The Biggest Flops of All Time- The '00s

•      This post will recap the most colossal misfires of the last decade. It's not even a matter of opinion that these films failed and failed miserably. Many movies are released in any given year that vanish without a trace and are quickly forgotten. But the memory of some of these movies linger in the public subconsciousness and will haunt everyone involved for the rest of their days. Careers were ended, reputations were shattered, and hundreds of millions of dollars were blown on ideas that should have never seen the light of day. These are the biggest bombs from 2000-09.

"Battlefield Earth"(2000)
John Travolta gave up his post- "Pulp Fiction" cool and a significant amount of his credibility when he made good on his promise to Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard to bring his sci-fi novel to the big screen. He had a hard time getting studio executives interested in the idea until he agreed to contribute millions of dollars of his own money to the production. It's rumored that even Tom Cruise warned JT that the film was a bad idea. But Travolta wholeheartedly believed in his pet project, envisioning merchandise and sequels and telling the press it was gonna be "better than Star Wars". He seemed totally oblivious to the ugly costumes/make-up, thoroughly silly plot, piss poor special effects, hammy acting, and atrocious dialogue. A rectal exam is more fun than sitting through this movie. So is rolling around in garbage. Both require a long, hot shower afterwards. It was voted the 'Worst Movie of the Century' according to the Razzies. Considering the thousands of films that have been released in the last twelve years, that is ONE dubious distinction. Travolta stands behind the film- "It lives on. We broke new ground". Sadly, he's right.

"Town & Country"(2001)
The biggest flop that you're blissfully unaware of, this seemingly modest adult relationship comedy had a budget that ballooned close to $100 million. How on Earth did this 'small scale' production literally turn into one of the largest fiascos in all of motion pictures? Well, when the film was coming together in the late '90s, stars Warren Beatty, Goldie Hawn, and Diane Keaton were still commanding big salaries. Multiple rewrites to the lackluster script and onset tantrums(Beatty demanded a ridiculous number of takes) led to this movie taking ONE FULL YEAR to shoot. That's completely unheard of. With no money left for advertising, this lukewarm affair took in a meager $6.7 million at the box office when it was quietly dropped in theaters. Beatty and Hawn retired from acting shortly thereafter. I'm not sure they had a choice in the matter.

"Rollerball"(2002)
The 1975 original starred James Caan and was a cult classic that seemed perfectly suitable for an update. This action oriented remake was originally scheduled for a summer 2001 opening, but the release date got pushed back FOUR times. Not a good sign at all. The studio needed time to change the rating from R to PG-13 to make it more kid friendly, but ultimately killed what little appeal it may have had. How did audiences resist the C-list cast of Chris Klein of "American Pie" fame, LL Cool J, and Rebecca Romijn Stamos? Were there no real actors available? If this had been a hit, Klein's career would have been taken to the next level. The opposite happened and Klein found out, much to his chagrin, that there was no level below the level that he was at. The film was badly executed and utterly forgettable in every way. It was the third strike for "Die Hard" director John McTiernan- he had previously stumbled on "Last Action Hero" and "The 13th Warrior".




"The Adventures of Pluto Nash"(2002)
Eddie Murphy is an anomaly. Despite a staggering amount of flops, he somehow remained a major star that still got paid his desired salary to headline films. Movies like "Showtime", I Spy", "Daddy Day Care", The Haunted Mansion", "Norbit", "Meet Dave", and "Imagine That" should have spelled the end, but one flop stands out above(or below) all others in the one-time king of comedy's '00s shit pile. This wildly ill-conceived outer space romp grossed $7 million in the summer of 2002 on a budget of $100 million. I'd love to have seen the reactions of all the suits at Warner Bros on the morning those numbers came in. Director Nick Underwood("City Slickers") surely rues the day he met Murphy and was forced to retreat to television to try and salvage his career. Murphy claims to know two or three people that liked the movie. Family members don't count, Eddie.

"Gigli"(2003)
Who could forget the pop culture phenomenon known as 'Bennifer'. Tabloids, entertainment shows and music videos reminded us on a daily basis of how in love they were. The movie that brought them together is not as bad as it's reputation suggests, but it is far, FAR from good. Ben Affleck and Jennifer  Lopez are probably the least plausible gangsters in movie history, there's a very stupid plot involving the kidnapping of a judge's retarded son and I'm positive Al Pacino and Christopher Walken didn't read the script before they showed up to deliver their bizarre extended cameos. The title is terrible, too. Still, this movie's failure shouldn't have been that big a deal. Bad movies come out and don't do well all the time, right? The difference is that Affleck and Lopez spent the previous twelve months rubbing the unbelievable awesomeness of their lives in the face of every person in the civilized world and when this movie tanked, the public arguably responded to the news with as much jubilation as they did on the day Saddam Hussein was captured. Ben and Jen broke up six months later and resumed their careers with some newfound humility. Director Martin Brest("Beverly Hills Cop") hasn't worked since.

"The Alamo"(2004)
Remember "The Alamo"? Don't feel bad, nobody else does either. Ron Howard and Russell Crowe dodged a bullet when they passed on one of the costliest flops in history(Howard got grazed though, he stayed on as a producer). Dennis Quaid, Jason Patrick, and Billy Bob Thornton sloughed through this staid Oscar bait. The depiction of the Texas Revolution is said to be historically accurate. That hardly matters when the results are this boring. The film got steamrolled by "The Passion of the Christ" at the spring '04 box office, collecting a mere $22 million on a budget of $95 million.

"Catwoman"(2004)
After Michelle Pfeiffer stole the show in Tim Burton's "Batman Returns", there was talk of a Catwoman movie. But Pfeiffer and Burton lost interest in the project after getting a look at the lousy script for the fatal feline's solo outing and moved on. That same script was removed from a dusty shelf at Warner Bros ten years later and given the green light with newly crowned Oscar winner Halle Berry in the lead role. The result was quite possibly the most reviled film in the comic book film genre and a stain on the legacy of an iconic character. French director Pitof was the definition of a hack and Sharon Stone, no stranger to stinkers, adds nothing as the villain. But a good natured Berry actually showed up to accept her Razzie that year for Worst Actress and delivered a speech more memorable than anything that happened in the film- "I'd like to thank Warner Bros for casting me in this godawful, piece of shit movie. It was just what my career needed".

"Stealth"(2005)
Moviegoers didn't feel the need for speed in the movie that Roger Ebert described as a, "dumbed down ripoff of Top Gun". Considering the 1980s Tom Cruise blockbuster wasn't exactly thought-provoking stuff either, I don't know what that says about "Stealth" other than Jamie Foxx couldn't have wanted this to be his first post-Oscar project(Jessica Biel and Josh Lucas seemed right at home though). With a gross of $35 million on a budget of $135 million, they all went down in flames.

"Sahara"(2005)
It's easy to pick on Mathew McConaughey. The once promising actor took a break from lame romantic comedies to star in this equally lame adventure flick that was originally intended to be the start of an Indiana Jones-style franchise. That plan was abandoned rather quickly. The film actually opened at number one in the summer of '05 and took in a total of $120 million worldwide. That's a very respectable haul by most standards. The problem is that the production and marketing costs came to $240 million. A lengthy court battle, documented by the LA Times, ensued involving the producers in an attempt to figure out how the budget got so out of control. Apparently laws may have been broken during the shoot in Morocco. This film was a crime in more ways than one. And what the hell happened to Steve Zahn?

"The Invasion"(2007)
I don't understand how Nicole Kidman remains so highly regarded. Sure, she got the decade off to a strong start with unlikely hits like "Moulin Rouge" and "The Others" and picked up an Oscar for "The Hours". But then she made "The Human Stain", "The Stepford Wives", "Birth", "Bewitched", "The Interpreter", "The Golden Compass" and "Australia". She also squeezed this nonsensical sci-fi thriller into her long losing streak. Another needless remake of 1956's "Invasion of the Body Snatchers", it was the first and last Hollywood feature for Dutch director Oliver Hirschbeigel(he was fired before even completing the film) and grossed $15 million on a budget of $80 million. If Kidman is the 'Actress of the Decade', then I'm Mr. Olympia.

More mega flops

"Supernova"(2000)
"Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within"(2001)
"Hart's War"(2002)
"Windtalkers"(2002)
"K19: The Widowmaker"(2002)
"Timeline"(2003)
"Alexander"(2004)
"Speed Racer"(2008)
"The Spirit"(2008)
"Land of the Lost"(2009)

R.I.P. Tony Scott 1944-2012

   On August 19th, Hollywood was stunned by the news that 68 year old British director Tony Scott took his own life by jumping off a bridge in L.A. Some news outlets reported that he had inoperable brain cancer. His family denies this, and no reason was given in the suicide note that he left behind. The motive behind his shocking final act is currently a complete mystery, and there's a chance we may never know. One thing I do know is that Scott was the most underrated director of the last 25 years. He may have lived in the shadow of his celebrated older brother Ridley("Alien", "Blade Runner"), but you could argue that Tony was the more consistent crowd-pleaser. He never even considered tackling some 'important' high minded themes or a pretentious, art house film. There was only ever one goal when he stepped behind a camera and that was to entertain the hell out of an audience. An unapologetically commercial filmmaker, Tony was always right at home with big stars and big budgets. Many directors have no distinguishable characteristics- no style, no flair. But I always knew when I was watching a Tony Scott movie. His work was always super slick,  high energy, fast-paced, and incredibly polished. He had many distinctive trademarks- excellent lighting, extreme close-ups, pop soundtracks, and that ever present smoky background. He wanted to throw you right into the aggressive, adrenaline charged world that all of his films took place in. He was Michael Bay before there was Michael Bay, except a much better storyteller. Although he was synonymous with action, he was also an actor's director. He worked with many actors more than once, some of them megastars that obviously trusted his judgment and enjoyed teaming with him. Most of you are huge Tony Scott fans and probably never even knew it. Let's recap the many highlights(and occasional lowlights) of this unsung pioneer. Some of the accompanying pictures are big and in your face. That's the way Tony liked to do things.

"Top Gun"(1986)
Although his first movie was the 1983 vampire thriller "The Hunger", Scott cemented his reputation as a visual poet with his sophmore effort, unquestionably one of the most popular movies of the 1980s. Heck, this movie IS the '80s. He deserves much of the credit for making Tom Cruise a global superstar because he lavished just as much attention(if not more) on his grinning, cocksure 24 year old leading man as he does on his kinetic aerial sequences. Navy recruitment skyrocketed after the release of this film, and I'm sure there's still plenty of  guys out there who dream about being the impossibly cool Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell.

"Beverly Hills Cop II"(1987)
The 1984 original did for Eddie Murphy what "Top Gun" did for Cruise, and Tony was hired to bring his ferocity to street-smart Detroit detective Axel Foley's inevitable second trip to the West Coast. He combined some thrilling action with Murphy's relentless bag of comedic tricks, and made the biggest hit in the summer of '87. Judge Reinhold, Brigitte Nielsen and Gilbert Gottfried would never experience these dizzying heights again.

"Revenge"(1990)
Kevin Costner had a remarkable run of hits in the late '80s and early '90s, but in between "Field of Dreams" and "Dances with Wolves" he made this forgotten flop, the first failure for him AND Scott. Box office numbers are not always a fair indicator of quality, however. A few years later, Costner would have loved to have had a 'failure' like this. Quentin Tarantino, who was about to get his foot in the door collaborating with Scott, has called this film a masterpiece, and while I wouldn't quite go THAT far, it does have it's moments. Graphic sex scenes and startling violence punctuate this tale of doomed lovers(Costner and Madeline Stowe), while Anthony Quinn is good as a much-feared Mexican crime boss whose retribution is swift and brutal.

"Days of Thunder"(1990)
Cruise reunited with Scott to play a hot shot race car driver with the only-in-the-movies name of Cole Trickle in this high octane thrill ride. This movie is most noteworthy for introducing audiences(and Cruise) to stunning Australian beauty Nicole Kidman as the doctor(lol!) he meets and falls for after a devastating crash leaves him unable to compete. Robert Duvall, Michael Rooker, Randy Quaid, and Cary Elwes all appear in supporting roles. "It's Top Gun on a racetrack", critics grumbled in the summer of 1990. Yeah, so?

"The Last Boy Scout"(1992)
A burnt out private eye(Bruce Willis) teams up with a cocky ex-football star(Damon Wayans) to investigate a murder which puts them in conflict with an assortment of bad guys. It's basically just another violent cartoon from the "Lethal Weapon/Die Hard" factory, with Willis once again cast as a smirking antihero, but the action loving masses couldn't care less. Every guy I've ever met seems to know every line of this movie. Maybe Scott and company missed the boat by not producing a sequel that was strongly hinted at in the last reel. I know Damon Wayans would have been game.

"True Romance"(1993)
Scott assembled every hip actor, old and new, that he could find for his Tarantino scripted 'trash' masterpiece. It's the classic boy-meets-girl, boy-kills-girl's-pimp, boy-and-girl-hit-the-road-with-a-suitcase-full-of-cocaine movie. Some feel that QT could have done an even better job behind the lens. I strongly disagree. Tarantino is a gifted writer and an innovator, but he is NOT an action director. At least not in 1993. Scott was a master, and the hotel room fight to the death between Patricia Arquette and James Gandolfini and the insane final shootout could not have been staged better by anybody. Scott sadistically zooms in on Gary Oldman's evil mug, films a chat between Dennis Hopper and Christopher Walken, lets Brad Pitt lounge around and creates movie heaven.

"Crimson Tide"(1995)
This taut, claustrophobic submarine thriller was the first of five collaborations with Denzel Washington who plays a Naval officer locked in a tense battle of wills with his hard-ass superior(Gene Hackman). The interplay between the two actors is superb, and the film was a solid hit at the summer '95 box office, but like many of Scott's films, it always seems to go overlooked whenever great movies are discussed. Viggo Mortensen, James Gandolfini, and Jason Robards round out an impressive supporting cast.

"The Fan"(1996)
Baseball fanatic and unhinged knife salesman Gil Reharn (Robert De Niro) has an unhealthy obsession with his favorite slugger Bobby Rayburn(Wesley Snipes) in this over-the-top thriller that bombed at the box office in the summer of '96. Perhaps moviegoers were just sick of seeing De Niro play psychopaths. Whatever the reason, even Scott's worst movies are still guilty pleasures for the late night channel surfer.

"Enemy of the State"(1998)
It's certainly no wonder why a red-hot Will Smith chose Scott to helm the first vehicle in his quest to become the black Tom Cruise. He was in good hands in this conspiracy thriller that furthered the former Fresh Prince's leading man status and was also Scott's highest grossing film of the decade. This tale of high tech government surveillance is even more relevant today than it was in 1998, and when Gene Hackman's name is in the credits, you can feel safe automatically adding at least half a star to any film.

"Spy Game"(2001)
It's 1991 and retiring CIA agent Robert Redford must race to save his former protege Brad Pitt who has been captured in China, charged with espionage, and sentenced to death in 24 hours. We learn about the relationship between the two men via flashbacks that go back 20 years to their days in Vietnam. It has to be noted how Scott never failed to secure members of Hollywood's elite to headline his films. This was an ambitious and well crafted thriller with more brains than brawn and that's probably why it was only a modest hit at the box office. I think there was too much information for casual viewers to digest in one viewing, but this is a movie that deserves another look.

"Man on Fire"(2004)
"Creasey's art is death and he's about to create his masterpiece". Cool line delivered by Christopher Walken in Scott's most popular film of the '00s. Denzel Washington stars as a former CIA operative turned bodyguard who goes on a revenge rampage after his nine year old charge(child star extraordinaire Dakota Fanning) is kidnapped in Mexico. Has any filmmaker been the driving force behind more manly movies than Scott? The guy was never going to adapt a Jane Austen novel. There's surely going to be less testosterone in cinemas going forward now that the tough Brit is no longer around to counter the works of Stephenie Meyer and Nicholas Sparks. That's not to say that there aren't several effective quiet moments that nicely develop the relationship between Denzel and Dakota.

"Domino"(2005)
Keira Knightley isn't an obvious choice for this (almost)true story of a model turned bounty hunter, and this isn't a great movie by any stretch, but it is a brazen and ballsy one. Scott was experimenting with some wild, epilepsy-inducing editing/filming techniques and even if it wasn't entirely successful, he deserved credit for taking some risks which is more than I can say for most mainstream directors. And bringing Mickey Rourke back to the forefront has to count for something.

"Deja Vu"(2006)
Denzel Washington, who would star in all subsequent Scott films, is an ATF agent that travels back in time in an attempt to prevent a domestic terrorist attack in New Orleans in this intriguing thriller with a sci-fi twist that was a nice bounce back for Scott after the "Domino" debacle. The time travel logic works(sort of) if you're willing to suspend disbelief and not analyze things too much. Scott's death has reminded me of several films that I want to check out again and this is one of them.

"The Taking of Pelham 123"(2009)
In his fourth outing with Scott, Denzel Washington is a heroic dispatcher trying to reason with a maniac(John Travolta) holding hostages in a NYC subway in this competent but ultimately unnecessary remake of the 1974 thriller of the same name. Travolta hams it up in a villainous turn but like the other lesser films in the Scott canon, "The Last Boy Scout" and "The Fan", it's an agreeable enough time passer.

"Unstoppable"(2010)
Scott want out with a bang in this runaway train thriller that will go down as the action maestro's last directorial effort. It's a fitting swan song. Denzel Washington's veteran engineer and newcomer Chris Pine are in a separate locomotive racing to stop an unmanned freight train containing toxic chemicals from decimating a town. Awards and critical respect may have eluded Scott his whole career, but he was universally praised and beloved within the film industry and possessed a true understanding of the raw and visceral power of the medium. You can only do this stuff in the movies and Scott did it better than most. Now honestly, on a lazy Sunday afternoon would you rather watch "The King's Speech" or one of the movies on this list?

Franchise Review- Lethal Weapon

     It's the 25th anniversary of the gold standard of buddy cop movies- such a huge staple in Hollywood in the 1980s and '90s. Like "Die Hard", that OTHER seminal action franchise from the same era, the influence and impact of "Lethal Weapon" is obvious as countless imitators tried to replicate that winning formula over the next decade or so. There's the "Rush Hour" series, "Bad Boys I and II", "The Last Boy Scout", "Tango & Cash", and "Red Heat", just to name a few. None of these films exist without Sergeants Riggs and Murtaugh. Neither would "Braveheart' and "The Passion of the Christ" for that matter. That's some legacy. A feature length spoof is undeniable evidence that you've made a mark on pop culture as we saw in 1993's "National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1" and more recently in 2007's "Hot Fuzz". So, let's reminisce about the days when you never heard a bad word about Mel Gibson.

"Lethal Weapon"(1987)
Mel Gibson was 31 years old and already well known to audiences thanks to the "Mad Max" trilogy and a handful of well-reviewed dramas, but his future as a leading man was hardly certain because he still needed a major hit to justify all the hype he was getting in the mid-'80s(Max was always more of a cult figure and "Beyond Thunderdome" underperformed in '85). The Aussie hunk didn't need to look any further than Shane Black's script about an odd couple pair of LAPD detectives. Mel's trademark wild-eyed intensity was on full display as reckless, suicidal cop Martin Riggs who lives on the ragged edge. He absolutely nailed this role with a combination of edginess and humor that's rarely seen and it should have landed him an Oscar nomination. Director Richard Donner("Superman", "The Goonies") made sure that we cared just as much about his partner, the older, cautious Roger Murtaugh, memorably portrayed by sturdy stage vet Danny Glover, who very much wants to get home to his loving family every day in one piece. When you leave your desk to run around the city trying to shut down a big-time heroin smuggling ring led by a psycho ex-mercenary played by Gary Busey, that's never a sure thing.

   The tone of the series lightened considerably in later installments, but "LW1" remains a dark, gripping thriller and simply the finest example of the genre. No, it wasn't the first buddy cop movie. Just the best.

"Lethal Weapon 2"(1989)
The old rule was that sequels have to be bigger, badder and better. Don't even bother with an encore if you can't top what we saw last time. Donner and company were up for the challenge and delivered the goods which included a toilet rigged with explosives for anyone that still wasn't convinced. Slick, fast paced and ultra-violent, this is what action cinema was all about before everything got watered down.

   When some vile South African businessmen arrive in town and start abusing their diplomatic immunity, there's only two guys that can stop them. Joe Pesci provides some laughs and assistance as hyperactive federal witness Leo Getz, while Riggs finds time for romance with lovely blonde babe Patsy Kensit. It doesn't last long, though. She gets killed and Riggs goes ballistic in the rip-roaring climax that originally had him dying from those multiple gunshot wounds at the bottom of that ship. Warner Bros executives forced a rewrite(and Black's departure from the proceedings) and their commercial instincts were correct. "LW2" more than doubled the box office take of the first film(a rarity in those days) and a franchise was officially born.

"Lethal Weapon 3"(1992)
More chaos and mayhem as Riggs and a soon-to-be-retired Murtaugh must stop a lunatic ex-cop(Stuart Wilson) and his L.A gunrunning operation. While not on the same level as the first two, the Gibson-Glover chemistry is still firmly intact and there are plenty of good moments. A tense opening has the boys trying(and failing) to diffuse a bomb in an underground parking garage, Riggs compares scars with his new love interest, tough-as-nails policewoman Lorna Cole(Rene Russo in her breakout role) and the final shootout in a burning housing development may be the best in the series. Joe Pesci turns up for no other reason than the fact that he was very popular at this time. After "Goodfellas", "Home Alone" and "My Cousin Vinny", there surely would've been complaints if Leo hadn't resurfaced and these movies were all about giving the people what they want.

   "LW3" only made a hair less than "2" and was the second biggest blockbuster in the summer of '92 (behind "Batman Returns" respectively). Moviegoers clearly hadn't had enough yet and Mel came away with the power to make any movie he wanted but he couldn't resist another lucrative go around with his "Lethal" family.

"Lethal Weapon 4"(1998)
One of the great things about these films is the strong feeling of continuity. The whole extended cast of characters is present and accounted for and that's impressive for a series that went this long. Was the franchise showing signs of age? Yeah, but our affection for Riggs and Murtaugh goes a long way. These guys are like old friends to the audience by this point and I didn't mind spending another two hours with them. Chris Rock stalls the action occasionally to do some of his shtick as a motor mouthed detective with a secret that Roger won't like, but Donner delivers the thrills with another explosive opening and a wild freeway chase. Jet Li steals the show as the lead villain, a truly lethal martial arts enforcer for the Triad which leads to one of my favorite scenes in all four films- Riggs and Murtaugh trying to decide if they should take one last deadly chance and fight him. They do, of course, in a bloody, brutal, rain-soaked battle that eclipses Riggs' scrape with Busey in the original.

   Donner brings the story full circle and provides some nice closure that should satisfy longtime fans. "LW" may not have the awards or the same reverence as some other cinematic sagas, but for pure entertainment, the number one reason we watch movies, this duo is hard to beat. Accept no substitutes.

Legends- Sylvester Stallone

   "The Expendables 2" is set to open August 17 but it's success will mean little to it's grieving star-creator in the wake of his son Sage's tragic and untimely death just last month. Whether or not this spells the end of his career remains to be seen but if so, what a career it's been. There have been many ups and downs and you can say what you want about his acting ability(or lack thereof) because Sylvester Stallone is about so much more than that. Did you know that he had a hand in writing almost all of his films and directed several of them? Most actors are lucky to have one role that sticks in the public consciousness. Stallone has two. A presence onscreen for nearly four decades, he stands for physical fitness and perseverance in the face of enormous odds and his well-known rags-to-riches story has inspired generations of people in all walks of life to work harder and do better. Let's recap the legacy of a true American hero.


     Born in Hell's Kitchen, NY in 1946, Sly moved around a lot and grew up enthralled by comic book superheroes and "Hercules" star Steve Reeves. At an early age, he had an idea of who and what he wanted to be but a droopy face, slurred speech, and a name that doesn't exactly roll of the tongue made acting a difficult career path. In the early '70s, work was scarce and he took several odd jobs just to get by. If you blinked, you missed the bit parts he did land like a mugger in Woody Allen's "Bananas". Out of sheer desperation, he did a soft porn movie called "A Party at Kitty and Stud's"(later renamed "The Italian Stallion" after his luck changed). His first significant role was that of a Brooklyn thug in 1974's "The Lords of Flatbush", a movie that was supposed to be the big screen launch of "Happy Days" star Henry Winkler but instead gave Sly a much needed break. Nearly broke and with no further prospects in sight, he soon took matters into his own hands. Legend has it that he hammered out a screenplay about an underdog boxer in three days after taking in the 1975 Heavyweight title fight between Muhammad Ali and Chuck Wepner. He took his idea to the studio and they loved it but they didn't love him. They wanted an established star like Burt Reynolds, Robert Redford, or Ryan O'Neal to star and offered him $360,000 for the script which was $359,000 more than he had at the time. Knowing that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, he refused to sell the screenplay unless he was allowed to star. Miraculously, the studio relented and agreed to finance the film on a shoestring budget with him as the lead and the rest is history. One of the ultimate feel good movies, "Rocky" was a phenomenon, taking in an incredible $117 million and winning the Academy Awards for Best Picture, Director(John G Alvidsen), while Sly was nominated for Best Screenplay.


        Following up one of the most iconic and successful films of the decade was never going to be easy and his next two films, "F.I.S.T" and "Paradise Alley" barely registered. But he wrote, directed, and starred in 1979's "Rocky II" and audiences again turned out in droves. This would be a recurring theme. Next up was the WWII set soccer drama "Victory" and the underrated 1981 cop thriller "Nighthawks". He hired professional bodybuilder Franco Columbo to be his personal trainer and his physique would soon match his growing stature. 1982's "Rocky III" made more money than both of it's predecessors and that same year he introduced the world to another unlikely hero. Sly was worried at first about how the public would respond to sullen Vietnam vet John Rambo because he was the polar opposite of the beloved character that made him a household name. But "First Blood" was a lean, mean thriller that took it's star by surprise when the one-man army became an instant sensation, and the film has since found eternal life on cable. A few missteps like directing the 1983 sequel "Staying Alive" and an ill-advised team-up with Dolly Parton in 1984's "Rhinestone" couldn't derail his momentum. Stallone reached the absolute peak of his popularity and drawing power in 1985. He single-handedly re-fought the Vietnam War in "Rambo: First Blood Part II" and collided with a Russian goliath in "Rocky IV". The results were the second and third highest grossing films of the year(number one was "Back to the Future").


     He went from struggling unknown to movie god in less than 10 years and became the living, breathing embodiment of the Reagan era. He was no longer an actor, he was a brand name. He knew what his fans wanted and he gave it to them but I wish he had mixed some more substantial work in with all the mindless fun. You always knew exactly what you were getting when you sat down to watch one of his films. Nothing more, nothing less. Well, sometimes less. 1986's "Cobra" was an attempt to start up another macho franchise but even his most ardent supporters found little joy in the bad ass cop who rarely took his sunglasses off. Few would even entertain the idea of making a movie about professional arm wrestling. Sly actually did it in 1987's "Over the Top". He got into the best shape of his life and tore through Soviet-occupied Afghanistan, but "Rambo III" fell short of box office expectations in the summer of '88. It could be because the Cold War was ending. It could also be because Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis were now muscling in on his territory with the former openly challenging him for action star supremacy. After 1989's "Lock Up" and "Tango and Cash" did underwhelming business, he returned once again to his durable alter ego but "Rocky V" was the least popular chapter of the long running series. The following year, his Austrian rival took the title of world's biggest action star.


     As the 1990s got underway, it was clearly time for a change but a disastrous attempt at comedy did nothing to reverse his fortunes. After taking a beating from critics for the flops "Oscar" and "Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot", he dove headfirst back into the genre that he was most comfortable in. He got back on track in 1993 with two solid hits, "Cliffhanger" and "Demolition Man". But the public was much less enthusiastic about the string of sub par assembly line action vehicles he served up in the mid '90s. "The Specialist", "Judge Dredd", "Assassins", and "Daylight" officially put him in a slump. Realizing that moviegoers had finally tired of his alpha male antics, he responded by packing on forty pounds to play a timid, hearing impaired sheriff battling police corruption in the 1997 drama "Copland". He held his own with the likes of Robert De Niro, Ray Liotta, and Harvey Keitel and earned praise from critics but it was too late to change people's perceptions and more good roles did not follow. As the decade drew to a close, it looked like the career of the former box office champ was down for the count.


     With the exception of sporadic appearances like 2000's "Get Carter" and a villainous cameo in 2003's "Spy Kids 3D", the new millenium offered little hope of a comeback for the aging icon. Believing that the time was right and that he had nothing left to lose, he ignored all the naysayers and boldly announced plans to resurrect his two legendary characters in new installments that he would also direct. 2006's "Rocky Balboa" was better than it had any right to be and got a warm reception from critics and audiences. 2008's "Rambo" had his bandanna-wearing killing machine bringing some old school carnage to Burma and his appreciative fans were there to cheer him on. Encouraged by the success of these revivals and fully embracing his role as the leader of modern testosterone-fueled cinema, Sly rounded up every tough guy actor he could find(including Arnie) for 2010's "The Expendables". The film did over $100 million that summer, his highest domestic gross since "Rambo II". It doesn't even matter if you're a fan of these films. Stallone is a genuinely inspiring guy and is almost impossible to dislike. Is "The Expendables 2" his last hurrah? I wouldn't bet on it.

Greatest Villains 51-100

   The greatest villains list was a lot of fun to do and it was my most read post by far, so I decided to expand it a bit. Here's 50 dishonorable mentions.

100. Terry Silver- "The Karate Kid Part III"(1989)
The real founder of the Kobra Kai dojo laughs maniacally while plotting the destruction of a teenager and his best friend, an elderly Japanese handyman.

99. Marcellus Wallace- "Pulp Fiction"(1994)
We never actually see him do anything bad, but I gather PF's crime boss wasn't a very nice guy at all pre- anal rape and the stories about guys that get too friendly with his wife are legendary.

98. Wah Sing Ku- "Lethal Weapon 4"(1998)
Jet Li's martial arts expert Triad boss came really close to finishing off an aging Riggs and Murtaugh underneath that dock.

97. Peyton Flanders- "The Hand That Rocks The Cradle"(1992)
Rebecca DeMornay is definitely the worst nanny of all time.

96. The Stay Puft Marshmellow Man- "Ghostbusters"(1984)
Despite his pleasant demeanor, this 50 foot giant is the physical manifestation of Gozer the Gazarian.

95. Carter Hayes- "Pacific Heights"(1990)
Michael Keaton's sociopathic con artist makes life miserable for Melanie Griffith and Mathew Modine. On second thought, he's fine by me.

94. Doc Ock- "Spiderman 2"(2004)
Although he went soft at the end, Alfred Molina caused some nifty destruction with those steel tentacles.

93. Marquise de Merteuil- "Dangerous Liasons"(1988)
Glenn Close's bored aristocrat gets pleasure out of screwing with people's lives.

92. Officer Pete Davis- "Unlawful Entry"(1992)
Most bad cops just write undeserved traffic tickets. Ray Liotta will try to take your wife and frame you for drug dealing.

91. Buffalo Bill- "Silence of The Lambs"(1991)
Poor Jamie Gumb. He kidnaps women and puts them in a well yet he still only gets runner-up in his own movie.

90. Patrick Bateman- "American Psycho"(2000)
This deranged yuppie introduced most of us to Christian Bale.

89. Scar- "The Lion King"(1994)
He used sinister hyenas to help him kill his brother and exile his nephew to take over the Prideland and he's voiced by Jeremy Irons.

88. Al Capone- "The Untouchables"(1987)
Robert De Niro lent Brian De Palma some of his old brilliance as Chicago's most notorious gangster.

87. Sergeant Hartman- "Full Metal Jacket"(1987)
This cruel drill instructor enjoys the Marines' dehumanization process a little too much.

86. Mr. Rooney- "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"(1986)
Jeffrey Jones' prickly principal will literally stop at nothing to keep our high school hero(Mathew Broderick) from having a good time.

85. Longshanks- "Braveheart"(1995)
Even near death, he was incapable of mercy.

84. Clubber Lang- "Rocky III"(1983)
A snarling Mr. T called out Balboa and became an '80s icon.

83. Kane- "Poltergeist II and III"(1986, 1988)
When this creepy and decrepit bastard comes looking for your daughter, there's gonna be trouble.

82. Ghostface- "Scream" series(1996, 1997, 2000, 2011)
Several bloodthirsty teens donned the mask, went on a killing spree, and revived the slasher genre.

81. Magneto- "X-Men" trilogy(2000, 2003, 2006)
Ian McKellan's leader of the Brotherhood of Mutants plans to mutate world leaders to bring about their acceptance in mankind.

80. Mola Ram- "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom"(1984)
Child slavery, black magic, human sacrifice- all in a day's work for the leader of the Thuggee cult.

79. Ivan Korshunov- "Air Force One"(1997)
Before he was a reborn as a good guy in the "Batman" and "Harry Potter" franchises, Gary Oldman was one of Hollywood's premier psychopaths.

78. Keyzer Soze- "The Usual Suspects"(1995)
Who is he? I still don't have a clue.

77. Auric Goldfinger- "Goldfinger"(1965)
He doesn't expect you to talk, Mr. Bond, he expects you to die.

76. Sid- "Toy Story"(1995)
This sick kid tortures toys for fun.

75. Lestat- "Interview with the Vampire"(1994)
Author Anne Rice was opposed to the casting of Tom Cruise as the seductive bloodsucker until she saw the movie.

74. Col Nathan Jessup- "A Few Good Men"(1992)
He did order the code red and we still can't handle the truth.

73. Clarence Boddiker- "Robocop"(1987)
Old Detroit's worst criminal leads a band of vile thugs in Paul Verhoeven's sci-fi action classic.

72. Lex Luthor- "Superman" series(1978, 1981, 1987, 2006)
He may never be a match for the Man of Steel, but the evil egomaniac never stops trying.

71. Lord Voldemort- "Harry Potter" series(2001-2011)
The Dark Lord antagonizes the boy wizard in all seven of his films.

70. "The Professional"(1994)
Gary Oldman could fill half this list with his '90s rogues gallery. Here he menaces a fourteen year old Natalie Portman as a corrupt DEA agent.

69. The Penguin- "Batman Returns"(1992)
Danny DeVito's ghastly grotesque horrified parents and Happy Meal peddlers in the summer of '92.

68. Gollum- "Lord of the Rings" Trilogy(2001, 2002, 2003)
This lovably loathsome creature is so easily corrupted by the ring that he strangles his cousin within two minutes of finding it.

67. Potter- "It's a Wonderful Life"(1941)
This crotchety businessman has an obvious disdain for the people of Bedford Falls.

66. Roy Batty- "Blade Runner"(1982)
The violent yet thoughtful android is Rutger Hauer's finest hour.

65. Dr. Evil- "Austin Powers" series(1997, 1999, 2002)
Mike Meyers' supervillain send-up arguably became more popular than his title character.

64. Khan- "Star Trek II- The Wrath of Khan"(1982)
Captain Kirk's old nemesis reappears after years of exile with an unusually large chest and the powerful Genesis device.

63. Szell- "Marathon Man"(1976)
Lawrence Olivier's former Nazi performs unwanted dental work on Dustin Hoffman.

62. Barnes- "Platoon"(1986)
Tom Berenger's sadistic sergeant is definitely a villain and he has the ugly facial scars to prove it.

61. Bill the Butcher- "Gangs of New York"(2002)
Daniel Day Lewis' charismatic killer walked off with Scorcese's 19th Century epic.

60. Pinhead- "Hellraiser" series(1987, 1988, 1992, 1996)
The demonic Cenobite jumped on the '80s horror bandwagon.

59. Jigsaw- "Saw" series(2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010)
This mysterious madman tests his victims' will to survive with symbolic death traps and all sorts of psychological and physical torture.

58. Hal- "2001- "A Space Odyssey"(1968)
Only Stanley Kubrick could make a computer scary.

57. Leatherface- "Texas Chainsaw Massacre"(1974)
Another slasher icon, he wears a mask made of human skin and engages in murder and cannibalism alongside his inbred family.

56. Frankenstein- "Frankenstein"(1931)
Boris Karloff's poignant monster remains an enduring icon.

55. Eve Harrington- "All About Eve"(1950)
Anne Baxter's ambitious and conniving young upstart is out to dethrone Bette Davis' aging Broadway star.

54. Noah Cross- "Chinatown"(1974)
This seemingly harmless old man tampered with LA's water supply AND impregnated his own daughter.

53. The Emperor- "Star Wars- Return of the Jedi and Revenge of the Sith"(1983, 2005)
When he's not pitting father and son against each other in a duel to the death, he just sits in his throne room basking in his evilness.

52. Bane- "The Dark Knight Rises"(2012)
Tom Hardy's hulking brute described himself best. He's Gotham's reckoning.

51. Dracula- "Dracula"(1931, 1958, 1992)
Bela Lagosi, Christopher Lee, and Gary Oldman all put their own stamp on the immortal neck-biter.