This has been a long time coming. The popularity of Adam Richard Sandler has always been a mystery to me. He plays the exact same character in nearly every film- a slacker with a short fuse, prone to angry outbursts. There's that annoying voice that he does. It's always the same tired story arc where he learns about responsibility and becomes a better person in the end. For like-minded readers, I know I'm preaching to the choir but there's still plenty of people out there that need a wake-up call. The numbers don't lie. This is a guy that should have been shown the door out of Hollywood a decade ago. Yet he continues to crank out mediocre comedies at an alarming rate. Don't buy into the Everyman persona. Sandler is shrewd, calculating and aggressive. His net worth is conservatively estimated at $300 million. His latest travesty "Jack and Jill" opens today. According to my research, dressing in drag hasn't been funny since 1993. That's the year "Mrs Doubtfire" came out. Will his assault on the public ever end?
Sandler has starred in about 20 films since leaving SNL in 1995, and was paid $20 million for about 15 of them. In fairness, he isn't the only one who profits from the nation's stupidity, but he is by far the biggest and most successful entertainer to do so. Remember all the subtle, realistic comedies from the '80s that were ACTUALLY good movies? It wasn't all adolescent crap. Well, that era now seems like a distant memory. I know that Steve Martin made "The Jerk" in 1979 and Jim Carrey brought stupid humor back in the early '90s. But they both matured and moved past that phase. Sandler doesn't because he has no real talent. Never did. I will concede that two of his movies were decent- "The Wedding Singer" and "Big Daddy". There are approximately three laughs in the perennial Sandler favorite "Happy Gilmore", and they are all in the first half hour(the Bob Barker scene was played out in trailers long before the movie's release). With "The Waterboy", something troubling began to happen. His movies started making A LOT of money. "Mr. Deeds" and "Anger Management" were big hits and he got paid $60 million for the latter. You read that right. What followed was an endless string of depressing films- "50 First Dates", "The Longest Yard", "Click", "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry", "You Don't Mess with the Zohan", "Grown-Ups", "Just Go With It". This isn't a resume, it's a rap sheet. Sandler keeps Rob Schneider employed in show business and he gave Kevin James a movie career. People have been jailed for lesser offenses. Careers have ended over much less.
The fact of the matter is this- unless you're mildly retarded or under the age of 14, Adam Sandler is NOT funny. Yet somehow he not only survives, he thrives. He's become more than an actor/comedian. He's a brand name. An assembly line. He's like McDonald's. A cheap inferior product sold by a smiling obnoxious jack-ass that rots you from the inside. It may seem harmless but it IS doing damage. One is largely responsible for the rising obesity rates. The other contributes annually to the dumbing down of America. Make no mistake about it- Sandler is a poison. He's proof that the Devil does exist and he does indeed make deals for souls. Sandler sold his in the mid-'90s in exchange for a long and successful film career. That's the only explanation I can come up with. It's about time we exorcise this moron from the multiplex.*Sandler has been banished to Netflix as of October 2014, a clear indication of his waning influence. He wants you to believe it's by choice. Maybe there is a God.
