or more films. Anything less is just a sequel to a successful film.

"Horrible Bosses 2"(2014)
Wow, I didn't have to look far for another example. Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis and Charlie Day were an unlikely hit in 2011, delivering broad laughs as they plotted to kill their boss caricatures. They were REALLY lucky they got away with it the first time.

   This needless sequel contains more cheap laughs and wildly implausible situations, and your appreciation level for the varied talents of the trio pictured above is the real determining factor. For me, a little Charlie Day goes a long way. Jennifer Aniston is back because she's Jennifer Aniston, and I guess the idea of her playing a man-eating, sex-crazed slut is supposed to be funny in itself. I'm sure Kevin Spacey and Jamie Foxx were paid handsomely to reappear, while a villainous Christoph Waltz joins the list of slumming Oscar winners. It isn't horrible, but don't mistake that for an endorsement. You have to pick your battles in life, and we were all too busy renouncing Harry and Lloyd to notice these three bozos breaking in the back door.

"Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde"(2003)
The 2001 original was a pleasant surprise that launched Reese Witherspoon. I wasn't expecting to fall for her cheery ditz Elle Woods as she improbably made her way through Harvard Law, but that's exactly what happened. It was "Clueless" meets "My Cousin Vinny", and proof that you should never judge a book by it's cover. But I decided to break things off on the Fourth of July weekend in 2003 when she showed up on Capitol Hill to save her pet Chihuahua's birth mother. Reese pocketed a paycheck equal to the first film's entire budget, and Sally Field and Bob Newhart presumably signed on without seeing a script(or at least, I hope). Even Luke Wilson looks slightly embarrassed. Memo to everyone involved- when your movie's plot is this insultingly stupid, YOU DON"T HAVE A MOVIE.

   Witherspoon wisely put away her pink ensemble and bounced back with a Best Actress Oscar win for 2005's "Walk The Line". She'll get nominated again this year for "Wild". Let's hope she never does anything this wild ever again.

"Nutty Professor II: The Klumps"(2000)
Has any comedian ever squandered more of the public's trust than Eddie Murphy? With all due respect to the latex-wearing wunderkind, the answer is no, I'm afraid. Eddie was flirting with irrelevance("Vampire In Brooklyn", anyone?) going into his ribald 1996 remake of the 1963 Jerry Lewis classic that scored a career-saving sum of $128 million domestically in the summer of "Independence Day". However, Murphy has apparently never heard the word 'overkill' nor does he believe in having too much of a good thing(more on that later) because he donned the fat suit again four years later as the brilliant but obese Sherman Klump and all the members of his cheerfully vulgar family. The first film's message about being happy with yourself is replaced by a series of lame, gross-out gags more obnoxious and off-putting than Buddy Love himself. I knew I had no interest in a "Nutty III" the moment I saw Larry Miller violated by a giant hamster. Nobody stepped in to inform the future "Norbit" star that none of this was particularly funny. Murphy was indeed headed down a dark path.

   "Nutty II" made money, but after a hefty $42 million opening weekend, malnourished viewers weren't sitting down for any more meals with the Klump clan. Janet Jackson added almost nothing to the pitiful proceedings(where was Jada?) besides her inescapable, deceptively sweet soundtrack contribution "Doesn't Really Matter".

"Blues Brothers 2000"(1998)
Oh, lord. Where do I begin? How about the title and the fact that the movie was released in 1998. The untimely death of original star John Belushi sixteen years earlier should have been an insurmountable roadblock. Did I mention that the first film came out in 1980? That's the year I was born. Sure, it was successful, but was there any human being on the planet wanting for a sequel the year I graduated high school?! Not according to the pathetic box office tally. Most of the films on this list are comedy gold compared to this calamity.

   Dan Aykroyd and director John Landis went back to the well in a desperate attempt to resuscitate their dying careers, while the normally reliable John Goodman was certainly blackmailed into accepting this gig on his way to the set of "The Big Lebowski". Unfortunately, whenever Aykroyd really has his heart set on an idea, it's usually a bad one.

"Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls"(1995)
Jim Carrey is revealed to be a repeat offender as we turn back the clock. This Canadian cut-up was the hottest comedic performer of the Clinton era, and it's all because the first "Ace" dropped the same year as "D&D"("The Mask" made it a hat trick). Appreciative young moviegoers were literally willing to accept ANYTHING Jim Carrey did by 1995 and he took full advantage of that.

   His inauguration as the wacky pet detective was a make-or-break-type scenario, and he's clearly reveling in that film's shocking success a year later as the ensuing anarchy made Adam Sandler's big screen career possible. The Africa-set "Ace 2" also cleaned up at the holiday box office, but Carrey must have felt some guilt afterwards. It wasn't long before he started making movies like "The Truman Show", "Man on the Moon" and "The Majestic" in a futile effort to transition into a Tom Hanks-style leading man. The existence of "Dumb & Dumber To" indicates that his crisis of conscience is over and Brentwood property taxes must be pretty high. So go ahead and make Ace Ventura 3, Jim. I dare you.

"City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly's Gold"(1994)
Billy Crystal peaked as cinema's unlikeliest cowboy in the immensely enjoyable and resonant 1991 comedy hit that filled more theater seats than his iconic courtship of Meg Ryan two years earlier. Everyone's favorite Academy Awards host was really rolling back then, and he got to watch co-star Jack Palance pick up the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his memorable role as grizzled trail-boss Curly. Comedy is typically treated as inferior to drama, which makes any sort of recognition on Hollywood's biggest night a rare and special occurrence. Lightning wouldn't strike twice, however.

   Grown-ups loved the original's sharp exploration into various forms of mid-life crisis. This far less sophisticated sequel seems to be aimed at teenagers with it's contrived treasure map plot and the shameless reappearance of Palance as Curly's identical twin brother Duke. The late Bruno Kirby's absence is never explained(he hated the script), completely ignoring the firm friendship that was established the first time around. Jon Lovitz wasn't a bad substitute, though as Crystal's boorish brother and Daniel Stern gamely reprises his role as lovable loser Phil. I must admit that their antics push the film into guilty pleasure territory and caused me to stop my channel-surfing more than once. But that doesn't change the fact that Billy's stock(and the box office totals) both took a noticeable drop.

"Wayne's World 2"(1993)
I can't blame Wayne and Garth for wanting to put on a rock concert. When Mike Myers and Dana Carvey first brought their head-banging alter egos to the big screen in '92, the results were a surprise box office smash that reconfirmed the relevance of SNL. It's impossible not to think of this duo whenever Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" comes blaring on the radio. Trust me, this flick was popular and the public didn't have to wait long for an encore.

   Christopher Walken replaces Rob Lowe as Wayne's buttoned-up adversary in this fast-tracked follow-up, and a host of cameos indicates that just about everyone wanted to join the party. Unfortunately, "WW2" sold significantly fewer tickets during the holidays in '93, temporarily making Myers wary of the sequel business(Shrek and Austin Powers would later cure any such fears). Some of the gags work, some don't, but any movie that boasts appearances by Heather Locklear AND Kim Basinger can't be all bad.

"Three Men and a Little Lady"(1990)
Here's a quick history lesson- Tom Selleck, Ted Danson and Steve Guttenberg were all household names when they shared parental duties(and a ludicrously spacious Manhattan apartment) in their hugely successful family comedy "Three Men and a Baby". You couldn't avoid Magnum, Malone and Mahoney as they struggled to change diapers, buy the right baby food and sing lullabies in 1987 if you tried, and why on earth would you want to? It was the highest grossing film of the year, believe it or not, and director Leonard Nimoy(Spock!) even threw in a superfluous drug dealer subplot for good measure. A sequel, as they say, was inevitable.

   That long-standing urban legend about a ghost boy haunting the "Baby" set was much more entertaining than anything that happened once Mary became a 'little lady'(that infamous "ghost" sighting at the window was a cardboard cut-out of Danson in case anybody is STILL wondering). Our heroes head to England to stop her mother(Nancy Travis) from marrying the wrong guy in this extended sitcom that the public had a much easier time avoiding as the '90s got underway. There's been some recent talk of a third film titled "Three Men and a Bride". Some may scoff at that notion, but we live in a world with seven "Fast & Furious" movies(so far). Go for it, guys.

"Another 48 Hrs."(1990)
Eddie Murphy is no stranger to sequels. They say he's made more than anyone in the modern era. Even if that's hyperbole, the upcoming "Beverly Hills Cop IV" will nudge him closer to that dubious distinction. Considering how hot the brash SNL alum was in the '80s, it's safe to say that we would have lapped up a second helping of Akeem and Billy Ray Valentine, too if Murphy had felt like giving it to us.

   His first pairing with Nick Nolte was a December hit in 1982 that got the ball rolling on Eddie's world domination. It was as impressive a film debut as you'll ever see, and producing a sequel was as simple as sending Axel F back to Beverly Hills, which brings me to an interesting point. The action genre is definitely the most sequel-friendly and this film really belongs more in that category. Critics usually don't take kindly to continuations that don't really have to work for it, and were quick to throw out the 'lazy rehash' tag when faced with a new set of villains and not much else. That's where "Another 48 Hrs." does deliver, though. I don't need to watch "Sons of Anarchy" to see scary, gun-toting bikers because "Cherry" Ganz and co. are right here. Not to mention an absurd amount of broken glass. Director Walter Hill must have been going for the world record. Seriously, somebody needs to start the "Another 48 Hrs."/broken glass drinking game. I can't believe that doesn't exist yet.

   Nolte and Murphy are no Gibson and Glover, but they're a better tag team than Chan and Tucker and Smith and Lawrence in my opinion. Whenever I come across the crusty Jack Cates and the irascible Reggie Hammond rollicking through San Fran in that piece-of-shit, sky-blue Cadillac on late night cable, I'm usually down for their impromptu fistfights and politically incorrect insults.

"Caddyshack II"(1988)
I may have spoken too soon when I handed "Blues Brothers 2000" the label of 'biggest travesty' on this list. It's like comparing a punch in the face to a kick in the nuts. In a perfect world, you never have to experience either one. But we both know that this is far from a perfect world. There's never been a kind word spoken about "Caddyshack II". As a matter of fact, it's considered so unholy and evil that it's barely been spoken of AT ALL in the last 25-plus years.

   You'd be hard-pressed to find a more iconic comedy than the late, great Harold Ramis' directorial debut, also released in 1980, coincidentally. Bill Murray proved his cinematic worth in his largely improvised role of Karl the groundskeeper and Rodney Dangerfield lobbed several of his trademark zingers. Who doesn't grin at the sight of that animatronic gopher dancing to 1980s soundtrack king Kenny Loggins? Chevy Chase was the only original cast member willing to sell his soul and a significant chunk of his respectability to this lazy, laugh-free enterprise eight years later(1989's "Fletch Lives" didn't do his comic legacy any favors, either btw). Dan Aykroyd does some early reputation-ruining of his own in a cringe-inducing attempt to fill the void left by his old pal Murray. Speaking of voids, are there any Jackie Mason fans out there? I didn't think so.

"Arthur 2: On the Rocks"(1988)
If you're under the age of 30, this is Dudley Moore and Liza Minnelli. If you were alive and aware of things when Ronald Reagan was President, you should know that this pint-sized Brit and Judy Garland's daughter got together in 1981 and delivered a crowd-pleasing smash that received four Oscar nominations, for which it won two(Best Supporting Actor John Gielgud and Best Original Song). Warner Bros. understandably thought that audiences would show up for a few more drinks with the tipsy title character, but like most drunks, his charm wears off after a while. Seven years to be exact.

   For the record, July 1988 is the third worst month in sequel history, behind July 1987("Superman IV", "Jaws: The Revenge") and June 1997("Batman & Robin", "Speed 2: Cruise Control"). You see, "Arthur 2" and "Caddyshack II" were both released in a two week span. Yikes. Fortunately, John McClane came to our rescue that summer and took out poor Arthur faster than that blonde terrorist with feet smaller than his sister. The reviews were savage and Moore's leading man days were officially numbered. However, I feel the need to point out that a recent cycle on STARZ/Encore revealed that this film isn't AS bad as it's reputation suggests. Yes, it's tired and unnecessary, but hardly excruciating. The characters are still likable enough and Arthur's hallucinatory visit from his late butler Hobson was(dare I say) touching. But that all-too brief exchange couldn't make up for an otherwise drab and lifeless affair. I should probably wrap this up now. I don't want to give Russell Brandt any ideas.

Forrest Gump vs. Pulp Fiction vs. The Shawshank Redemption

   There's a relatively small number of movies that everyone's seen and(most) everyone loves. Each decade produces a handful of such titles that go on to become cultural landmarks. We know the characters as well as we know members of our own family. We can recite all the dialogue. We abruptly stop our channel-surfing when we come across them on cable(which is a lot). But what happens when a trio of movies all fitting that description are released in the same year?

   I have to start off by saying that 1994 was a tremendous year for movies. One of the best I've ever witnessed. Most people don't pay much attention to the Academy Awards. They tend to lean toward artsy stuff that doesn't represent the viewing habits of the vast majority. Well, 1994 was NOT one of those years. The public was much more invested than usual. I don't think it's an exaggeration to call that year the fiercest, most nail-biting Oscar battle in history. We had not one, not two, but THREE movies up for Best Picture that could have easily won. The two films that lost are SO beloved that many wish we could go back and correct some sort of grave injustice. The Oscars are really a double-edged sword with the winners often facing the wrath of angry online 'critics' that love to toss around demeaning labels such as "safe" and "overrated"(just ask "Titanic"). Revisionist history comes into play in an attempt to tear down these 'inferior' films and replace them with that overlooked gem that we weren't intelligent or daring enough to fully embrace at the time. In a way, the arrogant attitudes of such film fans is every bit as pretentious and narrow-minded as those stodgy, invisible elder statesman that they claim to despise within the Academy.

   On the Fourth of July weekend in 1994, "Back to the Future" director Robert Zemeckis released "Forrest Gump". The film was a genuine phenomenon, that did the kind of business usually unseen outside of heavily-hyped, FX-laden extravaganzas. As a matter of fact, I don't recall "Forrest" getting any hype at all besides some very enthusiastic reviews, and we all know that actual professional critics don't have much of a hold over the average Joe(he's too busy looking at the sports pages). Tom Hanks was hot and was coming off a Best Actor win for "Philadelphia", but this was a true word-of-mouth hit, which means a whole bunch of people see a movie and really like it and they tell all their family and friends and they really like it and so on and so forth. I explain this because it so rarely happens in a day and age where the opening weekend is everything. The point being that this Southern simpleton earned his success. Bubba Gump Shrimp is a worldwide restaurant chain for god's sake. How many dramas gross $329 million domestically? That's how much "Guardians of the Galaxy" made this past summer, with the benefit of twenty years of inflation. Basically, Forrest kicks Star-Lord's ass. Bill Murray and Michael Keaton were reportedly up for the role, but I can't imagine anyone other than Hanks pulling this off with nearly the same results. He was the greatest actor of the Clinton era, and that's not up for debate. 'The Nicest Guy In Hollywood' somehow managed to cover all the bases and appeal to absolutely EVERYBODY. He coached baseball, romanced Meg Ryan(twice), took us to outer space, stormed the beaches of Normandy, and voiced Woody in "Toy Story"(twice). I swear, if Hanks had run for President in '96, he would have had a shot at winning that, too and I'm only half- joking.

   Zemeckis scored big with his favorite leading man yet again in 2000's "Cast Away", and should really be more famous considering his contributions("Who Framed Roger Rabbit", "Death Becomes Her", "The Polar Express", "Flight"). He's every bit as tech savvy as James Cameron and much more diverse than Peter Jackson. Maybe he should have grown a beard. 

"Gump" vs. "Pulp" is like good vs. evil. Light vs. dark. A mysterious, glowing briefcase vs. a box of chocolates. Thirty years of 20th century Americana vs. three days in the sordid lives of Los Angeles lowlifes. You can go for a run with Tom Hanks or do the twist with John Travolta. Apparently, your choice says a lot about you as a person. Could a movie featuring a heroin overdose, anal rape, and 265 uses of the "f" word REALLY take down the feel-good movie of the decade? In the fall of 1994, it seemed entirely possible. We're talking about a foul-mouthed high school dropout vs. Spielberg's most skilled apprentice. Quentin Tarantino's masterpiece received an orgasmic critical reaction in October, instantly catapulting it's brash writer-director into the stratosphere. His blistering breakthrough "Reservoir Dogs" got people talking. "PF" had them shouting from rooftops.

   Travolta was in the doghouse when he got that fateful call from QT. I mean, literally. He was on the set of "Look Who's Talking Now"(the one with the dogs). Quentin reminded us how talented and charismatic the man was. Six years later, JT would make us forget all over again in "Battlefield Earth", but we're not getting into any of that. This is a celebration of the biggest pre-Robert Downey Jr. comeback the industry had ever seen, as Travolta's resurgence saw him headlining hits like "Get Shorty", "Broken Arrow", and "Face/Off". But no one has ever benefitted from Tarantino's gutter poetry more than Sam Jackson. Before he put on that jheri-curled wig, he was the computer guy in "Jurassic Park" and an incompetent getaway car driver in "Goodfellas". He was looking like a bit player for life, until Tarantino handed him a few pages of awesomely embellished Bible passages. We have Jules Winfield to thank for SLJ appearing in approximately 4,867 movies since he blew away Brett and his big brain in that apartment, making him the biggest box office actor of all time.

   I don't see Tarantino ever taking the top prize at the Oscars(he has picked up two statues for screenwriting). It doesn't matter, though. I can't think of another director with a more devoted following, and not winning preserves his all-important 'cool' factor.

   Wait a second, who invited these guys? A movie about the friendship between two men that ISN'T about them trying to get laid? What do ya mean, they don't shoot anybody?! Talk about a dark horse. This is where revisionist history starts to come into play. "The Shawshank Redemption" was released on September 23(sandwiched in between "Gump" and "Pulp") and totally bombed. This Stephen King adaptation barely broke even with $28 million, an abysmal figure even by 1994 standards. But the critics were very supportive, leading to seven Academy Award nominations. It won NONE. Home video business was strong, however as Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman were given a warm welcome in living rooms across America. What happened next was truly astounding. In June 1997, Frank Darabont's crowning achievement premiered on TNT. The result was record-breaking ratings. Naturally, they showed the film again. And again. And again. And again. And again. A 2004 Sunday Times article reported that no more than two months pass without an airing of "Shawshank" on the Turner networks. I first got acquainted with "Red" Redding and discovered the cathartic joy of Andy Dufresne's prison break during this endless loop and I know you did as well.

   "Shawshank" currently sits at number one on IMBD's Top 250 and has for a while("The Godfather" is a close second). Empire magazine's voters ranked it the fourth greatest movie of all time in two separate polls taken in 2008 and 2014. Morgan Freeman can accurately be described as a national treasure at this point, with his dignified presence, quiet authority and soothing vocals seemingly present in countless documentaries and commercials. We'd all have this man narrate our life stories if we could afford it. "It's a Wonderful Life" has a reason to be concerned if this flick gets any more popular. "The Wizard of Oz" and "Citizen Kane" are hardly safe anymore.

   Darabont never scaled these heights again, although "The Green Mile" was a well-received hit in '99(oh, Hanks was in that one, too). He seems to have a knack for bringing the literary works of Stephen King to life on the big screen and wants to do it some more. He can count me in.


   There are certainly compelling arguments to be made in each direction, but there can only be one winner on Hollywood's biggest night and you're looking at him. I honestly feel that Zemeckis beats Tarantino and Darabont and Hanks beats Travolta and Freeman. That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it, but there's really no losers here(well, except for Bubba, Zed and the Warden). There are no wrong answers, either. We all win when films this iconic get produced and the ONLY reason anyone thinks to compare them is because they were all released in a three month span. They all take up permanent residence on my DVD rack because sometimes I'm in the mood to see(or hear) Forrest's horny principal banging Sally Field and other days I'd rather see Butch and his annoying French girlfriend ride away on that chopper. Listening to Mozart with Andy is occasionally more appealing than listening to another legless Lt. Dan rant or picking up pieces of Marvin's skull, but Pumpkin and Honey Bunny are more lively breakfast companions than Heywood and Brooks. Some days I'd rather play ball with Red then ping pong with Forrest, and when I've had all I can take of Jenny's head games, I've been driven to snort cocaine(or heroin) with Mia Wallace. I could watch Andy tunnel his way to freedom again right now, but later on I might get a craving for shrimp or a $5 shake. You get the idea.

1989- The Greatest Summer Movie Season Ever?

  
   The summer movie season, as we know it today, officially began with the release of Steven Spielberg's monumental "Jaws" in 1975. Nearly every summer since has been a heated battle for box office supremacy as a rapid succession of action-packed spectacles vie for your hard-earned dollars. With each passing year it gets a harder to find the films that actually deserve it, which got me thinking- what IS the greatest summer movie season ever?

   According to my research, there are quite a few contenders(1982, 1984, 1988, 1990, 1993, 1994, 2002, 2004, 2008), but ONE summer stands a little taller than all the rest. The summer of '89 was nirvana for a nine year old, and the adults didn't have it too bad either as I later discovered once my tastes had matured a bit. So let's get down to business because there's PLENTY of it. Join me as I journey back to the crackling climax of the most fun decade in film history.

   You can have Robert Downey Jr. and Michael Bay's CGI robots. I'll take Harrison Ford on horseback, galloping after a tank filled with Nazis in the desert any day of the week. Don't let "Crystal Skull" cloud your judgment. Indiana Jones is the greatest hero of the 1980s without question, and Ford is the decade's premier leading man. His third and final(I'm still in denial) adventure got the season started off right on Memorial Day weekend. I was there with my family and it was two hours of pure cinematic bliss. "Raiders" will always get more respect and deservedly so. That unforgettable 1981 romp has sheer novelty on it's side, but I'll be damned if "Last Crusade" isn't it's equal. We got an action sequence for every mode of transportation and Sean Connery's casting was a stroke of genius. The moment the original 007 bellows "Junior!" for the first time(at roughly the 47 minute mark, that's how many times I've seen it), you're in movie heaven.

   The holy grail is the ultimate artifact and Indy was the ultimate source for pure summer escapism. "LC" feels like the end of an era in retrospect, and while I love the '90s for entirely different reasons, Scorsese and Tarantino had us rooting for the bad guys and there was a noticeable shortage of swashbuckling. Spielberg got more 'serious', tackling historical passion projects like 'Schindler's List", "Saving Private Ryan" and "Lincoln", while "Jurassic Park" went down as his last truly great popcorn flick(although I'm partial to "Minority Report "). Our greatest living director undoubtedly enhanced my childhood and countless others, and I'd like to take this opportunity to thank him for making me the man I am today. And Harrison Ford's three-day old beard, of course. Dr. Jones is always welcome in my living room. The 1930s version, that is.

   I love how diverse this summer was. That's the late, great Robin Williams pictured above celebrating one of his earliest triumphs, "Dead Poets Society". Back in Robin's heyday, 'good' movies weren't limited to that rigid Oct-Dec Oscar bait block. Now you're hard-pressed to find a worthwhile drama any other time of year. You can practically disregard everything that comes out between January and April, but that's a discussion for another day. Anyway, there were actually smart entertainment options for adults interested in more than just explosions and FX. That's something I sorely miss.

   The unorthodox, inspirational Mr. Keating more than held his own against extremely formidable fantasy fare with $96 million in ticket sales, eventually earning four Academy Award nominations including Best Picture. The Captain lost to "Driving Miss Daisy", but this film was still an absolute victory. Seize the day. Robin sure did.

   Five years earlier, Bill Murray became a permanent movie star and Dan Aykroyd became a temporary one, in Ivan Reitman's supernatural comedy sensation "Ghostbusters". I mentioned 1984 being a stellar summer for that very reason(along with first runner-up "Temple of Doom") which made 1989 a banner year for devotees of several '80s properties. But apparently it wasn't so easy getting this foursome back in proton packs. Supposedly, a mandatory meeting was held in early 1988 with all the key players to find out who or what was stopping everyone else in the room from making a massive pile of $$$. That meeting ended with studio top brass demanding that the sequel be in production within six months. That sort of pressure usually doesn't translate to quality or creativity, so we basically got the same movie all over again. I know a lot of people that weren't complaining, though.

   It just took too long to get "GBII" made. If it had come out in 1986 or '87, the box office could've been doubled and we wouldn't have been subjected to a decade of endless rumors and speculation about a third film because it would've been out in '89! THAT'S how you roll out a franchise, folks. This shit has to be done in a timely fashion. The GB craze was over by the early '90s(even the animated series concluded in '91) and there weren't nearly as many people humming Ray Parker's immortal theme song on their way to work. Both films became a permanent fixture on cable and I know I stopped my channel-surfing more than once when I saw that dancing toaster, but Dan Aykroyd's voice was the only one crying out for a trilogy. The reason can be found directly below.

   The most financially successful movie that Steven Spielberg and George Lucas had nothing to do with opened on June 23, 1989. You couldn't escape this bad-ass logo that year if you wanted to, and why would you? You see, things were quite a bit different then. Superheroes movies weren't released once a month, there wasn't this coldly calculated 'Cinematic Universe' crowding up the multiplex, swallowing up the expendable incomes of a generation that wasn't even alive when Michael Keaton kick-started a sub-genre by whispering two words("I'm Batman"). I know that Chris Reeve took flight more than a decade earlier, but the "Superman" series crapped out a couple of years before, casting serious doubt on the long-term viability of the whole superhero thing. Tim Burton deserves the credit(or the blame, depending on your point-of-view) for getting this ball rolling. "Batman" wasn't just a movie. It was a mass-merchandised pop culture event with unprecedented hype, and you could feel it in the air. It HAD to been seen, or you were getting excluded from conversations about the Batmobile, Nicholson's OTT Clown Prince of Crime and Kim Basinger's luscious blonde locks(okay, maybe I'm alone on that one). A climate like this will NEVER be recreated because superhero movies AREN'T special anymore. Blame Marvel for that.

"You got $60 million? But I'm the hero".

   This film's popularity just can't be overstated. There were only two possible choices for Halloween that year, and it's impact can still be felt more than a quarter-century on. Sure, the first set of Bat flicks didn't progress the way they were supposed to during the Clinton administration thanks to that shameful Schumacher and parasitic WB execs, and there's a tendency to bestow savoir status on Chris Nolan. But as great as "The Dark Knight" was, let's not forget where it all began.

   Every summer has a sleeper hit and you're looking at it. Long before Pixar and DreamWorks went to war, a non-animated family film could still draw a big crowd, and "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" did just that. Joe Johnston's high-concept hit was an agreeable back-up plan for many parents that were secretly glad "Batman" was sold out because they heard about the Joker's hand-buzzer. Little kids were unafraid of Rick Moranis who was on quite a roll(more on that later) and Wayne Szalinski was the kookiest scientist this side of Doc Brown. "Honey" managed to land among the top twenty-five highest grossers of the entire decade without ever taking the top spot at the box office, ultimately becoming the most successful live action Disney film ever circa 1989. Those are some impressive credentials.

   While not exactly a classic, the film seems to be fondly remembered by my age group(the '92 sequel "Honey, I Blew Up the Kid", not so much) for it's giant Cheerios, perilous blades of grass and that cute ant(admit it, you cried).

   I'd just like to take a moment and show some love for "The Karate Kid Part III", because it's so ludicrously entertaining.  Daniel-san and Mr. Miyagi's swan song was released on June 30 and took a worse beating at the box office than Daniel took from 'karate's bad boy' Mike Barnes, in that tense tournament finale, thanks to the two abovementioned blockbusters. Terry Silver couldn't compete with Jack's Joker or that scary painting in "GBII", but he's still a slime-ball for the ages. Thomas Ian Griffith's pony-tailed, malevolent force of nature more than made up for Daniel's incessant whining(no wonder clay-making cutie Jessica Andrews only wanted to be a platonic pal).  His private karate lessons are the reason my viewings of this movie has reached the triple digits, and I'm unashamed of that. If a man can't see, he can't fight.

   Anybody that shits on "KKIII", and there were MANY pompous critics that did just that(a wholly unjust 16% on RT) is missing out on a delicious slice of '80s awesomeness. Just kick back and enjoy this film next time you come across it on cable(I'll bet it's on right now) because it was the last time a story such as the elaborate revenge plot cooked up by that California crime syndicate known as the Cobra Kai dojo would ever be deemed acceptable to a mass audience.

   Now would be a good time to mention that 1989 was the year that the buddy cop movie peaked. Sorry, Tango & Cash, but this is the duo I turn to when I'm in need of a fix. If Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon shot people, they still wouldn't hold a candle to Gibson and Glover. Timothy Dalton's dull second Bond outing "License to Kill" didn't stand a chance. James Cameron's underwater epic "The Abyss" was largely ignored. That's how serious this summer was. Riggs and Murtaugh's explosive encore blasted onto screens in mid-July, knocking the Dark Knight out of the number one spot at the box office, and stayed there for three weeks. Did I mention it was rated R? It's easy to see why I'm so nostalgic for this era, because there was literally something for EVERYONE.

   This film's robust box office(it was third for the year behind "Batman" and "Indy") secured Mel Gibson's position on the A-list, allowing him the freedom(no pun intended) to step behind the camera for his 1995 masterpiece "Braveheart". Mel's ex-wife and his seven or eight kids should be extremely grateful that the multiple gunshot wounds Riggs suffered at the bottom of that ship in the rip-roaring finale weren't fatal, because "LW3" and "4" ended up bolstering all of their bank accounts, too. What I'm trying to say is that the winning formula of action and laughs("They FUCK you at the drive-thru") was perfected right here, and as long as the "Lethal" family stuck to it(they did), the only bomb was on Murtaugh's toilet.

The greatest romantic comedy not called "Annie Hall" dropped in late July to pose the eternal question- can men and women ever really be just friends?  Yes and no, according to director Rob Reiner and screenwriter Nora Ephron in their career-defining collaboration. This may honestly be the best film of the year, if I put aside my aging fan-boy allegiances. Billy Crystal has never had a better showcase for his sardonic wit and Meg Ryan has never managed to be more appealing despite her MANY appearances in the genre. Just think about how overwhelming it was for theater patrons between May-August to look up at the marquee and see all of these titles. You could watch Riggs go ballistic on a boat or have lunch with Sally Albright. You weren't regretting either decision.

 How adorable was Meg Ryan in '89? This is the Meg I choose to remember before Russell Crowe and some nameless plastic surgeon ruined our relationship. We weren't even able to stay friends. That's how bad things got. Fortunately, film is forever and I can relive the good times whenever I want. Ditto for Rob Reiner.

   Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan weren't the sole source of laughs in 1989. Steve Martin was the hottest comedic performer of this era not named Eddie Murphy, and he extended his late '80s hot streak("Roxanne", PT&A") in Ron Howard's humorous look at uh, parenthood from every conceivable angle. The comedy landscape has become increasingly dire in recent years, as evidenced by this past summer's slate("Neighbors", "Sex Tape", "Tammy", "Let's Be Cops"). I'm not trying to take some puritanical stance here, but all this crass crap really leaves me yearning for inoffensive family-friendly comedies like "Parenthood" and "Uncle Buck"(that John Candy classic came out in mid-August). This film boasted an ensemble that included Mary Steenburgen, Dianne Wiest, Jason Robards, Tom Hulce, Keanu Reeves and (yes) Joaquin Phoenix. They all contributed to the $100 million box office total(the magic number in those days). Wait a minute, I'm forgetting someone...

   How hot was Rick Moranis in '89? "Parenthood" made it a hat trick for the bespectacled SCTV graduate who had not one, not two, but THREE $100 million hits that summer. I know what you're thinking- how was this comedic titan allowed to retire so quietly? The answer can be found in 1996's "Big Bully", one of the few films that can be seen in it's entirety on YouTube(as of this writing), so check out his "funny" feud with Tom Arnold sometime.

Actually,... DON'T.

   So, there you have it. You know it was a hellacious summer when Brian De Palma's "Casualties of War" is an afterthought. This Sean Penn-Michael J Fox face-off would have been a definite highlight of any other year. Oh, and speaking of MJF...

   I know I'm cheating here, because Marty and Doc made they're long-awaited return on Thanksgiving Eve. My point is, forget the summer. Was 1989 THE greatest movie YEAR EVER??