The 1960s were a blast. Unfortunately, unless you're over age SIXTY, you weren't actually there. Fortunately, film is forever, and we have all these characters to enjoy right alongside the Beatles back-catalogue, "The Dick Van Dyke Show", and those early Ali fights. With the exception of #35, I purposely excluded characters based on actual historical figures(sorry, Lawrence of Arabia) and decided to limit the list to two characters per actor(sorry, Butch Cassidy). Fanny Brice was fun, but almost all of these guys and girls are fictional, it's only fair. Now I won't make you wait like those three goons at the beginning of "Once Upon a Time in the West". Here are the 60 greatest characters of the '60s.
60(tie).
Tom Jones- "Tom Jones"(1963)
Albert Finney's amorous playboy won plenty of plaudits(he's the face of 1963's Best Picture). Tom broke the fourth wall way before Ferris Bueller did, and turned 18th Century England into his own personal playground. Translation- he's extremely popular with the opposite sex.
60(tie).
Inspector Jacques Clouseau-"The Pink Panther"(1963)
Peter Sellers' expert comic timing and skill is the chief reason to check out this Blake Edwards hit. The klutzy Clouseau obscures his ensemble castmates(David Niven, Robert Wagner) on a search for a notorious jewel thief, setting himself up to take center-stage in two '70s sequels. I wouldn't open that champagne bottle in bed, if I were you.
59.
Murray Burns- "A Thousand Clowns"(1965)
And you thought you hated going to work. Murray doesn't have that problem because he simply won't do it. A relaxation expert as defiantly unemployed as Jeff Lebowski would be thirty-three years later, the supremely skilled Jason Robards may inspire you to actually know what day it is more often during your mind-numbingly routine daily existence.
58.
Blanche Barrow- "Bonnie and Clyde"(1967)
Buck's wife was barely a member of the infamous Barrow gang, yet was instrumental in their undoing. This is why you don't include your shrill wife in a cross-country crime spree. Estelle Parsons' expert shrieking made her a Best Supporting Actress winner(and Roseanne's mother, two decades later).
57.
Charly Gordon- "Charly"(1968)
Cliff Robertson's mentally challenged man-child was a hit with the hippie crowd. Dare I say, Charly was the Forrest Gump of the late '60s. Cliff's Best Actor Oscar certainly backs up that comparison. Who said you can't go full retard?
56.
Diana Scott- "Darling"(1965)
The Swinging Sixties looked like fun. I'd want an invite to any party that Julie Christie's lovely London model was in attendance for. The sassy, opportunistic Scott(aided by director John Schlesinger) helped pave the way for morally ambiguous protagonists.
55.
Bruce Wayne/Batman- "Batman"(1966)
Adam West's Bright Knight is a camp delight, and while his TV run might be an unfair advantage, I couldn't deny him a spot on the list. That Shark Repellant Bat Spray in burned into all of our brains. Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb. R.I.P.
54.
Yuri Zhivago- "Doctor Zhivago"(1965)
Omar Sharif's romantic physician is at the center of one of the great '60s epics. Director David Lean whisked adventurous viewers(and there were LOTS of them) off to Moscow and dropped them, alongside Sharif, in the middle of the Russian Revolution. Zhivago's zest, brought out by the lovely Julie Christie, makes it more than a dry history lesson.
53.
Herbie- "The Love Bug"(1968)
Some would say that cars don't count. This cute Beetle's box office begs to differ. From dealership neglect to racetrack royalty, Herbie has an arc that a lot of humas would envy. Four sequels followed, the most recent of which arrived in 2005.
52.
Doctor Dolittle- "Doctor Dolittle"(1967)
Thirty years before Eddie Murphy talked to animals, Rex Harrison sang and did the same, because it's more fun than talking to people and he has nothing in common with the human race. "Dolittle" may be the sort of splashy, expensive musical that would soon fall out of favor, but it remains ideal for family viewing.
51.
Lila Crane- "Psycho"(1960)
The real heroine of Hitchcock's magnus opus deserves more credit than she's been historically given. We should all have a sister as sensible and cool under pressure. Lila beat Bates on his home turf, no small feat.
50.
Humbert- "Lolita"(1962)
James Mason's bumbling British professor may make some folks uncomfortable now- he's hopelessly obsessed with his girlfriend's tempting teenage daughter. The worldly Lolita(Sue Lyons) is 14 going on 40, and it's hard to hate Humbert in a 1950s setting where robbing-the-cradle wasn't so black-and-white.
49.
Oliver Twist- "Oliver!"
Take a good look at this London orphan. This is how children are supposed to behave. That is, until he falls under the wing of Ron Moody's Fagin(he just missed the cut) and joins up with his pint-sized pickpockets. Oliver should be everyone's childhood friend.
48.
Scout- "To Kill a Mockingbird"(1962)
This rough-and-tumble tomboy is the real protagonist in perhaps the decade's finest drama. Whether she's running roughshod over her Alabama neighborhood with brother Jem or receiving pearls of wisdom from her pop Atticus, six-year old Scout is a charmer. She made the Great Depression a lot less depressing.
47.
Minnie Castevet-"Rosemary's Baby"(1968)
Ruth Gordon's garish neighbor is the reason you avoid little old ladies. They might really be part of a satanic cult that wants to steal your baby. Minnie's malevolance is cleverly masked by the harmless doddering that we usually associate with senior citizens. Don't be fooled again.
46.
Joe Buck- "Midnight Cowboy"(1969)
Jon Voight's horny hustler rolled into New York, and things were never the same. You see, the collapse of the Production Code opened the floodgates for all sorts of salacious characters and stories that would not have been approved in the days of FDR, Harry Truman and Dwight Eisenhower. Buck was only trying to make one, let's be glad nobody was there to stop him.
45.
Gloria Wandrous-"Butterfield 8"(1960)
Long before Julia Roberts was rescued by Richard Gere, the luscious Liz Taylor wasn't so lucky, as an upscale call girl that pays a heavy price for her chosen profession. It's been said that Liz didn't love the role that landed her that first Best Actress Oscar. That's okay, because I'll do it for her. Gloria is a big reason why Taylor is a '60s goddess.
44.
Elmer Gantry- "Elmer Gantry"(1960)
Burt Lancaster's barnstorming performance as an evangelical con-man put him at the top of the '60 Best Actor slate. Don't put any more crumpled dollars in that church basket. Better yet, find something else to do on Sundays at noon. "Gantry" gutted religious zealotry before your grandparents were dragging your parents before some pitiful priest.
43.
Alexis Zorba-"Zorba the Greek"(1964)
Anthony Quinn's gregarious musician/peasant is among the Mexican star's most memorable characterizations. Why can't we all journey through this life with Zorba's exuberance? I know, easier said than done. Dance on the beach and approach that lady you've been longing for. You only live once.
42.
Chief Gillespie-"In the Heat of the Night"(1967)
Rod Steiger's Mississippi police chief was the pinnacle of his forty-plus year run on movie screens. Gillespie confronts his prosaic prejudices during a backwoods murder investigation that leaves everyone more enlightened as a result. Steiger's work here won him the Best Actor Oscar.
41.
Anita-"West Side Story"(1961)
I couldn't take my eyes off of this sassy scene-stealer in 1961's Best Picture. Rita Moreno was a revelation. I have a feeling she would have something to say about Trump's immigration policy. Spielberg, why bother with a remake?
40.
Toni Simmons-"Cactus Flower"(1969)
It's safe to say we were in love with Goldie from the start(Kurt, you're a lucky man). Hawn's first movie resulted in an Academy Award and a thirty-year film career. Think about that for a moment. Bubbly blonde beauty doesn't grow on trees, and Goldie's got it shooting out of every one of her pores.
39.
Billy- "Easy Rider"(1969)
Dennis Hopper was a dirt-bag. I mean that in the nicest possible way. He stopped bathing and hit the wide open countryside with Peter Fonda in this era-defining counterculture classic. Think twice about buying that motorcycle. And don't do drugs.
38.
Marion Crane- "Psycho"(1960)
Vivian Leigh's scheming secretary hooks viewers immediately in the greatest film of the 1960s, in my not-so-humble opinion. Marion makes off with $40,000, which is supposed to buy her a better life with her boyfriend. Her new pal Norman has other ideas, though. I could watch her shower for hours.
37.
Baloo- "The Jungle Book"(1967)
You only need the bare necessities. Sidekicks are an integral part of animation, and this fun-loving bear is right up there with Donkey and Buzz Lightyear. Mowgli couldn't have asked for a better jungle guide, maybe he should have stayed out of the Man-Village.
36.
Cornelius- "Planet of the Apes"(1968)
Roddy McDowell logged more appearances than any other actor in the "Apes" franchise(even though his face was hidden by an Oscar-winning make-up job, the first of it's kind). Cornelius is an archeologist/historian that carefully considers the evidence that human beings might not be inferior after all.
35.
Spartacus- "Spartacus"(1960)
A barrel-chested Kirk Douglas gave us the decade's first great hero, forty years before Russell Crowe's Maximus ushered manliness into the new millennium. His Thracian gladiator led a slave uprising against the Roman Republic(staged by Stanley Kubrick, no less) and it's sure be mentioned early and often in his obituaries.
34.
Tuco- "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly"(1966)
Eli Wallach should have won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his wily Mexican bandit(he wasn't even nominated!). 'The Ugly' managed to force Clint Eastwood to march across the desert until he passed out from dehydration- not bad for a comical third wheel. Tuco didn't get the gold in that cemetery, but he did worm his way into the hearts of plenty of '60s film fans.
33.
Mrs. Robinson- "The Graduate"(1967)
Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson. Why couldn't I have met a hot, horny housewife to take my mind off the fact that I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life? I would have kept those hotel hookups going longer than Ben Braddock did(he's coming).
32.
George Taylor- "Planet of the Apes"(1968)
A cigar-chomping Charlton Heston had plenty to smile about. That is, until his hibernating spaceship crash lands on an unknown planet ruled by armed gorillas and intellectual chimpanzees. Turns out(spoiler alert!) that he's on Earth where the few, remaining humans are treated like animals in the wake of nuclear war. Those damn, dirty apes.
31.
Harmonica- "Once Upon a Time in the West"(1968)
Clint wasn't the only stoic cowboy in the Wild West. Charles Bronson's enigmatic drifter wasn't far behind in Sergio Leone's OTHER Western epic. What made Bronson such a believable bad-ass? Well, it was probably the fact that he ACTUALLY WAS ONE. No acting required. Harmonica's brother was killed a long time ago. Revenge was never sweeter.
30.
C.C. Baxter- "The Apartment"(1960)
Jack Lemmon's lovable office drone may be the most normal and relatable character on the list. I think we've all pined after a cute coworker that's tragically preoccupied with someone higher up the food chain. Baxter's sick NYC apartment levels the playing field. If you have yet to spend a night there, shame on you.
29.
Rosemary Woodhouse- "Rosemary's Baby"(1968)
Mia Farrow lost her baby to Woody Allen...I mean, the devil, in Roman Polanski's resounding horror hit. Rosemary's plight gets right at the fear in the heart of every new mother. That's why this film will still be watched in 2068, while hundreds of newer scary movies have already been erased from your memory bank. Now go check on that crib, I'll wait.
28.
Frank- "Once Upon a Time in the West"(1968)
You can't call yourself a movie buff, until you've seen Henry Fonda shoot a kid in cold blood(a far cry from the quiet heroism of Juror #8). I wasn't around in Dec 1968, but I understand that was completely unexpected. Fonda wasn't fooling around when he decided to join the dark side as this casually cruel gang leader. That icy stare alone would keep me out of Flagstone.
27.
Lt. Frank Bullitt- "Bullitt"(1968)
Steve McQueen, aka The King of Cool, is a big part of the reason that cowboys were replaced by morally complex cops as we entered a New Hollywood(aka the 1970s). The mob-busting Bullitt makes like one, in his Ford Mustang GT on the streets of San Francisco(no stunt driver necessary). You can have the "Fast and the Furious" franchise.
26.
Rooster Cogburn- "True Grit"(1969)
John Wayne's Oscar win for this crusty one-eyed lawman has to rank among the AA's most satisfying moments(the greatest movie star of all time should have at least one). But the Duke never needed such recognition, as he's had the devotion of every male moviegoer starting with "Stagecoach". The cantankerous Cogburn got a sequel, 1975's "Rooster Cogburn", and a fresh coat from the Coen brothers and Jeff Bridges in 2010.
24, 25.
Oscar Madison and Felix Unger- "The Odd Couple"(1968)
Because you can't have one without the other. Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau made comedic history inside their shared Manhattan apartment, in their second of EIGHT collaborations(ten, if "Kotch" and "JKF" count). Neil Simon knew that a slob and a neat-freak was enough to keep us glued to our seats, a blueprint that comedy actors, writers and directors have been working from ever since.
23.
The Sundance Kid- "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid"(1969)
Robert Redford's supercool sidekick is the yardstick against which all others are measured, not that the Sundance Kid ever really played second fiddle. There isn't a man you'd rather have at your side if your ever being chased across Wyoming or barricaded inside a Bolivian hut. Harry Alonzo Longabaugh(real name) may not be able to swim, but he participated in the longest string of bank/train robberies in U.S. history. Sounds like a counterculture hero.
22.
Cruella De Vil- "101 Dalmatians"(1961)
"Cruella De Vil, Cruella De Vil..." How many villains have their own theme song? De Vil smokes heavily, and wants to make a fur coat out of the cuddly Dalmatians- an evil plan if there ever was one. Cruella just couldn't be contained to the cartoon world, so Glenn Close brought her to live-action life in 1996 and 2000. Fifty-plus years after her first appearance, this diabolical dog hater might still be the ultimate Disney villain.
21.
HAL- "2001: A Space Odyssey"(1968)
Leave it to Stanley Kubrick to predict that we'd all become slaves to technology. This eerie supercomputer doesn't appear until about an hour into his sci-fi masterpiece, but his calm voice still provides half the dialogue. HAL has more personality than the docile doctors onboard the Jupiter-bound Discovery One. Maybe machines ARE a poor substitute for social interaction. Daisy, Daisy...
20.
Martha- "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"(1966)
Liz Taylor gained thirty pounds, long before it was trendy for hot actresses to do so, and won her second Best Actress Oscar as the fiery wife of a put-upon professor in Mike Nichols' acting masterclass. Martha has quite the nasty disposition for someone so firmly entrenched in the cushy college life, and is noticeably disappointed in Richard Burton's lack of ambition. Good luck telling this alcoholic hellcat that it's way past her bedtime.
19.
Maria- "West Side Story"(1961)
Natalie Wood. If only she hadn't married Robert Wagner. The decade's first great musical leaves me wondering what might have been for the brunette beauty that reached the height of her considerable fame, during the New York tug of war between the Sharks and the Jets. Marni Nixon did her singing, but we'll still be singing about Wood's Maria for another half-a-century.
18.
General Buck Turgidson- "Dr. Stranglelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"(1964)
George C. Scott's gut-busting turn as an inept Chief-of-Staff leaves one wondering why he didn't appear in a hundred comedies. Turgidson hilariously tells the President of a plan that involves modest and acceptable human casualties- 10-20 million killed, tops. Stanley Kubrick's War Room is funny and frightening in equal measure, and this increasingly exasperated general guaranteed it's survival long after the Cold War.
17.
Ratso Rizzo- "Midnight Cowboy"(1969)
Dustin Hoffman dirties up his image and buries Ben Braddock(he's quite a diverse actor!) in 1969's Best Picture winner. We weren't used to such an intimate view of degenerate lowlifes, until Ratso gave us a tour of NYC in his own putrid point-of-view. He may not have survived that bus ride to Florida, but compassionate viewers put their collective arm around Rizzo. He's still walkin' here.
16.
Dr. Strangelove- "Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"(1964)
The sensational Peter Sellers famously played three roles in the decade's most cherished comedy, but we'll focus on his titular title character, this wheelchair-bound nuclear war expert and former Nazi. A ratio of ten females to each male at the bottom of a deep underground mine shaft? That's an astonishingly good idea. Strangelove(what kind of name is that anyway?) strings more laughs than should have been possible out of an impending doomsday.
15.
Holly Golighty- "Breakfast at Tiffany's"(1961)
When most people think of Audrey Hepburn, big sunglasses and a little black dress are usually the first things that come to mind. Audrey is such an exquisite sight at age 31, that I'm willing to overlook Mickey Rooney's Mr. Yunioshi. Golighty is a good girl gone bad, and bridges the gap between the wholesomeness of the '50s and the murkier terrain that would be trekked upon by the next generation. Casual prostitution, drugs, gold-digging. Nobody ever said she was a role model. No matter- Holly will adorn bedroom walls and throwback merch till the end of time.
14.
Maria von Trapp- "The Sound of Music"(1965)
Julie Andrews had two gigantic roles during the LBJ era, and we'll get to the other one shortly. Robert Wise's musical was the highest grossing film of the '60s by a wide margin, and it's difficult to imagine anyone else singing about living hills or taking care of Christopher Plummer's seven kids. Maria and the von Trapp family really did escape from the Third Reich in '38, just in case you thought "Music" was all sunshine and rainbows.
13.
Barberella- "Barberella"(1968)
A 30 year old Jane Fonda showed us what the next decade was going to look like, as far as otherworldly female film star hotness was concerned. 'The most iconic sex goddess of the '60s'(a New York Times quote) set Henry's daughter up for lifelong fame, not that she had any desire to fight the forces of evil in the 41st Century for the rest of her career(she had Academy Awards to win). Barb is just begging for a reboot.
12.
Eliza Doolittle- "My Fair Lady"(1964)
Audrey Hepburn is the second most lionized lady in the 100 year annals of film(behind MM), and this Cockney girl is her greatest role. Rex Harrison was lucky to have this woman in his life. Doolittle is delightful, and Audrey's inherent goodness and widespread appeal helped gloss over the fact that Julie Andrews originated her onstage. Yes, Marni Nixon's voice strikes again, but I've grown accustomed to her face, and would wait on the street where she lives, just like that lovestruck upper-class gent. Remember, the rain in Spain falls mainly in the plain. How 'Loverly' would it be if the whole family gathered in front of this one once a year?
11.
Virgil Tibbs- "In the Heat of the Night"(1967)
Sidney Poitier's polished policeman was the perfect hero for Norman Jewison's prophetic detective drama. They call him Mister Tibbs, and the role was the high point of a barrier-breaking career that saw Sidney scale heights that were unthinkable just ten years earlier. Virgil slapped sense into more than one backwards bigot during a Mississippi murder investigation. Tibbs got two sequels in the early '70s, that's what I call progress.
10.
'Fast' Eddie Felson- "The Hustler"(1961)
Paul Newman was poised to succeed Marlon Brando as the newest stud who could act, the year JFK moved into the White House. High-stakes pool-playing may be a Hollywood myth, but we have it to thank for providing the platform that allowed Paul's A-list ascent- a position he would hold until his death in 2008. If you need proof of Newman's(and Felson's) longevity, there's an '86 Best Actor Oscar out there somewhere for the Scorsese-directed sequel "The Color of Money". When it's 'Fast' Eddie vs. Minnesota Fats, we all come out winners.
8, 9.
Clyde Barrow and Bonnie Parker- "Bonnie and Clyde"(1967)
This is Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway, and they rob banks in Arthur Penn's game-changing crime flick. It turned out that sex and violence and breaking the law is cool, and only Beatty fully realized this(he was the driving force behind the project). The movie versions of B&C are better looking than the real-life pair and more likable, and are the reason you've fantasized about stealing everything in sight with your sinful significant other. Clyde is impotent- a brave creative choice for the famously able-bodied Beatty. Bonnie embraces armed robbery with a vivacious vigor. I think I'm going to go watch it right now.
7.
Benjamin Braddock- "The Graduate"(1967)
It's been said that Dustin Hoffman paved the way for a new kind of leading man in Mike Nichols' massive comedy, still one of the best the biz has ever produced. Braddock is every 22 year old that doesn't know what the hell to do next, which is just about every 22 year old. To say that this movie struck a chord with confused counterculture kids would be an understatement. A job is out of the question, and his parents have no credibility, so Mrs. Robinson and her more-age-appropriate daughter take up much of his time and mental energy. Hoffman and his bundle of nerves are brilliant, and his later ventures("Midnight Cowboy", "All the President's Man", "Kramer vs. Kramer", "Tootsie", "Rain Man") proved that Ben turned out alright.
6.
Lucas Jackson- "Cool Hand Luke"(1967)
Working on a chain gang never looked as fun as it did when Newman did it in this sweaty time capsule. Paul was the best actor of the 1960s according to my research, and his irresistible non-conformist has since been recognized as the centerpiece of that considerable peak. Fifty hardboiled eggs, an impromptu boxing match and numerous escape attempts are just a few of the reasons this unflappable convict clicked with so many defiant youths. I miss his smile, too.
5.
Mary Poppins- "Mary Poppins"(1964)
Supercalafragilisticexpealadocious. A nonsensical phrase, known the world over, that has since been added to the Oxford dictionary. This magical English nanny is the #1 female in a decade filled with great ones. Poppins is just a part of growing up, if you're of a certain age, and Julie Andrews was justly rewarded with the Best Actress Oscar for this heaven-sent role(Walt Disney himself was the overseer of it all). You don't need a spoonful of sugar when the medicine tastes this good. Andrews lights up the screen in every frame with her warmth and grace(Dick Van Dyke was a worthy dance partner). Emily Blunt has big shoes to fill.
4.
Atticus Finch- "To Kill a Mockingbird"(1962)
The American Film Institute's #1 hero(circa 2003) is among the noblest men ever to grace the screen. A model father that finds the time to defend a black man accused of rape in the deep South, Finch was infused with the kindness, integrity and respect of an Oscar-winning Gregory Peck. It's since been suggested that he wasn't really acting. Atticus is the giver of the greatest courtroom speech ever recorded, and his booming voice should be a part of every preteen's film education. Remember, you never really understand someone till you've walked around in their skin. And don't shoot mockingbirds.
3.
The Man with No Name- "A Fistful of Dollars"(1964), "For a Few Dollars More"(1965), "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly"(1966)
Clint Eastwood is the biggest living legend in film. There, I said it. You shouldn't have to be told that it all started with this nameless gunslinger in Sergio Leone's spaghetti Western trilogy. This is what unbridled masculinity looks like. We don't have too much of that anymore. Previously a squeaky clean TV actor, Clint traveled to Italy and Spain with a cigar, a stubble and a sarape and came back a Movie Star. We don't have too much of that anymore either. Of course, his Colt Army revolver played a big part in seemingly endless conflicts with Mexican miscreants and Lee Van Cleef. "TGTBATU" is the best of the bunch, and if you've never heard Ennio Morricone maximizing it's climactic showdown, you might want to give your Marvel heroes a rest. Dirty Harry and multiple directing triumphs would await the decades that followed, but to many, "Dollars" still defines cinema's sole Republican.
2.
Norman Bates- "Psycho"(1960)
Look at that stare. It's hard to believe there was ever a time when cinematic psychos weren't everywhere. Who wants to watch a movie about a murderous momma's boy with little or no social skills? The answer, of course, was everybody. Alfred Hitchcock knew it, and nothing's been the same since. Norman's lanky, non-threatening appearance is masking some serious pathology. Anthony Perkins never escaped the long shadow of his career-making role, but if you can only be known for ONE thing, then Bates makes for a bitchin' obituary. His longevity is such that three sequels got made(without Hitch) in the '80s, and I've heard good things about his A&E backstory. The Bates Motel will always be open for business.
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| Smoking was cool. |
1.
James Bond- "Dr. No"(1962), "From Russia with Love"(1963), "Goldfinger"(1964), "Thunderball"(1965), "You Only Live Twice"(1967), "On Her Majesty's Secret Service"(1969)
This was a no-brainer. The name's Bond. James Bond, the most storied hero in cinema history. Sean Connery was a bodybuilder and a bit player in the '50s, when he was chosen to don a tux in countless exotic locales as the embodiment of Ian Fleming's suave superspy. It turned out that audiences liked the idea of repeat visits from an adventurous alpha male, and the longest-running film series of all time was off and running. Women love him, men want to be him. That's roughly the definition of a male movie star, and Connery's Bond was the blueprint that nearly all of his successors were beholden to. "Russia" and "Goldfinger" solidified the public's devotion to 007, and still rank high on any list of Bond's twenty-five(to date) outings. The character got a facelift when Sean got bored with beauties and bad guys as the '60s drew to a close. George Lazenby may be little more than a trivia question, but '69's "Secret Service" is better than the two that Connery came back for. Pussy galore, shaken martinis, Walther PPKs, Aston Martins. Here's to twenty-five more, James.
Jane Fonda celebrates her 80th birthday today(I apologize for reminding you of your own decrepitude), and I can safely say that no woman has ever done it looking better. Vietnam vets and conservative crybabies won't like it, but this seems like the perfect time to talk about the life and times of this ageless beauty. You may not be old enough to know that her first thirty years in the movies(1960-1990) earned her a place among the pantheon of great screen actresses. Fonda's 1970s peak saw her collect two Best Actress Oscars, silencing outspoken critics of her political activism and proving she was much more than just a sex symbol. As if that wasn't enough, she helped kick-start the physical fitness craze of the 1980s, assisting a generation of women that wanted to look just like her. That's right, Jane Fonda is the reason there are so many hot girls at the gym. You didn't know that, and they probably don't either. This woman is a true trailblazer, and set out to prove, after a lengthy hiatus, that senior citizens can be as active and vital as ever before in her ongoing comeback. I understand that Henry Fonda's daughter remains a somewhat polarizing figure. We'll get into that, and so much more. I promise, it won't be boring. 
Jane was born in NYC in 1937, and her famous father starred in "The Grapes of Wrath", "12 Angry Men" and "Once Upon a Time in the West". Needless to say, she had a lot to live up to when she decided to enter the family business with her brother Peter("Easy Rider"). Her mother committed suicide while receiving psychiatric care in 1950(she learned much later in life that Frances Fonda had nine abortions and was a victim of sexual abuse). An unexceptional student, she dropped out of Vassar College in the late '50s to pursue modeling and acting, appearing on the cover of Vogue magazine twice. A life-altering apprenticeship with theater titan Lee Strasberg convinced a 20 year old Jane that she had what it took to follow in her father's footsteps. She obsessively pursued roles as JFK entered the White House, racking up appearances in "Tall Story", "Period of Adjustment" and "Walk on the Wild Side". Newsday pegged her the most promising young actress of the decade after 1963's "Sunday in New York". Fonda's steady rise continued in "Cat Ballou"(which earned Lee Marvin the Best Actor Oscar), "The Chase", "Any Wednesday" and "Hurry Sundown". 
